god damn nosy neighbor!

[Chadworkz]

A man and his pet monkey walk into a bar...

The man sits down and orders a beer...while he is sitting there drinking his beer, his pet monkey is wandering around the bar picking things up and eating them. After watching this for a while, the bartender finally approaches the man...

Bartender: "Sir, do you know what your pet monkey has been doing this whole time?"
Man: "No, what?"
Bartender: "He has been wandering around the bar picking things up and eating them...he at all my pretzels, he ate all my peanuts, he ate the pool-cue chalk, he even ate the pool cue-ball!"
Man: "Yea, he does that sometimes."

Well, the very next day, the man and his pet monkey come back into the same bar. The man sits down and orders a beer, and while he is sitting there drinking his beer, his pet monkey is wandering around the bar picking things up, sticking them in his butt, pulling them out, and then eating them. Very confused, the bartender again approaches the man...

Bartender: "Sir, do you have any idea what your pet monkey has been doing this time?"
Man: "No, what's he been doing this time?"
Bartender: "He has been wandering around the bar picking things up, sticking them in his butt, pulling them out, and then eating them...he stuck each pretzel up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it...he stuck each peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it...he even stuck each piece of pool-cue chalk up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it! What the hell is he doing now?"
Man: "Well, after having to squeeze that cue-ball out of his ass last night, he has been test fitting everything first!!!"