I need advice talking to a former boss

[c0bra]

Everyone I really need advice. I found a job I want to apply for but I need to clear the air with my former boss and honestly I’m scared.

After I graduated college with 2 associates degrees, engineering and mechatronics, I was looking for a job in my field. Which I got my foot in the door at the dream place I wanted to work at. Like this place I was told did not normally hire people fresh out of college with no experience, but my neighbor and someone I went to school with (somehow got a internship there) both worked there and they put in a good word for me. Plus my new boss also was a teacher, I didn’t have him but one of my references was the other teacher that did the same classes as my new boss.

Anyways I started at this place building control panels for bulk material handling with no definitive day I would ever start doing engineering work. 2 weeks later I was starting in the engineering office which after a few months led to full time engineer just without the tittle. I eventually worked my way up to helping the experienced guys with the drawings for the great big jobs. The ones with multiple sales people with several meetings that required start up. Unfortunately at this time I started focusing more at texting my girlfriend at the time and less on work.

Things got worse when the vp saw me on my phone which lead my boss and i to the hr office. Unfortunately I was too stubborn and did it again and my boss was forced to let me go.

Weeks later my neighbor told my parents that it killed my boss. He really liked my work ethic but wished I wasn’t stubborn with my phone.

I did the one thing I didn’t want to do more than anything, I made my neighbor look bad. I owe my neighbor everything. When I was going for engineering he told me about what he did for a living and it really interested me so I asked him what he did to get the job there and I followed in sort of similar footsteps.

Anyways now it’s been 16 months since the day I threw a sledgehammer at my career and I have yet to talk to my former boss since it happened. He told me I could go back within a year but I don’t want to. Him and upper management will be staring at everything I do not that I don’t deserve it. I have avoided making this phone call for 4 months but I can’t any longer.

I found a job that I want to apply for that’s doing engineering work that I did working there and I need my old boss to give me a good word. This job isn’t at the same place and I don’t know if I will even get it, but I have to try.

So tomorrow I am calling my old boss to clear the air. Any suggestions?


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[JatoTheRipper]

A face to face apology is a great start, but don’t immediately switch to asking for a reference. And don’t be mad if he refuses to be a reference. He already put his reputation on the line and you shit on it. I think not going back to that job is another slap in his face. Hopefully he feels differently. No matter how you spin it, that’s a very difficult and awkward call to make. Good luck.

Most companies aren’t harsh with cellphone policies. I wish they would be. Phones don’t belong at work. Using it on a rare occasion is certainly necessary, but otherwise it’s a distracting toy.

[c0bra]

Originally Posted by JatoTheRipper

A face to face apology is a great start, but don’t immediately switch to asking for a reference. And don’t be mad if he refuses to be a reference. He already put his reputation on the line and you shit on it. I think not going back to that job is another slap in his face. Hopefully he feels differently. No matter how you spin it, that’s a very difficult and awkward call to make. Good luck.

Most companies aren’t harsh with cellphone policies. I wish they would be. Phones don’t belong at work. Using it on a rare occasion is certainly necessary, but otherwise it’s a distracting toy.

I am honestly completely torn on wether or not I want to go back. I just want to clear the air with him so I’m the event a potential employer calls him, he puts in a good word.


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[JatoTheRipper]

Originally Posted by c0bra

I am honestly completely torn on wether or not I want to go back. I just want to clear the air with him so I’m the event a potential employer calls him, he puts in a good word.


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Job reference aside, you should want to make things right with him because he had your back and you made him look bad. It’s the right thing to do. I mean think how he may feel and the awkward position he is probably in at work after this situation you created.

First thing’s first. Man up and go talk to him. At the very least, give him a call and apologize. Give him that respect. See how he feels towards you right now. Just opening that dialogue may lead to talk about your current job or potential job and that conversation may clarify some things.

This is a tough learning experience. Don’t take it lightly and don’t waste it.

Keep us updated.

[c0bra]

Originally Posted by JatoTheRipper

Job reference aside, you should want to make things right with him because he had your back and you made him look bad. It’s the right thing to do. I mean think how he may feel and the awkward position he is probably in at work after this situation you created.

First thing’s first. Man up and go talk to him. At the very least, give him a call and apologize. Give him that respect. See how he feels towards you right now. Just opening that dialogue may lead to talk about your current job or potential job and that conversation may clarify some things.

This is a tough learning experience. Don’t take it lightly and don’t waste it.

Keep us updated.

I will keep everyone updated. I’m planning on calling him tomorrow after work. I have already made sure I still have the correct phone number for him.


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[twade984]

Good luck. I bet just admitting you were in the wrong will go a long way to clear the air.

I’m just a lowly Ford tech, but being upfront and honest has always served me well. Personally I wouldn’t be afraid to just explain the situation to the potential employer in case they do contact previous employer. At the same time, it’s a pretty low bar to get hired as a tech, so your mileage may vary haha.

[Topher Builds]

If you aren’t using your old boss as a reference I wouldn’t worry about it.

When we hire people we only check to see if they worked there during the time period claimed on the application and handling the tasks that the applicant said they handled.

Couldn’t care less about what a former boss thinks and more than likely they won’t have a chance to share that opinion anyway.

