Jeff Foxworthy:
Earlier in the week, I asked for your Christmas Redneck Jokes and y'all didn't disappoint! I read about a quarter of them before I had to quit cause my side was hurting from laughing too much. Anyway, here are some that I really liked and I will share more in the days to come. Thanks for the laughs!
You Might be a Christmas Redneck if:
-Your grandma's beard is more impressive than Santa's.
-You have a deer stand in your Christmas tree.
-You use the cobwebs in the corners of your house as tinsel for the Christmas tree.
-You really do ask Santa for your two front teeth.
-All your plastic Pink Flamingos yard ornaments have on Santa hats.
-You decorate your tree with fishing lures.
-You leave beer and nuts for Santa, instead of milk and cookies.
-You got more lights on your dually pickup than on your Christmas tree.
-Your outdoor lights are bug zappers.
-You use your Rudolph lawn ornament for bow & arrow practice.
-You have enough cars in the front yard to dress up and name for every reindeer
-If you think The Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
-If squirrels still live in your Christmas tree.
-If you have to put an electric fence around your Christmas tree to keep your dog from peeing on it.
-The gift exchange at school pretty much involves you and your cousins.
-Your husband backs his welding truck up to the front yard and runs his cutting torch through the living room window to light the Christmas fire (true story).
-You use Whiteout on the card you get from your mama to give to your girlfriend.
-You have more lights working on the outside of your trailer than you do on the inside.
-You have a tree stand in your yard and a salt lick on your roof.
-Grandma finally gave you her moon shine recipe as a gift for Christmas.
-The cops stake out in front of your house on Christmas morning so they can arrest most of your family in one trip.
Earlier in the week, I asked for your Christmas Redneck Jokes and y'all didn't disappoint! I read about a quarter of them before I had to quit cause my side was hurting from laughing too much. Anyway, here are some that I really liked and I will share more in the days to come. Thanks for the laughs!
You Might be a Christmas Redneck if:
-Your grandma's beard is more impressive than Santa's.
-You have a deer stand in your Christmas tree.
-You use the cobwebs in the corners of your house as tinsel for the Christmas tree.
-You really do ask Santa for your two front teeth.
-All your plastic Pink Flamingos yard ornaments have on Santa hats.
-You decorate your tree with fishing lures.
-You leave beer and nuts for Santa, instead of milk and cookies.
-You got more lights on your dually pickup than on your Christmas tree.
-Your outdoor lights are bug zappers.
-You use your Rudolph lawn ornament for bow & arrow practice.
-You have enough cars in the front yard to dress up and name for every reindeer
-If you think The Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
-If squirrels still live in your Christmas tree.
-If you have to put an electric fence around your Christmas tree to keep your dog from peeing on it.
-The gift exchange at school pretty much involves you and your cousins.
-Your husband backs his welding truck up to the front yard and runs his cutting torch through the living room window to light the Christmas fire (true story).
-You use Whiteout on the card you get from your mama to give to your girlfriend.
-You have more lights working on the outside of your trailer than you do on the inside.
-You have a tree stand in your yard and a salt lick on your roof.
-Grandma finally gave you her moon shine recipe as a gift for Christmas.
-The cops stake out in front of your house on Christmas morning so they can arrest most of your family in one trip.
