Nicely done. "thumbsup"
Everybodies got issues in one form or another. Besides, if you can't talk to strangers, who can you talk to? :mrgreen:
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How about anyone fighting depression
- Thread starter Rat1
- Start date
Nicely done. "thumbsup"
Everybodies got issues in one form or another. Besides, if you can't talk to strangers, who can you talk to? :mrgreen:
Well, I never thought I'd admit it in an open forum, but yeah, I've been there man. I've been in and out of depression for a long time now, currently, I'm doing pretty good. I've gotten my life turned around and have gotten myself to where I actually enjoy being around a crowd again. For those of you that haven't been there, that's a big deal. Here's my story though..
I have a brother that is Downs Syndrome, he's 2 years older than I am which puts him at 30 years old. I have the picture perfect family. We are all extremely close, would do anything for one another at the drop of a hat. We're all each others best friends.. Mom, Dad, brother, sister, and I are inseparable. I grew up in a well-to-do family, but had to pay my dues growing up. I had more given to me than most, but I was also taught why I needed to be humble about that. But still, somehow I wasn't happy with my life. The only thoughts that I could ever get through my head were as follows... "f*** my life, nobody understands where I come from, all they see is my parents made something of themselves, which makes me look like a f***ing snob to all the people I want to hang out with". Which, that thought was always followed by "Why the hell am I stressing about what others think about me, I have my morals, my (personal) reputation for being a nice person, and I have something that so many people don't. That being a stable, loving family."
Now, both of those thoughts literally beat the shit out of each other in my head for years and years. By that time, I'd been to a shrink, been prescribed zoloft a couple of different times, and had my balls busted by my friends and sister so many times I couldn't even begin to count. On top of that, all the sudden I started having panic attacks. I still have them, actually had one 2 days ago for no apparent reason whatsoever. I was at work, having a really good day, and all the sudden I felt my heart start hurting. Maybe 3 minutes later I was in a full out sweat soaked sprint through the plant to my car to get a Xanax (yes, it's prescription). It all adds and adds up. There is a breaking point. I've been there, and the breaking point you mentioned earlier DOES NOT have to be as severe as you might think it does.
What finally broke me out of my doldrums was the absolute simplest thing in the world. It was my brother. I've fought for him, bled for him, been punished for him at several times in my life. He's extremely high functioning, but fawk.. middle schoolers and high schoolers are just looking for popularity in the easiest means necessary. The shit I dealt with then for him.. It finally hit me one day when he and I were driving down the road. He was talking about 'back in the day', back in high school. The words out of his mouth were "Oh man.. I want to go back to GRC so bad, I loved it there" That hit me like a ton of bricks. How on Gods green earth could someone want to go back to the place that I saw so many people try to inflict pain upon that person just for laughs. How could someone not even give a shit, yes he remembers the assholes, but how could he not at least feel any disdain at all? That's when I figured it all out.
Such is life. He has not the first hateful bone in his body. All he wants in life is to love and be loved. Nothing more, nothing less. He will never ever forget a face or name, because that is what is important to him. And rightfully so, we should all be more like that. Life is so simple to him. He understands all the drama to an extent, but more or less chooses to ignore it. It's either a great day, or tomorrow will be better. I owe everything about who I have become today to him, he has taught me more than anyone in this world could about what I should and shouldn't let get me down.
Now this part is going to sound like a PSA, but you really ought to give it a shot. Go see if you can volunteer for a special needs group one day. Yeah, I won't lie, it will be really awkward for you at first, but give it an hour and I PROMISE you, there is no better feeling of helping these peope out... Start small, then re-introduce yourself to life brother!! "thumbsup"
I have a brother that is Downs Syndrome, he's 2 years older than I am which puts him at 30 years old. I have the picture perfect family. We are all extremely close, would do anything for one another at the drop of a hat. We're all each others best friends.. Mom, Dad, brother, sister, and I are inseparable. I grew up in a well-to-do family, but had to pay my dues growing up. I had more given to me than most, but I was also taught why I needed to be humble about that. But still, somehow I wasn't happy with my life. The only thoughts that I could ever get through my head were as follows... "f*** my life, nobody understands where I come from, all they see is my parents made something of themselves, which makes me look like a f***ing snob to all the people I want to hang out with". Which, that thought was always followed by "Why the hell am I stressing about what others think about me, I have my morals, my (personal) reputation for being a nice person, and I have something that so many people don't. That being a stable, loving family."