Any job that sweats someone about a phone when the job duties are being fulfilled is more interested in control than a working relationship anyway. Now if you let that keep you from doing what was expected of you that’s a different story, but again chances are it won’t matter unless who you’re applying for personally knows your old boss.

[Gula]

A face to face apology would be the your best bet for redemption, with your former boss. Now trying to go back to a former employer after being fired/let go is something I personally would not do. Any other places that offer that type of employment near you? Funny, I'm going to school for the same thing right now.

[Daycrawler]

My advise, don't say a word. Just let it go at what it was 16 months ago. If you are in Easton Pa., the law is that your former employer cant say anything bad about you. They can ask about job performance and attendance. The old boss can answer truthfully. However he cant trash talk you.

When I was a Police officer, I did background checks. They were done on new hires and were really though. While we did dismiss some due to background issues, they were mainly for driving records, drugs or lying on the application. That said, I never had one phone interview, where the candidate was trashed by the former employer. IMO most former employers want a person to move on and have success.

When you run into the guys, say sorry that you did what you did. If that is unlikely then make a phone call and apologize, however don't do it for the new job, do it because you mean it. Good luck!

[Peaker]

When working, i have always turned off my phone and left it in my locker.
BUT ! some times i have been in a place where i would need to have the phone on and on my, so on those days i have informed my manager that today my phone are on as i expect a important personal call.
And that have always been respected, not least since other people in the same firm even run their own little form on the phone while at work, and thats just so disrespectful in my book.

I dont understand the level of time most people spend on their phone every day, i get by just fine with 5 - 10 minutes on average, and a 0 minute day are not unusual at all with me.

[Highmark]

I work in a different sector, but my advice for people who get canned is to always get back on the horse as soon as you can. Don't wait until you have a huge gap in your resume you have to explain as it just makes it harder for you later on. People get fired every day, but it's what you do after that makes the difference in the quality of the job you have and the opportunities that are available to you. I would say you're doing the right thing trying to reconcile, but just know the guy doesn't owe you anything and if he does give you a reference its because he's a really good guy. I mean it kind of is what it is at this point, but if your candid and can show him that you've matured and learned from the experience it might be enough to get you somewhere.

If he won't go to bat for you, just be humble and realize that you're probably not going to have your pick of the jobs that are available. It might take you getting a job that's close to what you want to do, but doesn't pay as much or has shittier hours to get the experience to show that you can do the work. Alternatively this might be an opportunity to get a bachelors or pursue another path. I've worked with plenty of people who have got fired, and still done really well for themselves, and frankly sometimes its the best thing for people to help them mature.

[c0bra]

Thanks everyone, and yes I am in Easton spa. I’m just looking to clear the air with my former boss. I’ve talked to 2 people that still work there and they both have had mixed feelings about going back, the bad was more because upper management will be looking over my shoulder and promotions might not happen.

After I got fired getting another job was not fun. After multiple interviews, even second interviews that looked promising. After months of applying literally everywhere for building control panels and controls engineer positions I finally got a job after 7 months building panels. But I really want that damm engineer tittle and I don’t see it happening here any time soon as I work for a small business. Theres less than 100 people between Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York and Delaware

There is a job I am going to be applying to this weekend that is for a controls engineer position, the only issue is that it’s about an hour away from me


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[4wd4ws]

Originally Posted by c0bra

I’m just looking to clear the air with my former boss.

Wut?

[Col_Sanders]

Sounds like you were given a good opportunity and you blew it. No matter what you choose to do, I'd call and apologize. Tell him you were an idiot and that your mind was in the wrong place. We were all young, dumb, and full of you know what at one point so he should understand. Hopefully you have grown up and wont make the mistake again. Probably would not be a good idea to ask him for a reference right then, but if you truly were a good worker aside from the phone thing, he would probably put in a good word if your potential employer calls.

[Mike Flea]

Actually, you can put him as a reference on a new job app, and if the new employer does call him, by law, he cannot give you a bad review, that's called slander.

[GA Dawg]

Originally Posted by Mike Flea

Actually, you can put him as a reference on a new job app, and if the new employer does call him, by law, he cannot give you a bad review, that's called slander.

It's only slander if it's false.

[Mike Flea]

Unless a former employee committed a felony on the job, a former employer cannot give you a bad review that may harm your chances at getting another job.

[GA Dawg]

Originally Posted by Mike Flea

Unless a former employee committed a felony on the job, a former employer cannot give you a bad review that may harm your chances at getting another job.

As long as what you are saying is true, you can certainly give a bad reference.

https://employment.findlaw.com/hirin...-illegal-.html

[Mike Flea]

Thanks for the link, it must be an Illinois law then, like California, where you can't say something that could potentially hurt a former employee from getting a job elsewhere

[GA Dawg]

I don't know what I would do if I couldn't tell the truth about people when giving references. A few years back I had a guy call me to just verify employment dates and job responsibilities and he said that he was going to give this guy a job as long as he could obtain his security clearance. I told him that if my former employee gets a security clearance, I'm leaving the country because the American experiment has failed. That led to a much longer phone call. I noticed on Linkedin a few months later that he ended up somewhere else.