Don't eat Pringles Fat Free chips!
 

Don't even fawking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fawk.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fawking tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fawking electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible A$$ Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes $hitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the Fawk?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You Fawking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fawking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fawking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fawking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fawking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that $hit again.

Fawking Pringle bastards.

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fawk Pringles.

:shock: That really sucks. Sorry to hear about your mishap, but thanks for the warning.:)


Pringles are the Devil :twisted:


:lol:

That's the funniest shait I've ever read!:lol:

Thank God I never liked those pressed mashed taters called Pringles.

Don't eat the whole damn can(s) for god sake!!

I was laughing my azz off too!

im sending this to pringles! heres another story http://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?t=504473

at least you were not drunk, and attempted to wipe up with bathroom cleaner

http://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?t=504473


-Paul

thanks for making me spit my starbucks all over the screen:flipoff: that was some funny chit Jason.

It's not just Pringles... There are several other companies that use this "olean" stuff. So beware of any so called "fat free" chips. This stuff was all over the news about 2 years ago... On like 60 minutes and stuff. I'm surprised they still make it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olestra

incidently... I fell out of my fawkin' chair I was laughing so hard, think I broke my ***... thanx man

Hmmm... weird!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html


:flipoff:

That is weird, that's exactly where I read it too!:flipoff:

I'm sitting at work hardly able to contain myself, ready to roll on the floor laughing.

Olean came out origonally with lays or something like that. My wife purchased some and we had about 1/2 a bag. The next morning we had the sh1ts, nothing as bad as posted but we never purchased ANYTHING that looked even close to Olean.

I just shait myself from laughing so hard.:):):):):):):):)

Im in the library right now and I am trying to keep from laughing loudly, but cant.

jason you suck man, i'm sitting here in english class (finished my work early and decided to check out my favorite site) trying as hard as i possibly can with little success to keep from bursting out laughing. That's just too funny...and sad.
-Dalton

HAHHAHA... I knew where this was going when I read the title....

Hahaha ohhh my god....that is some funny chit!!!

LMFAO HAHA that **** is to fawkin funny :lol: :lol: :lol: