02-24-2016, 02:09 PM | #3141 |
~THE SCALE SHOP~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: KILLEEN TX
Posts: 10,056
| Re: Funny Pictures |
Sponsored Links | |
02-24-2016, 02:40 PM | #3142 |
I wanna be Dave Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: We-Go, Chi-Town, Ill
Posts: 2,550
| Re: Funny Pictures
ooops, Hope that's not one of yours!
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02-24-2016, 02:59 PM | #3143 |
~THE SCALE SHOP~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: KILLEEN TX
Posts: 10,056
| Re: Funny Pictures
luckily no. although i did misplace my philips bit at the last race....
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02-24-2016, 03:18 PM | #3144 |
Quarry Creeper Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Oroville
Posts: 376
| Re: Funny Pictures
I wonder what the head looks like.
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02-24-2016, 03:34 PM | #3145 |
I wanna be Dave Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Tri-cities, WA
Posts: 4,831
| Re: Funny Pictures |
02-24-2016, 03:51 PM | #3146 |
I wanna be Dave Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: We-Go, Chi-Town, Ill
Posts: 2,550
| Re: Funny Pictures
Ouch
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02-25-2016, 11:39 AM | #3147 |
RCC Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,765
| Re: Funny Pictures
Speaking of metal
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02-26-2016, 12:33 PM | #3148 |
Rock Crawler Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Casper
Posts: 620
| Re: Funny Pictures |
03-01-2016, 11:02 PM | #3149 |
I wanna be Dave Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: We-Go, Chi-Town, Ill
Posts: 2,550
| Re: Funny Pictures |
03-02-2016, 05:00 AM | #3150 |
Come and take them!® Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Rolling Hill's of Maryland™
Posts: 971
| Re: Funny Pictures
Judge At A Chili Cook-Off. "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in... I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3." Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy. CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting red-faced from all of the beer. CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT ... Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 -- No report. -- |
03-02-2016, 07:54 AM | #3151 |
Quarry Creeper Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Perth, Western Australia, 6108
Posts: 214
| Re: Funny Pictures Thanks for that. It brought tears to my eyes. "I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair." "I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone." "My pants are full of lava to match my shirt." You're never too old to enjoy a good fart joke. |
03-02-2016, 06:15 PM | #3152 |
I wanna be Dave Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Streamwood, IL
Posts: 2,442
| Re: Funny Pictures
This ones been around a while, first time I read it was back in the 90's, but it still makes me laugh so hard it brings tears to my eyes, lol |
03-04-2016, 07:06 AM | #3153 |
Quarry Creeper Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Western, NC
Posts: 490
| Re: Funny Pictures |
03-04-2016, 10:13 AM | #3154 |
Come and take them!® Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Rolling Hill's of Maryland™
Posts: 971
| Re: Funny Pictures
^Stumpin' my foot and LMAO. That was Definitely Funny!! |
03-04-2016, 05:14 PM | #3155 |
Pebble Pounder Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: AREA 51
Posts: 170
| Re: Funny Pictures |
03-05-2016, 03:02 AM | #3156 |
Pebble Pounder Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Rio Brisbanero Australia
Posts: 128
| Re: Funny Pictures |
03-05-2016, 04:47 AM | #3157 |
Come and take them!® Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Rolling Hill's of Maryland™
Posts: 971
| Re: Funny Pictures
.. |
03-08-2016, 01:37 PM | #3158 |
Rock Stacker Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kalamazoo
Posts: 68
| Re: Funny Pictures
Helium Beer review..... Last edited by AB8DQ; 03-19-2016 at 04:45 AM. |
03-10-2016, 09:04 PM | #3159 |
~THE SCALE SHOP~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: KILLEEN TX
Posts: 10,056
| Re: Funny Pictures
Priorities |
03-11-2016, 12:45 AM | #3160 |
Quarry Creeper Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Western, NC
Posts: 490
| Re: Funny Pictures |
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