A mechanics rant.

[dezfan]

Seen this on ORCRC and thought it was hilarious!:lol:

a rant from your mechanic

Date: 2006-10-09, 9:25PM CDT


ok here goes.1st, yes there are some nice curtious people out there. but they are few and far between.so here are some thoughts from the people most of you consider low life, bottom feeding, trailer park, grease monkeys. and these are from my personal exsperiances over the last 15 years.

#1 to the parents..whne you bring your mini van in for its 1st oil change at 3000 miles, and the inside reaks so bad from all the milk shakes spilled down the dash,door panels and carpet that has now spoiled combined with the ground in cheese burger happy meals in the carpet after being baked in the hot summer sun for several weeks. dont be pissed when i refuse to drive it because the smell almost made me loose my lunch and require you to have it detailed before i will touch it.
after all.........why should i even need to tell you this.if it was my wife that did that to my new car. i would sell it and she could ride the ****ing bus!!

#2. to the red neck that decieded to use his pasenger side of his geo storm for his spit cup (dash,seat,door panel,and the floor). wtf were you thinking!!!
and why on gods green earth would you think me or anyone else would crawl under your dash in all that nasty *** **** to fix your blower motor so you can have ac!! personaly i want to know if you would do it? and its your spit!!

#3. to those with toddlers.if you brat slings milk from the bottle all over the back seat area.....it spoils!!! and you can smell it in the front! also...it doesnt help to shove your ****ty and piss filled diapers in the rear door panels!!

#4 to the guy with mold and fungus growing in the carpet. the smell should of been the clue. however.. the mold and **** does give the visual. clean that **** up!!! wtf is wrong with you? haw does your underwear look ****er???

#5 to the stupid *** insurance adjusters. if there is a hole in the block and a rod is hanging out....its safe to say it has a broken rod, and the oil pan doesnt have to be removed to see why...the ****ing rod is broke and the block is shot!!!

#6 to the lady that wants to play the race card..i dont care what color you are, i dont care if your edjucated, and i dont care if your a woman. just because i fixed your engine doesnt mean its my fault you trans went out! edj.black woman or not!!!

#7 to all the workers at nasa. just because you work there doesnt mean you are THE rocket scientist!! someone has to clean the ****er! and my gues would be the one driving the pontiac!!so dont be pissed because i am not purfect and didnt fix your car right the 1st time. after all, didnt the shuttle blow up 2 times?????so far!!!at least my **** up didnt kill the whole crew!

#8 to all the doctors that think they are far superior to normal people. just keep in mind that you had to study the human body, its been the same sense the 1st man thousands of years ago. and you still **** up.. i deal with a car that changes almost every year. so when we cant find your squeek or rattle that only happens when your doing 70 and changing lanes please understand that i cand drive the car at 70,change lanes,and be underneath your car to see wtf it is all at the same time... but im doing my best. and the good thing is..it wont kill you!!!

#9 to those of you that have or want a convertable.. dont bitch because of the wind noise, road noise, water leaks, and rattles. your basicaly covering your investment with a ****ing paper plate!!!! its suposed to be like that idiot!! i cant fix your bad decision!!

and heres some tips on buying your new car..
1 is it a peice of ****? google it and find out!

2 when you look at the engine.. can you see it? if not. its gonna cost you dearly to have it fixed. so dont be mad at me.

3 if you buy a full size truck with a v6 dont be mad because it has no power. again i cant fix your bad decision!

4 if your weigh 400 plus pounds, the cute geo metro is NOT the car for you. dont be mad because it pulls to the left. you have exceeded the weight limit on that side of the car!!!

5 if it sucks to get in and out of that new shinny car... it will always suck to get in and out of it, and more so on your bad days. dont buy that one!

6 cars with split ac systems. they dont blow the same temp on both sides. you will never get your side of the car to be a different temp then your passanger,
your in the same box of air that they are in!!! its pointless!!!

7 if you live in a hot state.. a dark colored car will get much hotter than a light colored car. and it wont cool off as fast!! dont bitch about it..you picked it!!!i can not fix physics! thats what happens to a dark color..it gets hotter!!!!

• this is in or around s.texas
• [SIZE=+0]no[/SIZE] -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[microgoat]

We had a Jag in the shop with a take-home bag full of spoiled lobster bisque under the passenger seat once. Damn near everyone in the shop lost their lunch that day :lol:

 

[ColquittCustom405]

Awww that's funny.Number one is so damun true.

