signs the weekend ahead is going to suck (or be completely awesome) .

[ghtpdm5]

going to a tournament this weekend, 4 drunks and myself, the sober herder. i quit drinking, and for all the years of my drunken antics, i'm considering this karmic payback.

the group breakdown is:
1&2: the couple. usually these 2 behave in large groups, there have been incidents that i do worry about. i've seen the male of this group full on tackle a dishwasher when drunk, and the female is a pass out bandit. any seat becomes a bed.

3: the rouge. this one is unpredictable at best. actions range from sitting at the bar talking softly with his drink to hooking up with any female in sight. keeping this one in line will be a battle.

4: the cute girl. she's relatively safe when left alone, but can be a complete idiot when very drunk. safe bet is a fun party and her passing out on the floor.

now this may seem like a fairly easy herd to manage, but they wander. we're going to a downtown area with 6 bars in one block, i expect to hate all of them, give up, and go back to the room.

before that though is the tournament. we'll be playing games in the civic center arena, and though darts does bring the group together, i expect to be chasing after people before games.

to be prepared for any eventuality:

1: backpack. this is to keep all of their stuff together and also allow for sweatshirts, etc. it may weight 50lbs by the end of the day, but i won't be stuck tracking down a dart case at the end of the day.

2: enough tools and parts to make my own darts on the day of play. i'm fairly certain that someone will break something during the day.

3: the newest addition, a hog shocker. this looks roughly like a tradition stungun, but has a lower output. hurts like hell, but doesn't put you on the ground (yes i have tried it out). pretty much a persuader, just meant to make sure the drunk in question knows they have done something wrong. main fear is it falling into the wrong hands, but if they go and shock a security guard, i'm running.

so there's mine. i'm sure you guys have a few of those weekends where no amount of preparedness helps for the end result.

[jhtoy]

Hah!This made me chuckle.You sir are a good friend.I would keep an eye on #4 and let her get just buzzed enough and then swoop in for the kill.

[ghtpdm5]

Originally Posted by jhtoy

Hah!This made me chuckle.You sir are a good friend.I would keep an eye on #4 and let her get just buzzed enough and then swoop in for the kill.

well, keeping track of 4 will be a high priority during the day its a possibility, not counting on anything.

[Dostradamas]

Darts & drunks, sounds like a good time to me.
Two words............Eye Protection

I once worked with a guy in a warehouse that often pined of his "amazing" drinking shenanigans in the Navy (I've known a few squids & they can drink.)
After hearing the stories for months & getting an interview for a new job I just had to see Billy in action before I moved on.
Our crew planned the downtown barhop starting off from one of the guys apartments.
Billy showed up EARLY ready to rock, half gallon of HRD Vodka, (cheap a$$ $hit) & a half gallon of Crown Royal.
He handed the vodka off to the group & proceeded to uncap the crown then turned his shot glass upside down on the table, we all looked & commented. He assured us he was an expert & knew what he was doing. He then poured (with adept skill) 5-6 drops of crown on the backside of the shotglass & then SNORTED the Crown (5-6 drops for each nostril.) He then tipped it back and chugged 1/4 - 1/3 of the bottle Gene Wilder Blazing Saddles style.
A hush came over the room & we knew we were in for some fun.
Within the hour the half gallons were gone & Billy grabbed the empty half gallon & headed to the john & said "time to recycle."
Yes, he then came back with a frothy half bottle of his (probably 50 proof) urine, then tipped it back til gone in front of us all.
By the end of the night he was on the dance floor with a LG pitcher of beer in each hand (I had to beg & assure the staff we were walking & he would not break anything.)
When we left the last bar at last call he stripped to his socks & ran down Main st naked & yelling "Fawk the Police!!!"
I gathered his belongings & followed in pursuit. After a few blocks he lost interest & asked "have you ever seen the drinking fountain?"
I responded in the negative regrettably, Billy then began pissing, then aimed up & took some sips....
I was the sober one cause I had that job interview the next morning.
Drunks can be fun

[ghtpdm5]

Originally Posted by Dostradamas

Darts & drunks, sounds like a good time to me.
Two words............Eye Protection

way ahead of you. oakley gascans with clear prescription lenses are my everyday glasses. i'm not saying its past the realm of drunk voodoo, but it would be damn hard to throw a dart in my eye.

