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Butt wiping material

There have been occasions on the building site when the "turtle head" was poking out, no other option but to use bits of ripped up cement bag. Then there's the urban / building site legend of the guy who used a bit of hydrated lime bag to wipe...

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Does a bec help to wipe easier? This is new to me, I might need to try this. How would you go about using a bec to wipe? Well I tried the lawn wiping and it was 50/50 for me, got some strange looks from the neighbors but once I explained to them why I was doing this, they decided to join also. Mine was a little rough, we have crab grass which is not the grass to use still a little sore, think I might have a few cuts down there. Kinda jealous of the neighbor, they had that lush green grass, might go over there tomorrow to try.

Key word in that last sentence.....had. If they joined you, their grass is by now starting to turn brown, as feces doesn't make good fertilizer.....well....at least dog shit doesn't.

Here's a thought, though. After you've done your business in the bathroom, go sit on a garden sprinkler.
 
Or do your dirty business and hop in the shower! That's my routine. Come home from work. Hit the throne. Hit the shower. Clean as a whistle! One thing is weird, though. When I go to my camp for like four days, which only has a rodent infested outhouse, I almost never shit the whole time! (When I'm at home its once a day at least) And we eat enormous amounts of fried and butter drenched food! It doesn't make any sense. It's as if my body goes into a protective mode or maybe I have a hidden mental block or something. Other guys who go experience the same phenomenon. As soon as my truck breaks my town limits, however, alarm systems in my bowels shoot to defcon ten......
 
I can't breathe. That's the funniest thing I've read in years. Why would anyone admit to this? Especially the stick of butter.
 
Man, you still don't have an answer? By now you could have tried every brand out there :ror:.

Still searching, been trying the alternative stuff first: grass, cement bag, socks, etc.... All with fairly good results, socks was alright, just got to make sure it isn't your last pair.......
Still trying to figure out how to use a bec with all this..........
 
Dont forget a good slathering of this afterward:
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