Now, both of those thoughts literally beat the shit out of each other in my head for years and years. By that time, I'd been to a shrink, been prescribed zoloft a couple of different times, and had my balls busted by my friends and sister so many times I couldn't even begin to count. On top of that, all the sudden I started having panic attacks. I still have them, actually had one 2 days ago for no apparent reason whatsoever. I was at work, having a really good day, and all the sudden I felt my heart start hurting. Maybe 3 minutes later I was in a full out sweat soaked sprint through the plant to my car to get a Xanax (yes, it's prescription). It all adds and adds up. There is a breaking point. I've been there, and the breaking point you mentioned earlier DOES NOT have to be as severe as you might think it does.
What finally broke me out of my doldrums was the absolute simplest thing in the world. It was my brother. I've fought for him, bled for him, been punished for him at several times in my life. He's extremely high functioning, but fawk.. middle schoolers and high schoolers are just looking for popularity in the easiest means necessary. The shit I dealt with then for him.. It finally hit me one day when he and I were driving down the road. He was talking about 'back in the day', back in high school. The words out of his mouth were "Oh man.. I want to go back to GRC so bad, I loved it there" That hit me like a ton of bricks. How on Gods green earth could someone want to go back to the place that I saw so many people try to inflict pain upon that person just for laughs. How could someone not even give a shit, yes he remembers the assholes, but how could he not at least feel any disdain at all? That's when I figured it all out.
Such is life. He has not the first hateful bone in his body. All he wants in life is to love and be loved. Nothing more, nothing less. He will never ever forget a face or name, because that is what is important to him. And rightfully so, we should all be more like that. Life is so simple to him. He understands all the drama to an extent, but more or less chooses to ignore it. It's either a great day, or tomorrow will be better. I owe everything about who I have become today to him, he has taught me more than anyone in this world could about what I should and shouldn't let get me down.
Now this part is going to sound like a PSA, but you really ought to give it a shot. Go see if you can volunteer for a special needs group one day. Yeah, I won't lie, it will be really awkward for you at first, but give it an hour and I PROMISE you, there is no better feeling of helping these peope out... Start small, then re-introduce yourself to life brother!! "thumbsup"
rugerboy
Quarry Creeper
Now this part is going to sound like a PSA, but you really ought to give it a shot. Go see if you can volunteer for a special needs group one day. Yeah, I won't lie, it will be really awkward for you at first, but give it an hour and I PROMISE you, there is no better feeling of helping these peope out... Start small, then re-introduce yourself to life brother!! "thumbsup"[/QUOTE]
You make a very good point. Our jeep club used to put on an Easter seals run every summer. We would shuttle crippled children into a little lake about a 13 mile trip one way. They stayed for a week then back out for another group for 6 weeks. That was such a good thing for them and us. ALL the kids (teens) cared about was who's jeep they were going to ride in and if they could stay longer. Have you ever seen a kid paralyzed from the waste down DIVE out the window of a tour bus.... and crawl across a parking lot in July just so he could ride in THAT jeep.
Sadly the owner of the property died and his money hungry kids sold the property and denied us access to the lake....
In short life is only as bad as we let it be brother. Ive been there too, and some times you need to step back and look at the good and simple thing and go with it. Things will get better.
You make a very good point. Our jeep club used to put on an Easter seals run every summer. We would shuttle crippled children into a little lake about a 13 mile trip one way. They stayed for a week then back out for another group for 6 weeks. That was such a good thing for them and us. ALL the kids (teens) cared about was who's jeep they were going to ride in and if they could stay longer. Have you ever seen a kid paralyzed from the waste down DIVE out the window of a tour bus.... and crawl across a parking lot in July just so he could ride in THAT jeep.
Sadly the owner of the property died and his money hungry kids sold the property and denied us access to the lake....
In short life is only as bad as we let it be brother. Ive been there too, and some times you need to step back and look at the good and simple thing and go with it. Things will get better.
ericinMD
Quarry Creeper
BTW Rat1, obviously if you read this you know I'm not stable enough to do you much good. But... If you like to hold the colt and contemplate your situation I would see about maybe keeping your firearms at a friend or relatives for now. I started keeping all my guns at my dads a couple of years ago because honestly I don't know how far i'll go if I have a bad enough day.
Just know you ain't alone brother and there's more of us out there that feel the way you do. And you're right, people don't understand. Some really don't care, but many like my wife do care and I think she just feels so helpless because she doesn't know what to do for me.
Hang in there, you'll be in my thoughts.
Just know you ain't alone brother and there's more of us out there that feel the way you do. And you're right, people don't understand. Some really don't care, but many like my wife do care and I think she just feels so helpless because she doesn't know what to do for me.
