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Old 12-17-2005, 08:13 PM   #1
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Default dear Santa.......

IF SANTA ANSWERED HIS MAIL, HONESTLY....

Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy spase ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer frend,
Billy


Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. Your on your way to a career in lawn care. How bout i
send you a book so you can learn to read and write? Im giving your older
brother a space ranger, At least HE can spell!
-Santa

-----------------------------------

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year and all i ask for is peace and joy all
over the world for everybody
Love,
Sarah


Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you didn't they??
Santa

-----------------------------------

Dear Santa,
I dont know if you can do this but for Christmas, I'd like my mommy and
my daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Tommy


Dear Tommy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
huricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your friged mom, who
rides his *** constantly?? Its time to give up that dream, let me give you
some nice legos insted
Santa

-----------------------------------


Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, playstation, a train, G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a
pony and a tuba
Love,
Francis


Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays?? I bet you're gay
Santa


-----------------------------------

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you and carrots for you under the tree, and
i left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan


Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
I'm riding the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?? leave me a bottle of
Scotch.
Santa

-----------------------------------


Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days a year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas


Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China, I have a condo in Vegas, where i spend
most of my time making amateur porno videos. I unwind by drinking myself
stupid and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
craps table.
hey, you wanted to know,
Santa


-----------------------------------


Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when were awake,
like in the song??
Love,
Jessica


Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible?? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
skipping your house
Santa

-----------------------------------


Dear Santa,
I really really really want a puppy this year, Please please please
PLEASE! PLEASE could i have one??
Timmy



Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging **** may work on your parents but that carp does not
work with me your getting a piece of coal again so now shut the hell up
Santa
-----------------------------------


Dearest Santa,
We dont have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love always,
Marky


Look Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky" That's whay you.re, getting your
*** whipped at school. Second, you dont live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the
burglars do: through your bedroom window
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
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Old 12-17-2005, 08:22 PM   #2
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Lol I like the one with susan and the reindeers
.
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Old 12-17-2005, 08:51 PM   #3
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lol lmfao
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Old 12-18-2005, 11:14 AM   #4
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Quote:
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
I'm riding the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?? leave me a bottle of
Scotch.
Santa
ROFL!!
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Old 12-18-2005, 04:53 PM   #5
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oh man, christmas brings out the best in people, great stuff.!!!...
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Old 12-18-2005, 07:53 PM   #6
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banging the babysitter like a screen door in a huricane

Oh, by the way, "Scotchy scotch scotch, I love scotch!"
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Old 12-18-2005, 08:06 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eric113
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy spase ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer frend,
Billy


Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. Your on your way to a career in lawn care. How bout i
send you a book so you can learn to read and write? Im giving your older
brother a space ranger, At least HE can spell!
-Santa
Hey Santa, it is "you are" or "you're," not "your." "Nice spelling" isn't a sentence. "i" is correctly typed "I." "Im" is correctly typed "I'm." Also, it was incorrect to capitalize "At" since it was not starting a new sentence. Please don't try to be a spelling nazi to some little boy, if you are also an incompetent speller yourself.
Yer frend,
Robb
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Old 12-18-2005, 09:57 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robb
Hey Santa, it is "you are" or "you're," not "your." "Nice spelling" isn't a sentence. "i" is correctly typed "I." "Im" is correctly typed "I'm." Also, it was incorrect to capitalize "At" since it was not starting a new sentence. Please don't try to be a spelling nazi to some little boy, if you are also an incompetent speller yourself.
Yer frend,
Robb
Dear Robb, how fat are your fingers? Go yourself, and I'll be with your wife.

Santa
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Old 12-18-2005, 10:55 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robb
Hey Santa, it is "you are" or "you're," not "your." "Nice spelling" isn't a sentence. "i" is correctly typed "I." "Im" is correctly typed "I'm." Also, it was incorrect to capitalize "At" since it was not starting a new sentence. Please don't try to be a spelling nazi to some little boy, if you are also an incompetent speller yourself.
Yer frend,
Robb
it freaking joke.....
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Old 12-19-2005, 04:39 AM   #10
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Well, his response was a freaking joke too...
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Old 12-19-2005, 02:39 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eric113
it freaking joke.....
Do you really think that I would make a serious post addressed to "Santa?"
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Old 12-19-2005, 02:45 PM   #12
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Dear Santa,

Just send me the amateur porn, as long as it does'nt feature my wife.
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Old 12-19-2005, 02:48 PM   #13
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Dear Braceysdad,

I am sorry I looked through every amateur porn I could find and I was unable to locate any that did not feature your wife. Anal, facials, gang bang, she does it all!

P.S. Tell her I'll be late tonight, it is my busy season you know.
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Old 12-19-2005, 02:52 PM   #14
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Dear Santa,

That tea bagging ho, she always told me santa was not real. I should have known better when she said Santa brought her a "pearl necklace" last year. I never saw her wear it.
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Old 12-19-2005, 03:29 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by braceysdad
she said Santa brought her a "pearl necklace" last year. I never saw her wear it.
Braceysdad,

I saw the pearl necklace and it was great, she loved it. Wait till she tells you about the dirty sanchez I am giving to her this year!

Santa
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Old 12-19-2005, 03:32 PM   #16
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Well at least your not bringing her a "snow ball" again.










P.S. Your a sick basturd Santa, could you leave me your number for tips and tricks
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Old 12-19-2005, 06:36 PM   #17
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You guys crack me up!
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