Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married!
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told
my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the
door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed
another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when
totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos
MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told
him "Midnight".
He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why?, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three times, then said, "Oh. CRAP ", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared
it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more,
and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
One more.
A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of
dollars to buy some food.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give
you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend
all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the
man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of
food?" the man asked.
"What diseases would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless
man. "I'm hungry, not stupid!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm
going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for
doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man
looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told
my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the
door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed
another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when
totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos
MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told
him "Midnight".
He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why?, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three times, then said, "Oh. CRAP ", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared
it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more,
and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
One more.
A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of
dollars to buy some food.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give
you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend
all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the
man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of
food?" the man asked.
"What diseases would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless
man. "I'm hungry, not stupid!"
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm
going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for
doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man
looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."
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