Hang in there, you'll be in my thoughts.
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solomon7
Rock Crawler
Great suggestion rugerboy. If you're even slightly financially stable or blessed, you can do SO much good for so many in this world. Special Needs kids have such a pure spirit, it can't help but lift you up once you get used to it!
On a side note, one of my climbing buddies was over 300 pounds at only 5'8" and he started climbing at 44. He's 47 now and weighs just over 190, toned and much happier because of the increase in health and energy.
A climbing rope will hold 3000lbs, Top Roped, you don't fall more than a few inches. Like a friend said "If you can go up the stairs you can top rope"
The response you've gotten here should show how much you mean to all your brothers and sisters on this rock. Your family is just that, your family, and your wife is your mate. She needs to take a role in your recovery even if she is "tired of hearing about it". She doesn't mean that I'm sure. What she means is it hurts her to see you hurting, but she feels helpless to help you so she pushes it away. Just an emotional survival tactic people don't even know they're doing.
Do you have a spiritual foundation? Doesn't have to be a religion but we ARE here for a reason, all of us.
Shot in the dark, but is it possible your career is part ofrelated to your depression? I as only because it's easy for so many to let 20 years go by doing something unfulfilling but financially lucrative, without realizing it.
That's what your supposed to do right? Work, save, have kids, work, save work, save; then one day you look up and half your life has gone by with the same thing every day. variety is the spice of life though.
Feeling trapped, useless or anything like that is a symbol you need to make major changes to your lifestyle.
Do what YOU want to do. Not what anyone wants you to do or be. LIVE for yourself, love yourself, and try something entirely new each day. Make a plan for it even if it's only a different route to work, or trying a different nationality of food all 3 meals each day.
Someone already said it, but YOGA. It's amazing stuff and you're energy levels jump after a few weeks. Even find sites on the web if there's no classes near you. It's good excersise, tones and repatterns body and thinking proceeses, and has been known by many to "fix broken tools" as well!.
This may sound cheesy to some but my spirit forces me to say this. I honestly do have 2 more suggestions for you and please, please take these seriously and with an open mind. Please
1. If money is an issue on this, know that Your life is at stake here, man so sell the bike if you have to but TAKE A WALKABOUT or a spirit quest, whatever.
Drop everything and go to the place you always wanted to go when you were a child or a place that matches you "quiet place" in your mind (we all have one). Spend some time there meet people and just let happen what happens NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. No rules no schedule, just LIVE and chill
It has led many to their true purpose and a true sense of fulfillment.
2. Please don't take this like it's coming from a stoner, it's not seriously, but I have seen- and in my youth (after my brother was killed and my mother died and my dad left) experienced firsthand - how a plant has lifted spriits and, when used CORRECTLY with a medicinal and therapeutic intent, not recreational, can really help depression and even cure it as it did me and my wife years ago (You only take real medicine till you're well).
You only live once and would be a total fool NOT to try ANY alternative chance to help you no matter what it is. Beside it won't hurt you, and has virtually no side illl side effects.
Seriously , it may even help.
Seriously how many millions have experience that "F**k It" feeling fade with this? It's not and escape at all. It's still there, but you can get a handle on it and see it's nature from a more objective perspective. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees. Gotta climb up higher!
You've tried the "white man's " western treatments from his medical "practice".
Have they worked??? I'm not suprised really:? Didn't work for me, my wife or anyone we know except one guy who isn't AS depressed now, but acts more like he's on heroin than scrips.........
Try the other thousands of years of every other culture"s medicine:idea:. It and many other herbal remedies are still widely used to treat depression and other illnesses elsewhere in the world with great success. There's a reason He made it grow everywhere. Ever wonder why a sober hippy is still smiling:idea::mrgreen::idea:???
A purpose for all things and all people. Find your true one brother. Blessings and peace to you in these times.:idea::idea::idea::idea: So many have fought so hard for the gift of life and lost. Don't throw it away.
Keep as cool as you can. Face piles and piles of trials with smiles....and keep on keeping on.
On a side note, one of my climbing buddies was over 300 pounds at only 5'8" and he started climbing at 44. He's 47 now and weighs just over 190, toned and much happier because of the increase in health and energy.
A climbing rope will hold 3000lbs, Top Roped, you don't fall more than a few inches. Like a friend said "If you can go up the stairs you can top rope"
The response you've gotten here should show how much you mean to all your brothers and sisters on this rock. Your family is just that, your family, and your wife is your mate. She needs to take a role in your recovery even if she is "tired of hearing about it". She doesn't mean that I'm sure. What she means is it hurts her to see you hurting, but she feels helpless to help you so she pushes it away. Just an emotional survival tactic people don't even know they're doing.
