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Best movie quotes ever, EVER...

How much for the little girl? The women, how much for the women?

What?

Your women, I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your childrens!
 
"Texas, holy **** only 2 things come from Texas, steers and queers, and you don't look much like a steer to me. Do you suck ****? Bull$hit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose."
"You'd probably **** someone in the *** and not be so kind as to give them a reach-around."

Full Metal Jacket.
 
Last edited:
What?
Jules: What country are you from?
Brett: What? What? Wh - ?
Jules: "What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: English, mother*****er, do you speak it?
Brett: Yes! Yes!
Jules: Then you know what I'm sayin'!
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!
Brett: What?
Jules: Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you mother*****er, say what one more G*ddamn time!

Pulp Fiction rocks
i laugh my a** off everytime
 
...
Team America said:
See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fawk all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fawked by dicks. But dicks also fawk assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fawk the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pu$$y all covered in shit!
Click to expand...

Dogma said:
"I know they were just kids...but man we beat the **** out of them!"
Click to expand...
 
You know what they say: you can't teach a gay dog straight tricks... Chef - South Park
 
Man this is a cool Idea, I have three from my favorite movies, hope thats cool!

40 year old virgin:

We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says you gotta check out one of these shows. And... it's a woman f**kin' a horse. We get there and we think it's gonna be awesome and... it is not as cool as it sounds like it's gonna be. It's kinda gross.
You think "A woman f**kin' a horse" and you get there and... it's a woman f**king a horse.
I mean It was really giving it to her. And you know what? To be honest I just felt bad for her, we all just felt bad for her.
I kinda felt bad for the horse too!

Van Wilder:

Taj: I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant.
Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk.
Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that sh*t, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.

Office space:

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Micheal Bolton: Yeah, well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.
Micheal Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent a$$ clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Micheal Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
 
Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.



"what the **** is this?"
"obviously you're not a golfer"

So many good quotes from that movie
 
My cousin Vinny
[Vinny is trying to dress properly for a hunting trip]
Vinny: What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay? Ho!
Mona Lisa: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water...bam! A ****ing bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now, I ask ya, would you give a **** what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?!
Click to expand...

Not too many quick one liners in that movie, but damn is it funny.
 
A couple of good ones from the Mutant Chronicles...

<!-- begin TOP_RHS --><SCRIPT type=text/javascript> ad_utils.queue_ad('3','top_rhs');</SCRIPT>Severian: What do you believe in?
Maj. 'Mitch' Hunter: I don't get paid to believe, I get paid to fawk shit up.

Brother Samuel: Will you not recieve the sacrement?
Maj. 'Mitch' Hunter: I'm not hungry.
 
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