Uses for birthday money???

[CmdrZod]

So my daughter turned 18 today and with any birthday she got some money. I found out this afternoon that she wants to use the money to buy a camera, which would be fine if that information didn't follow an e-mail from her not more than 4 days ago asking for help for college. :roll:

Long story short, I had my daughter out of wed lock at the age of 18. Her mother moved across the country 3 years after she was born and didn't maintain much contact with me. But since the advent of social media I have been able to attempt a reconnect with her and its very fragile. Well her mother got a letter from the county that we were living in 18 years ago stating that the child support was coming to an end on her 18th birthday.

Well 4 days ago my daughter ask for help with college, saying that shes going to have to get a job and she was hoping to use the child support that her mom was getting to help pay for tuition. I told her that I would be willing to help with what I can but I wasn't going to be simpithetic about about having to get a job. Now I see that she wants to use her birthday money to buy a camera instead of using the money to pay for books or school supplies or even towards tuition. Am I just over reacting or is there a valid bitch?

 

[The Violator]

I am not against a kid using gift money to buy themselves something nice. But maybe a gentle reminder that you will help out where you can, but the flat out child support was over ( that sounds like a ploy by mama to keep the money coming). I am not sure of your situation, but maybe offering help for school after the semester ends. The first one she needs to cover ( maybe with a little help, but not much) but after she passes some classes, you will step up the help with every passing class. Sort of a scholarship of sorts, but only if she passes. It might be the incentive she needs to buckle down and pass her classes.

 

[SINister]

I wouldn't worry about it much. Let her spend her birthday money on something she wants. Just be firm about how much help you are going to provide with tuition and what you expect from her in return. Birthday money is meant to be enjoyed anyway.

 

[Duuuuuuuude]

Look at the bright side, at least she's not using it to buy coke and hookers, which is what I was going to suggest until I found out you weren't going shopping for yourself.

Let her buy the camera, assist with the tuition if she can keep her grades up. If she can't, it'll be time for the Gravy Train to leave the station, minus one 18 yo passenger...

 

[SMR 510RR]

I have to agree with the others. I always say that presents should be something you wouldnt buy with your own money but you really want.

Come up with a plan with her to assist her with school, I doubt you will regret helping your kid get an education...Of course as the others have said make sure there are pre determined expectations on what she is supposed to accomplish in order to receive you help.

I do agree with you about her getting a job, it can only help her transition into a functional member of society as long as it doesnt get in the way of school.

 

[korn_2956]

Tell her to wait till the end of September, all the new cameras will be out and last years will be cheaper.

 

[punkfan]

Meh birthday money should be used for something she wants. As far as school base what you give her on her grades So you are paying for performance, and she has a motivation to get good grades. Example she shows you a report card with an A average you pay X amount of her tuition the next semester. She had a B average she gets X-y for the next semester.

 

[djjiz]

Did anybody say hooks and blow yet? If so.. They stole my answer.

 

[CmdrZod]

Thanks guys for the help and thanks Jizz for the comic relief! :lmao:

I kinda thought that I might have been over reaching a little bit and the idea to pay for performance never really crossed my mind.

Thanks again! "thumbsup"

 

[JohnRobHolmes]

I do agree with you about her getting a job, it can only help her transition into a functional member of society as long as it doesnt get in the way of school.

I agree here. I took one year off during my senior undergraduate and one year off during my masters (although Holmes Hobbies was still a lot of work) and it absolutely ruined my work ethic until I got back in the swing of things. I went straight from college to work (graduated friday, went to work monday), and it was a really hard transition from all the free time and bike riding to a structured 8 hour work day. Kinda screwed up my mojo for a few years.