Do you have a spiritual foundation? Doesn't have to be a religion but we ARE here for a reason, all of us.
Shot in the dark, but is it possible your career is part ofrelated to your depression? I as only because it's easy for so many to let 20 years go by doing something unfulfilling but financially lucrative, without realizing it.
That's what your supposed to do right? Work, save, have kids, work, save work, save; then one day you look up and half your life has gone by with the same thing every day. variety is the spice of life though.
Feeling trapped, useless or anything like that is a symbol you need to make major changes to your lifestyle.
Do what YOU want to do. Not what anyone wants you to do or be. LIVE for yourself, love yourself, and try something entirely new each day. Make a plan for it even if it's only a different route to work, or trying a different nationality of food all 3 meals each day.
Someone already said it, but YOGA. It's amazing stuff and you're energy levels jump after a few weeks. Even find sites on the web if there's no classes near you. It's good excersise, tones and repatterns body and thinking proceeses, and has been known by many to "fix broken tools" as well!.
This may sound cheesy to some but my spirit forces me to say this. I honestly do have 2 more suggestions for you and please, please take these seriously and with an open mind. Please
1. If money is an issue on this, know that Your life is at stake here, man so sell the bike if you have to but TAKE A WALKABOUT or a spirit quest, whatever.
Drop everything and go to the place you always wanted to go when you were a child or a place that matches you "quiet place" in your mind (we all have one). Spend some time there meet people and just let happen what happens NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. No rules no schedule, just LIVE and chill
It has led many to their true purpose and a true sense of fulfillment.
2. Please don't take this like it's coming from a stoner, it's not seriously, but I have seen- and in my youth (after my brother was killed and my mother died and my dad left) experienced firsthand - how a plant has lifted spriits and, when used CORRECTLY with a medicinal and therapeutic intent, not recreational, can really help depression and even cure it as it did me and my wife years ago (You only take real medicine till you're well).
You only live once and would be a total fool NOT to try ANY alternative chance to help you no matter what it is. Beside it won't hurt you, and has virtually no side illl side effects.
Seriously , it may even help.
Seriously how many millions have experience that "F**k It" feeling fade with this? It's not and escape at all. It's still there, but you can get a handle on it and see it's nature from a more objective perspective. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees. Gotta climb up higher!
You've tried the "white man's " western treatments from his medical "practice".
Have they worked??? I'm not suprised really:? Didn't work for me, my wife or anyone we know except one guy who isn't AS depressed now, but acts more like he's on heroin than scrips.........
Try the other thousands of years of every other culture"s medicine:idea:. It and many other herbal remedies are still widely used to treat depression and other illnesses elsewhere in the world with great success. There's a reason He made it grow everywhere. Ever wonder why a sober hippy is still smiling:idea::mrgreen::idea:???
A purpose for all things and all people. Find your true one brother. Blessings and peace to you in these times.:idea::idea::idea::idea: So many have fought so hard for the gift of life and lost. Don't throw it away.
Keep as cool as you can. Face piles and piles of trials with smiles....and keep on keeping on.
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Our son has Down Syndrome he may only be 2.5 however these children have pure love. Their love heals so many people. My son can smile and light up everyone. Laughter also heals and at 2.5 he is the biggest comedian around. So definetly volunteering to do things with these children will definetly heal you and make you smile and laugh.
"thumbsup"
Rat1
Quarry Creeper
All I can say is WOW. We have our own support group right here at RCC.
Thanks for all the posts and thoughts.
solomon7, As far as the herb, Can't do that. used to as a highschooler but had to stop that and alcohol due to another problem with chemical dependency. Add to that, I hold a Class A CDL liscence and drive a semi for a living. Company does random drug screenings. Well I don't think it is random because I have been picked to pee in a cup that last 3 quarters.
Thanks for all the posts and thoughts.
solomon7, As far as the herb, Can't do that. used to as a highschooler but had to stop that and alcohol due to another problem with chemical dependency. Add to that, I hold a Class A CDL liscence and drive a semi for a living. Company does random drug screenings. Well I don't think it is random because I have been picked to pee in a cup that last 3 quarters.
It really is the greatest thing that ever happened to any of us. Often times I'll tell someone that my brother is Downs. Their immediate response is the "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that..." I just look at them funny and say "Why? It's truly a blessing to have him just as he is, and he's the happiest guy in the world!!"