[AX10wannabe]

holy shit those stories were funny!!!!!!!!! hahahaha.. im a guy but i would classify myself in the #4 slot

[semnmrc]

Hope your not coming my way! My eyes aren't that great anyways

[OTHGbronco82]

My weekend will probably be xbox and some lotion.

[ghtpdm5]

Originally Posted by semnmrc

Hope your not coming my way! My eyes aren't that great anyways

headed north not east. if we were headed your way, i'd bring the crawler with.

Originally Posted by OTHGbronco82

My weekend will probably be xbox and some lotion.

not going to lie...pretty much every weekend for me...only with a bar full of idiots and darts mixed in too. one of these days my karmic debt to the drinking gods will be paid....

[The Violator]

Pile them all in an RV that breaks down every half hour and that was my last comp trip. I hate drunks, so I tend to say **** them, and do what I want to do. babysitting adults sucks. Bring a Sharpie and a phone camera and hope for a picture that will make its rounds on the internet.

I tend to wait until they pass out and then place my ball sack on them and then take the pics. It is a safe bet if you have passed out near me, my balls have been within the vicinity of your face, just depending on how limber I was at the time.

[JeremyH]

Originally Posted by The Violator

It is a safe bet if you have passed out near me, my balls have been within the vicinity of your face, just depending on how limber I was at the time.

Sometimes you don't even wait until they pass out...

[SINister]

Originally Posted by JeremyH

Sometimes you don't even wait until I pass out...

Fixed it for ya

[spookyseven]

I wish my weekend was that exiting. I did the monday through friday, left work last night at midnight and came back for more at 9:30am today. Can I go home yet?

[JeremyH]

Originally Posted by SINister

Fixed it for ya

Sorry, not me...and there's pictures that prove as such.

[JeremyH]

Originally Posted by spookyseven

Can I go home yet?

Sure! Tell them I said it was OK.

[The Violator]

Originally Posted by JeremyH

Sorry, not me...and there's pictures that prove as such.

My wife found the video, and needless to say she was not to happy with me pulling out my balls in a room with a dozen witnesses.

[4xFord]

Originally Posted by The Violator

My wife found the video, and needless to say she was not to happy with me pulling out my balls in a room with a dozen witnesses.

That was the worst thing she found on your phone.....Violater must be loosing his touch.

[ghtpdm5]

well, everything went to pot pretty quick.

first game was at 9am. last game ended around 2:45am. so a whole lot of shooting and way too many rockstars later, we were all about zombies.

i ended up turning into the team spirit, leading a 9 game streak that put us into first in class. another rockstar, then waited and realized that this was going to be a long damn haul. team drama and poor management from the staff lead to a small break...that effectively nuked our momentum. so, had to get the team back up. keep in mind i have extreme anxiety disorder and pretty destroyed joints.

first game after the break, i'm playing. i am b-rabbit. the crowd is going wild, the mic is being handed to me. this is my moment. i turn to my team-mate and say "race you to the bottom". the team we are playing have been playing together for years and open with a 65. not bad, but i open with a 130. my team-mate high-fives me, and proceeds to race me to the win. this tactic of playing a game within the game carries us until we hit a team that quite simply should not have been playing in our class. every single time they stepped up, they threw over 100. our first match loss in the tournament was at about 1am. we were tired, broken, and discouraged by the angels of death beside us. we took the next game, but were quickly destroyed by the same team.

surprisingly the drunks were well behaved, they were more concerned with the fact my shoulder was moving in a pretty funky manner, and that i was on heart meds and rockstar all day. at best they got a buzz. i was ready to rip the board to pieces after winning. adrenaline is one hell of a kick.

[Dostradamas]

Success!
Congrats.
My body does not like those rockstars (or any "energy" drink I have tried.)
I must depend on old reliable caffeine & calories (the only 2 food groups.)
Good job keeping the herd alive & charging them in for a win!

[ghtpdm5]

well, there was slim-pickings for the non-alcoholic folks. pay out the ass for water or pop, or just hit the rockstar and be good for a couple hours. we ate taco john's (this is always a calculated choice) so that covered the major caloric intake of the day. i hit the wall at 10p when i swore it was the last rockstar of the day. shortly after that, some of the others hit a wall and i was getting weird looks for cheering every shot every team we played. if the can't take some positive attitude and good sportsmanship, that is not my problem. for some odd reason teams did terrible after i started high-fiving their great shots, whatever all worked out and the phone bill is paid.