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Old 04-07-2010, 10:06 PM   #1
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Default New element discovered

Found this on another site. too funny.

Ok Chemistry folks - remember that class in High School with that periodic table on the wall with all of those funny sounding elements? There's a new one that has just been discovered:

Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science Discovered

Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.

The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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Old 04-07-2010, 10:11 PM   #2
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lol. man that chick is ugly

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Old 04-08-2010, 12:06 AM   #3
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Old 04-08-2010, 12:15 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Duuuuuuuude View Post
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Old 04-08-2010, 12:35 AM   #5
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thats great
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Old 04-08-2010, 12:40 AM   #6
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Voted....best thread yet.
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Old 04-08-2010, 03:25 AM   #7
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Old 04-08-2010, 04:51 AM   #8
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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Old 05-25-2010, 12:20 AM   #9
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Figures, no protons!
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