AggressorBLUE
Pebble Pounder
Ever sent your tiny tuck somewhere you don't want to go, and apparenty it should not have gone either, because now it's stuck? Tired of having to wade through the perils of the most dangerous terrain suburban America has to offer? Me too! Which is why I hired the finest engineers on South Jerseys craigslist to develop a highly advanced solution to this problem.
After millions in government bail outs, thousands of hours of device testing at the JPL, and paying off several law suits that concluded you totally can't prove this gives you cancer, Aggressively Passive Industries is finally ready to unveil:
A Stick:
Combined with a Hook:
yielding:
The Universal No-hands Stuck Truck Unstucking Contraption, or U.N.S.T.U.C., as our overpaid marketing team likes to call it.
Shown here: the U.N.S.T.U.C. is unstucking a truck that has been stuck. Not shown, is the operator not getting muddy pants. You're welcome, operator.
But wait, lest ye think this is just any stick, know that it can also be, a smaller stick, or a 65" stick.
Even better, Understanding that photographers generally only go hiking to play with tiny trucks, many camera bags have onboard storage for the U.N.S.T.U.C.
I'm selling them for $450 each, including shipping and lying about taxes to the government. A small price to pay for the device NASA astronauts use when they drive tiny trucks around their own yards.
Sadly though, my overpaid market research team tells me the common peseant can't afford $450 for a stick , so if you know someone who's a member of the downtrodden upper middle class (they can barely make the payments on their mistresses second Canadian family dogs helicopter lease, the poor souls!), they will need two things for their hackneyed DIY job:
1.
A Stick (technically a "common photography mono-pod", according to our intern, Greg. Shut up Greg) :
https://www.amazon.com/AmazonBasics...e=UTF8&qid=1521484818&sr=1-3&keywords=monopod
2.
A Hook made from the finest Japanese metal. "Japenisum" , I presume they call it:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000923HOA/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Of course, not being an authentic Aggressively Passive Industries U.N.S.T.U.C., It's lack of jewel encrusted unicorn horn handle will betray it's plebeian nature. I'm sure you'll make the right choice.
After millions in government bail outs, thousands of hours of device testing at the JPL, and paying off several law suits that concluded you totally can't prove this gives you cancer, Aggressively Passive Industries is finally ready to unveil:
A Stick:
Combined with a Hook:
yielding:
The Universal No-hands Stuck Truck Unstucking Contraption, or U.N.S.T.U.C., as our overpaid marketing team likes to call it.
Shown here: the U.N.S.T.U.C. is unstucking a truck that has been stuck. Not shown, is the operator not getting muddy pants. You're welcome, operator.
But wait, lest ye think this is just any stick, know that it can also be, a smaller stick, or a 65" stick.
Even better, Understanding that photographers generally only go hiking to play with tiny trucks, many camera bags have onboard storage for the U.N.S.T.U.C.
I'm selling them for $450 each, including shipping and lying about taxes to the government. A small price to pay for the device NASA astronauts use when they drive tiny trucks around their own yards.
Sadly though, my overpaid market research team tells me the common peseant can't afford $450 for a stick , so if you know someone who's a member of the downtrodden upper middle class (they can barely make the payments on their mistresses second Canadian family dogs helicopter lease, the poor souls!), they will need two things for their hackneyed DIY job:
1.
A Stick (technically a "common photography mono-pod", according to our intern, Greg. Shut up Greg) :
https://www.amazon.com/AmazonBasics...e=UTF8&qid=1521484818&sr=1-3&keywords=monopod
2.
A Hook made from the finest Japanese metal. "Japenisum" , I presume they call it:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000923HOA/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Of course, not being an authentic Aggressively Passive Industries U.N.S.T.U.C., It's lack of jewel encrusted unicorn horn handle will betray it's plebeian nature. I'm sure you'll make the right choice.