TOYUTAH
Quarry Creeper
Been there too man... all I can say is try to look at the finer things in life, like I'm guessing you have all your limbs? Your eye sight? A home and family? Think about all those people that don't and it will help you realize just how lucky you are to even take every breath you take of this free american air! I learned that there is no point in being depressed and wasting our short life not happy and enjoying every minute of it! Cheer up man, you're not alone
Depression sucks, I know what your going through. One thing that helps me is that you push forward even though you have no desire to do a damm thing! You said you bent up some material??? Get the job done!!! Even if it seems like the last thing you want to do, do it. When your finished, you fought the depression and won. It is a small victory but a victory none the less. I also go through this BS on a daily bassis and fight to accomplish even the smallest things. Trust me, you'll be just a bit happier when you finish something you started. Also, you mentioned you have a baby?? It helped me just to sit in a dark room holding my child and talking to him. When there are that small they know nothing but to eat, sleep and poop, but they have the ability to heal any internal problems that you might have. Bond with your baby and that make you want to fight for that next day. My boys got me through some tough times. And I also read you have a loaded gun in the house??????? GET THAT FAWKING THING OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!!!! What if you do "IT"??? What if your two other kids find you after you "DO IT"???? Thing about the deep scars you will leave with them!!!! Just push on and fight the good fight. You have everything to live for, and your family need you. Good luck and PM us if you have something to vent!
One thing if I may correct you...I dont say our son is downs...I say my son has ...Down Syndrome as it does not define him. He is Blake first...and the down syndrome is just an extra chromosome on the T21. So he's not downs he is Blake...just happens to have an extra chromosome. He's genetically enhanced in my eyes.
I know its just a technicality however I make a point to everyone to see Blake as Blake not as Down Syndrome.
He is also high functioning and other than the outside features you would never know.
Here is a pics of my cutie...."Blake"
ONe of my favorites...is his Bevis n Butthead Impression...
I hope that one makes Rat laugh!
"I am cornholio...I need TP for my Bumhole....."
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JeremyH
I wanna be Dave
He's a cut kid Michele!
Made u smile n laugh"thumbsup"
JeremyH
I wanna be Dave
Haha....you bet! Kids are the best! I cant get over how happy my boy is all of the time....I wish I was still that way.
Me too... "thumbsup"
gregrocks90046
RCC Addict
i think lots of people have, including myself. but it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
solomon7
Rock Crawler
:shock: Ooh! Didn't know you drive for a living! Forget I even mentioned it. Thee are still many other medicinal herbs that could help. Medical grade ($$) essential oils, often taken internally can help too.
Ya can still do the walkabout though"thumbsup".....good for the soul to wander a little....
Get into guns. Not like you said you were, but i mean.....blow shit up! It's always fun watching shit blow up. Try getting a big gun and take a trip to the gun range. I can't really suggest much of anything, but just do some fun stuff with buddies. Go to the gun range, go camping, try something extreme, like skydiving or something."thumbsup"
LumTheMad
Hell's Gnome
Got depression real bad here too. I don't talk about it to anyone I know, they don't understand what it is to be depressed. I take meds for it, but all it does is take the edge off of it. Money isn't really an issue. I guess it doesn't help that I hate people. I would rather be by myself and rely completely on myself than have to rely on other people. I have thought about ending it all and the arguement of you will hurt the people that love you is a thin one at best, because there life moves on, their hurt will heal, they will get over it. I try to look for a goal to shoot for, bad choice of words, but there isn't much past; existing, going to work at a job I hate with a passion. What do I do for fun? Wish I knew. I have 13 crawlers and other assorted rc stuff and I feel so stupid being seen playing with them outside that I have only ever really used 1 or 2 outside. I think I build a hell of a crawler, but I will never know for sure. I have seen a therapist when I was 10-12 years old, and looking back the guy was to dumb to pickup on the fact that I was depressed then too. I'm 38 years old and have been married for 5 years. My wife is the one that got me to go to the doctor for meds. I did it for her. I have friends but none that are close. Sorry that I have no words of encouragement for you man, its dificult enough just trying to keep myself going. Sorry.
Ahh, I'm not the only one.
I understand how it is to be like that. Last summer was my worst.
Best way to get some relief was to talk to some one who would listen, and talk to you and understood what you were going through.. It's the worst feeling there is.
I understand how it is to be like that. Last summer was my worst.
Best way to get some relief was to talk to some one who would listen, and talk to you and understood what you were going through.. It's the worst feeling there is.
