Dirty Joke

[JasonInAugusta]

A guy meets a good lookin' girl and asks her if she'll have sex with him for a million dollars.

"Of course!" the girl says.

So the guys asks "Would you have sex with me for five dollars?"

She gets upset, slaps the guy, and says "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

The guy doesn't skip a beat...












"I already know what kind of girl you are, now I'm just haggling on price"

 

[Jones323]

When I was younger I knew a girl with a seashell tattooed on the inside of her thigh. It was pretty realistic, too. I could put my ear up to it and smell the ocean

thats zweet!

 

[racerx]

This guy walks into a bar and goes up to the bar... he orders 12 shots right away. The bar tender asks him " What's the special occasion"? He say's to the bar tender "first Blow job".... The bar tender says ALRIGHT! 13th shot is on me!! The guy says "No thanks... If 12 don't get the taste out of my mouth nothin' will"!:lol::lol:

 

[resetpunk]

I got one

This dad says to his son, hey go run down to the doctor and get dads fun pills, son says ok! as hes runing he says "get dads fun pills, get dads fun pills", then he falls down and gets back up and says "get dads sex pills, get dads sex pills". Kid gets to doctor and said "I need my dads sex pills" doctor gives them to him and says to tell his dad to only take one every 24 ours, so the kid is runing back home saying "one every 24 hours" falls down gets up and says "take 24 every hour" he gets home and tells his dad to take 24 every hour.

A couple days later the doctor calls to check up and the kid answers and asks how the dad is doing, he replies "well my moms dead, my sisters pregnant, my butt hurts and my dads running around the house saying here kitty kitty kitty!"

LMAO!!!!!!!

This guy walks into a bar and goes up to the bar... he orders 12 shots right away. The bar tender asks him " What's the special occasion"? He say's to the bar tender "first Blow job".... The bar tender says ALRIGHT! 13th shot is on me!! The guy says "No thanks... If 12 don't get the taste out of my mouth nothin' will"!:lol::lol:

rofl!!! haha


i got another..

this man and woman are having sex..the guy goes in the bathroom takes the condom off and throws it out the window and comes back out and says "ok lets keep doing it"..she tells him "no not without a condom" so he sighs knowing that was his last condom puts his clothes back on and goes down stairs to find a little girl found the condom..he says "hey little girl can i have that?" the girl replies "no what is it?" the guy says "its a twinky" she tells him "50 cents and u can have it" the guys like "no 25 cents" the girls says "ok" she goes him and tell hers mom "mom i sold this guy a twinky, but i ripped him off i sucked out all the cream filling"

 

[racerx]

BARF!:shock:

 

[resetpunk]

lol

 

[Leprasol]

i got one that's pretty dirty...hope you'll understand my english;-)

A guy walks home from a bar and is pretty drunk. On the corner, he meets a hooker and decides to have some fun, so he tells her to go with him. She answers, that she can't, cause she has her time of the month (the word is period i think??). The guy says it's not a problem, so she walks with him to his house. They really do have some fun and the guy falls asleep. He wakes up in the morning with a terrible headache and starts to remember last night. It's kinda like: Yes...a bar...some drinks...yes...and then a girl...a hooker for sure...and we went here...and we surely had sex...but where is she?? After that, he sees a blood on the bed and blanket so he thinks to himself...oh crap i killed her...that's bad...but where's the body? So he starts searching around the house and finds nothing, finally he goes to look to the bathroom and there he sees himself in the mirror and he sazs quietly...Holy shit, I ate her!

 

[SLOB]

Simple one,



Why did the cave men drag the women by the hair?











If you drag them by the feet they fill up with sand.

 

[twisted]

i got one that's pretty dirty...hope you'll understand my english;-)

A guy walks home from a bar and is pretty drunk. On the corner, he meets a hooker and decides to have some fun, so he tells her to go with him. She answers, that she can't, cause she has her time of the month (the word is period i think??). The guy says it's not a problem, so she walks with him to his house. They really do have some fun and the guy falls asleep. He wakes up in the morning with a terrible headache and starts to remember last night. It's kinda like: Yes...a bar...some drinks...yes...and then a girl...a hooker for sure...and we went here...and we surely had sex...but where is she?? After that, he sees a blood on the bed and blanket so he thinks to himself...oh crap i killed her...that's bad...but where's the body? So he starts searching around the house and finds nothing, finally he goes to look to the bathroom and there he sees himself in the mirror and he sazs quietly...Holy shit, I ate her!

thats a good one.

 

[resetpunk]

i got one that's pretty dirty...hope you'll understand my english;-)

A guy walks home from a bar and is pretty drunk. On the corner, he meets a hooker and decides to have some fun, so he tells her to go with him. She answers, that she can't, cause she has her time of the month (the word is period i think??). The guy says it's not a problem, so she walks with him to his house. They really do have some fun and the guy falls asleep. He wakes up in the morning with a terrible headache and starts to remember last night. It's kinda like: Yes...a bar...some drinks...yes...and then a girl...a hooker for sure...and we went here...and we surely had sex...but where is she?? After that, he sees a blood on the bed and blanket so he thinks to himself...oh crap i killed her...that's bad...but where's the body? So he starts searching around the house and finds nothing, finally he goes to look to the bathroom and there he sees himself in the mirror and he sazs quietly...Holy shit, I ate her!

ewww thats "BARF" for sure...lol its funn tho