 

[ColquittCustom405]

We had a Jag in the shop with a take-home bag full of spoiled lobster bisque under the passenger seat once. Damn near everyone in the shop lost their lunch that day :lol:

When I worked at red carpet I was one of the bay detailers.This lady brought in a 1978 Benz.The inside of the windshield was caked with cigarette smoke and this smell was coming from up under the passenger seat.I look under and see a can of cat food with the seal popped.I called the lady back and had someone else drive it around front......Eww I just got that vomit taste in my mouth again.

 

[BrandO]

You just explained why I bailed on the whole mechanic thing. People suck, plain and simple. Now I build race cars for a living. People still suck, but I don't have to deal with the general public. Except for the ocasional race fan. Then I just fill them up with B.S. and walk away with a smile."thumbsup"

 

[1BadJeepBruiser]

Working for toyota for 3 years as a tech... all this is sooooooooo true... The worst was this time I was SUPPOSE to change rear struts on an old corolla I think it was ...I opened the back door to pop out the back seat to get to the stut top bolts and there was dirty fawkin skid marked underwear :shock: :x I was like FAWWWKKKKK This!!!! marched my *** inside to the service writer and was like NOT Happening!!!!! I made them come out to the shop and look at the shiat stained underware and I was like " I am not working on, near, or in this car untill he cleans this shiat out" needless to say, they told the guy to bring back his 238,000 mile shiatter another day when it wasnt full of crap :roll:

Reasons listed above, is why Im not a mechanic anymore...to much of a PIA

 

[Jamus]

4 if your weigh 400 plus pounds, the cute geo metro is NOT the car for you. dont be mad because it pulls to the left. you have exceeded the weight limit on that side of the car!!!

Man, I see that WAAAAAY too often around here. And of course they're going 70+ in the curves of WV. A good gust of wind could blow the car into my windshield. Don't think the wipers could handle a bug that size.

 

[Highmark]

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's the site of a automobile or house that hasn't been cleaned sence it was purchased. What the hell is the point in making an investment in something if you're not going to take care of it?

^My reason for not being a mechanic.:lol:

 

[racerx]

When I first started working on cars I worked with a guy who was not shy about bitchin if your car smelled like sweaty fat a$$. He would start yelling and screaming " HOLY SHIAT THIS CAR SMELLS LIKe A$$" Then he would grab a handfull and I mean handfull of smelly tree's one he would open up and hold in front of his face while driving the car into the service bay and about 7 or 8 to leave on the front seat!:lol: And he would leave a whole stack of litter bags too!
In the 15 years I worked in the auto repair biz I have seen just about all I want to see in peoples beaters. Dirty underwear/panties (seen it), decayed food on the floor or under the seat (seen it) , drugs (seen it) 20 or 30 beer cans in the back seat spilled stale stank beer (seen it ... and smelled it), used rubbers (seen it) B.O. that would gag a maggot ( Jerry Seinfeld style) If I had a car that stank that bad I would have burned it.
I found $100 under a floor mat once and I gave it to the nice lady that owned the car and she said her husband must have been hiding it from her, so she said she was gonna go buy a new pair of shoes... OUCH!

PEOPLE ARE GROSS!:shock:

 

[xjman]

I was originally going to be a mechanic. I took various automotive tech classes throughout highschool. Sadly my Senior year of highschool stopped that job in its tracks.

We would have all sorts of people bring their cars to our class so we could work on them for just the cost of the part. Well one day a guy brought in a 91 cougar, he needed the front passenger seat replaced, along with some random maintainance.

Well, the first day the car was there we went about replacing the waterpump, radiator, mastercylinder, brakes, and exhaust.

The next day when I got to class I walked out and opened the door to a horrific smell. My first reaction was *gag* but I was like, oh well the guy doesnt clean his car. So I started taking the seat out, came out no big deal. I grabbed the new seat and bolted it down, it was good to go. At that point we realized that the driver seat back was broken and wouuldnt work it would fall back at the slightest push.

We told the guy and he told us to replace it. So I started unbolting the seat when the stench hit me hard, I looked down and there was a huge pile of crap down beneath the seat. I stood up, walked to the mineral wash tub cleaned my hands and arms, and went and called the guy to get his car. He walked in and instantly started to scream and bitch that the seat wasnt replaced. The teacher told him as soon as he cleans the pile of **** that had ran down the back of the seat onto the floor we would conisder finishing the job.

He actually tried to sue the school for not finishing the work.

 

[chino63]

amen to all of the above!! 17+ years for me as a mechanic. what would posses someone to completely trash the inside of a $60k navigator in three months or less is beyond me. we call those nasty a$$ cars "penalty boxes" whoever pisses off the service writers that day gets them!

 

[microgoat]

I found fifty grand hidden in a Crown Royal bag under the seat of another Jag. Had to leave it there, though. You gotta figure a guy like that wouldn't be shy about getting it back.