Baby's First Fork

[high plains drifter]

Featuring:

> Revolutionary XL Engagement Barbs- Are you tired of traditional utensils slipping out of baby's mouth and spilling food all over the floor? Not any more! Baby's First Fork reduces that risk by securely latching onto inside of baby's cheek and assuring that the fork only comes out when good and damn ready.

> Precision Targeting Tines- Ever seen how blunt most baby forks are? Well with safety in mind, Baby's First Fork utilizes precision ground razor sharp tines to pierce even the most unruly plated peas and carrots... minimizing the risk of veggies becoming lethal projectiles... rocketing off the plate and taking out baby's eye. Rest easy, mom & dad!

> Honed Serrated Edges- When baby needs a little assistance managing that porterhouse steak or stuffed jalapeno, parents can simply let baby do all the work! Sharp serrations allow your bundle of joy to cut each piece as large or as small as they want. Say bye-bye to this tedious chore and hello to your toddler's independence!

> Innovative Slow Chew Technology- If your little one has a habit of inhaling food down their gullet, Baby's First Fork will reduce that dangerous tendency by reminding them that eating can be a painful experience if not done properly, slowly, and above all else... very very carefully. A utensil that can teach manners AND self-control? You betcha!

> 2-IN-1 Eat & Defend Design- If your baby is used to the trauma of having its food stolen, Baby's First Fork greatly diminishes that risk by doubling as an instant weapon to fend off would-be food thieves. Opportunistic pets? Malnourished siblings? Better watch out! It's time to help baby help themselves!

And here it is folks.... Baby's First Fork!

[Goro Majima]

Bro LOL

[durok]

Tactical SPORK insanity!

[ferp420]

thats forking awsome
do they make them for adults too

[high plains drifter]

I almost put it in my mouth to check the authenticity but the look in my wife's eyes was not one of support nor appreciation. She thinks I have a twisted sense of humor but after finding this thing in my yard years ago, I always just had this vision. Was gonna throw it out many times but always decided to keep holding on to it... like maybe I'd be bored enough some day and in need of a weird pointless project and that I'd give it a little "sass". It was time I guess. The sales-pitch wrote itself lol.

[DRED805]

This is just cruel. Why would you even joke about a child maiming themselves while trying to eat? You should be ashamed of yourself.



























I'm just kidding. I don't give a shit about your kids.

[high plains drifter]

I consider myself a positive influence on every kid that I've ever interacted with. Really wish I could've been a dad and I'm sometimes a bit envious of fathers that seem to genuinely have good relationships with their boys and girls, but unfortunately it just wasn't in the cards for my wife and I.

[W1ck3d0n3]

Wow you found a rare Klingon war fork, there used for fighting and then you use it to eat your dead foe. Nice find lol

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

[DRED805]

Originally Posted by high plains drifter

I consider myself a positive influence on every kid that I've ever interacted with. Really wish I could've been a dad and I'm sometimes a bit envious of fathers that seem to genuinely have good relationships with their boys and girls, but unfortunately it just wasn't in the cards for my wife and I.

I meant anyone's kids. I was picturing this quote from letterkenny when I said that... haha.

[high plains drifter]

haha... completely forgot that reference!