Most Confidential

[dkingston]

Everyone has gotten these before. It has been a while since I have played with these guys and well, boredom set in this morning so I decided to play with a spammer.

Here is the message they sent:

Your Attention,

This note may come to you as a surprise. I am Steve Berth, the Chief
Auditor of a bank here in the UK and by virtue of my appointment, I am
privy to the most confidential and debated issue in the bank. It was
therefore in the course of our yearly overall assessments that the
recurrence of the particular account file was brought before me. I
have a business proposal for you. Do get back to me for more
information.

Steve Berth

Here is my first response to "Steve:"

Oh wonderful!

I always love an opportunity to make some extra money. I hope that is what this is about. Since I am a man of meager means, anything that would give me some extra money would make a huge difference in my life.

You said you were in the UK? I love all things UK for sure. Someday I hope to visit my ancestors from over the pond!

In all seriousness, I would like the more information you promised me.

DK

I will post the responses I get from them. Usually, they get pretty funny!


- David

[FrankyRizzo]

Usually a response just means the found a viable email to spam. Good luck getting off of the thousands of lists they are adding you to.

[constantmotion]

Originally Posted by FrankyRizzo

Usually a response just means the found a viable email to spam. Good luck getting off of the thousands of lists they are adding you to.

x2.....never respond to any SPAM

[badger]

I don't get spams like that. :-(

[RedNeck Rc]

The only spam I get are either enlarge your cock, or hot girls want you tonight!
Oh and Balls since we learned it wasnt censored.

[Brainstain]

I got that EXACT same spam the other day. The only reason I remember is that dumbass name. Steve Berth.

Does Cialis and Viagra not sell as well as everyone thinks it does?

[dkingston]

Originally Posted by FrankyRizzo

Usually a response just means the found a viable email to spam. Good luck getting off of the thousands of lists they are adding you to.

That email actually came to a bogus account here at work. IDGAF if they spam it more than they already do!

[ky_18b]

Originally Posted by badger

I don't get spams like that. :-(

What is your email address? I am Steve Berth, the Chief
Auditor of a bank here in the UK and by virtue of my appointment, I am
privy to the most confidential and debated issue in the bank. It was
therefore in the course of our yearly overall assessments that the
recurrence of the particular account file was brought before me. I
have a business proposal for you. Do get back to me for more
information.


Just kidding

[dkingston]

Here is the latest from my new business partner! Dood, I am stoked!

Dear Friend,

Thank you so much for your prompt response to my proposal. I came to know you in my search for a reliable,honest and reputable person in your country in whom I can repose great confidence. I have been well assured by a mutual associate of your trustworthiness hence I have taken the initiative to intimate you on a mutually beneficial business relationship. Let me introduce my myself again. I am STEVE BERTH, the Chief Auditor of a bank here in the UK and by virtue of my appointment, I am privy to the most confidential and debated issue in the bank. It was therefore in the course of our yearly overall assessments that the recurrence of the particular account file was brought before me.

Sometime in 2001, we lost one of our valued client in a plane crash on one of his regular trips outside the UK were he transacts some of his businesses. Most unfortunate though his death was a sad loose to most of us here in the bank as he is well known and liked as a result of his successful and consistent banking operations with us. However, since the death of late Mr. Michael Anderson, in 2001 no one has come forward for the claim of his personal lodgment with us which runs into (7.4M) Seven million four hundred thousand GBP. Efforts has been made to locate any of his close relative with his information he provided as the time of opening the account,but to no avail. This amount is presently in suspense account with the bank and if no claims put forward by a next of kin, the funds will be finally deposited in the government treasury as government funds. It is as a result of this, I deemed it necessary to contact you so we may collectively secure these funds for our benefits.

Please bear in mind. I have contacted you for two reasons:

One, the gentleman is a national of your country and secondly, I have to be assured of your honesty, hence I am rest assured that when the funds are eventually released to your benefit I shall have no fear of receiving my entitlements.

Foremost, for us to achieve this you will put forward an official claim for his deposit introducing your self as his next of kin with a mandate to secure his funds with us. With the service of a renowned attorney here in the UK,The approval of your claim will not be difficult to secure more so considering my involvement as I will furnish you with every required details to prove your authenticity.

