Damn I love this forum. Matt the reason I'm going with the 9 is that my wife likes the feel and can handle shooting it for extended times. Thank you all for the info I am going to have to go back to the range and shoot a few more guns before we come up with one we both like so far she really likes the glock 17 so we will go from there.
Thanks again Derek
Heres my 2 cents. Feel is everything. If it isnt comfortable in the hand, you wont shoot well with it. Thats a big problem for LEOs, one gun doesnt fit all hands. Smaller men and women have run into this problem with the Glock often. Just using that a a real-life example. To be honest, I think Glocks feel like crap! The 2x4 comparison sounds right to me, BUT, I dont have to buy it or shoot it. If the Glock fits both of your hands, and is comfortable for both of you, then that may be the weapon.
I assume this weapon will have some self-defense purpose, as the average handgun is not purely a range gun, unless you are looking at a .22, or you have a race gun.
10mm and 357sig are good rounds, but are not the most common, and are a bit more expensive.
Revolvers are great. A GP100 357mag from Ruger would be a great weapon. You can plink all day long with 38special, and then use 38sp +p, or 357mag for home defense. The 357 mag has the best "one shot drop" record of all of the self defense rounds. 96%+ chance that an assailant shot 1x in the chest with a 125gr jacketed 357mag hollow point, is not going to be getting back up. Considering most self defense shooting take place in about 15ft, one may not want to, or be able to get in that 2nd shot. A key benefit to a revolver is simplicity. If the SHTF, you arent playing with levers, or slides, etc.
If 6 rounds seems like not enough (it really isnt, its placement and caliber - but its also psychological for the owner), then a revolver is out.
I would avoid compacts, unless you are going to carry. Women often complain its too heavy, then they fire it, and understand why you told them it was heavy, but, then again, you dont want it to be a lead brick.
Controls are an issue too. Do you want a true manual safety? Do you want to be able to do fast tactical mag changes, instead of always having to grab the slide to re-load the weapon. Make sure your wife can comfortable reach any controls, and still keep the weapon pointed directly in front of her - no tilting or angling of to the side. Make sure she doesnt have trouble racking the slide.
Be sure to try the 38sp, 357mag, 40cal, and 45acp at the range.
The wife will probably stay with the 9mm. It is not the best protection round, but controlling the weapon, being comfortable, and accurate, is the most important thing. Plus, target ammo wont break the bank.
My recommendation would be the Beretta 92. Thats what I got my wife - a nice Inox. She can reach everything, it has a decocker, a safety, can start battery in DA or SA, is easy to rack the slide, and has an extended slide release. Really hard to jam one of these too. To me slide catches suck. One should be able to pop that new mag in, and release the slide, with the hand holding the gun - all this while the gun is still pointed forward. Personally, I would also avoid guns that will not freely drop a mag, or will not fire if the mag is removed.
Last, finish may matter. If the gun is going to be exposed to the elements for extended periods of time, S.S. is the only way to go. If its for hunting or protection outside in addition to the other stuff, the last thing you want to have to worry about is the guns finish, or ability to function because the weather or environmental conditions are less than friendly.