I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and later alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let's share the blessing.If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion.I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences might be, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients.

At the successful procurement of the funds, you shall remit 60% of the total sum to my recommended accounts while you will retain the balance of 40% for your assistance. Please, you should immediately inform me through my above e-mail address so that I may further intimate you on how we may commence with outlined procedures to ensure the funds is safely release within the shortest possible time hence your soonest response will be most appreciated. While I wait to hear from you soon.

I remain Yours sincerely.

STEVE BERTH.

And my reply:

What a sad situation. I hope Mr. Michael Anderson didn't have a family left behind with no money.

I think I understand what you want me to do. I need to make the claim that I am kin to Mr. Michael Anderson and and claim his ill-gotten booty? I am ok with that and I understand how important this is to you.

The only thing I want to know is, does Mike (I feel like I know him already) have a family he left behind? I would really want them to have some of the money to get them through their lives. If so, can it be arranged that you give part of your money to his family? I would give up some of mine but I don't know how to get it to them.

Another question I have. Will I need to come to merry old England to finish this project? I would love to come there and this might be the best chance I have! Maybe when we are done with business we can have tea and crumpets on top of one of those double decker buses! WOW that would be fun!

So let me know what my next step is. I am excited that you trust me so much. Many people here in the US are not as trusting as you. I have always been an honest guy and I have spent my time helping out children in my community my whole life. Well, except for that 10 years I did in prison, I really thought she was over 16. That doesn't make me a bad person and you not want to trust me does it?

Ok let me know what I need to do next Steve. I am excited to be a part of this sneaky operation!

DK

I am sure there will be more to come!


- David

[hexlink]

I am thinking this is better than a soap opera, I can't wait for the next installment. Hahahaha

[Zardoz]

I love watching these. After this thing plays out you should send it to http://www.419eater.com/ There is some great ones on there. Check out the letters archive and the trophy room. There is pictures of people getting the scammers to take pictures of themselves doing stupid stuff, its hilarious.

[darkstar]

419eater.com is some CLASSIC stuff right there... good reading!

[Brainstain]

Originally Posted by dkingston

Well, except for that 10 years I did in prison, I really thought she was over 16. That doesn't make me a bad person and you not want to trust me does it?

I just damn near fell over. That's some funny shit right there.

[montana.matt]

[JohnRobHolmes]

I just downloaded a book on tape that was scammed from a scammer. The book worm deal on 419eater is pretty funny! 9 hours of recording the book!

[jason]

Originally Posted by dkingston

Maybe when we are done with business we can have tea and crumpets on top of one of those double decker buses! WOW that would be fun!

You seriously just made coke shoot out of my nose.


Asshole

[dkingston]

Originally Posted by jason

You seriously just made coke shoot out of my nose.

You know, being a child of the 70's and from what I remember....

the coke is supposed to go IN your nose.

Damn kids and their new-fangled ways of doing things

[Pooflinger1006]

Thats awesome, I like trying to keep telemarketers on teh phone for a while about 35 min. is my record

[rdtshaw]

Awesome. I was dying when I read this. I love to do this. I've been an IT guy for years and I have made many spammers and scammers my victims. Time wise anyway. I ALWAYS completely fill out the phishing websites with bogus info. I know the guy on the other end is going to try to use it at least once if not a bunch. My other favorite is the email I get when I put something on craigslist.com that the person is in the UK and they want to send their representative over with a cashiers check for more $ than the item I have so I can cash it and give them the difference. Like they want my super super rare collectors item of a '94 Acura Vigor... or my 52" rear projection TV... or my Nikon D100 camera(items I've sold on craigs list...). I have gotten 4 "fake" cashiers checks sent to me so far. I just don't respond after I get them. They get really nasty 'cause they know they only have 4 days or so for me to send out the money before my bank figures it out... I of course just toss 'em in the trash. But it warms my sole knowing I have wasted their time, pissed them off, and entertained myself... heh-heh Retribution for the hassle I have with spam managing 40-50 mail servers, thank god for Barracuda spam filter!!