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You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If...

TheScaleAddict

TheScaleAddict

RCC Addict
Joined
Oct 14, 2011
Messages
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Location
Crawlerado
This is a satirical thread... Keep it light and funny... PLEASE! :shock:

All you have to do is copy the text "You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If..." and list off your 'funnies' below it. Pretty simple concept. Let's see how y'all do. ;-)


You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If....

  1. You wipe and flush BEFORE you sit down.
  2. You look at parents with young children with empathy.
  3. You are neither surprised or disgusted when your son(s) pee...
    1. Off of the back porch
    2. In the front yard
    3. On your living room floor
    4. In their little brothers 'frog potty'
    5. In the cat box
    6. On your car
    7. In their bed
    8. In your bed
    9. On each other
    10. In the tub
    11. Standing up at the toilet (it should be noted that they aren't quite tall enough...)
  4. You aren't surprised, and you don't feel bad telling them to eat it anyway when they declare they hate what they have to eat, which includes anything that IS NOT sweet, and some things that are sweet.


That should get the ball rolling. I need a good laugh. Hook a brother up! :ror:
 
You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If....

Silence is not something you enjoy......:twisted: Because it means they are doing something they shouldnt be!:twisted:
 
You might be the parent of a toddler if...

you've ever smiled and said it's ok when someone pukes on you.
you know what times spongebob is on without looking at the TV guide.
you realize landmines are pointless when a well placed littlest pet shop can bring a grown man to his knees.
you can't remember the last time you went to a movie with a rating higher then G.
 
You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If...
You eat the rest of half eaten sandwiches, half eaten string cheese, half eaten bananas, etc., etc.
You don't go OUT to eat.
You've had to explain the importance of wearing pants in public. My (now) 9 year old's nickname was Chief Crazy No-Pants. If we didn't actually have him in our sights, his pants were off.
 
...if you have to explain to others that it's normal for your children to be naked, and that they are lucky that your kiddos have their undies on (in their presence), and that (believe it or not) you dress them every morning, and that they rip their clothes off the instant that you look away.
 
...you know that nothing can compare to the entertainment value of a box of Cheerios.

...youve stopped asking 'what's that smell'.

...anything valuable in your house is at least 3' up from the floor.
 
...if it takes you 30 minutes to find a certain part for your crawler on the floor...and you are pleased that it didnt take longer.
 
...you routinely find objects in your home, coated with layers of sticky and small finger prints.
...you have lost all hope of owning a clean vehicle.
 
...you have your own Dr. Doofenshmirtz shirt
...you cannot stand Disney, but can sing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme forwards and backwards
...the rear windows of your vehicle are opaque, and there's an aquariums worth of goldfish crackers hidden in the backseat.
...you've come to accept the level of random mess that is your house at all times.
...you've ever spent 15 minutes explaining WHY (insert random topic here)
 
SINister said:
You might be the parent of a toddler if...

you realize landmines are pointless when a well placed littlest pet shop can bring a grown man to his knees.
Click to expand...
been there done that. Those pointy little Ears...

You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If....

You constantly hear the words: Fart, Poop and butt followed by the sound of laughter or giggles...
 
You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If...

when entering a room where there is a knocked over baby gate and silence. More terrifying than the raptor pen in Jurassic park.
 
You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If....

There are handprints around your house below waist height
The back seat of your truck is sticky
You have lost the will to live
You wish someone would take them away sometimes
You breath a deep sigh of relief when you know they're sleeping
You wish they would stop picking up your tools when you doing stuff
You love seeing your parents so you can palm them off for a while
You know that whatever you're eating is never truly yours
You start paying more attention to where you've put things around the house
You think "a whislte was a bad idea"
You wonder what the fascination with icecream is all about
You wonder why the said icecream always has to be spilled
You wonder if the icecream will come out of your mothers persian rug
Or off the car seat
Or if it will come off the car window after sitting in the sun for a day
 
YOU MIGHT BE THE PARENTS OF TODDLER(S) IF

....your living room regularly looks like a Toys R Us threw up in it.

....decorating your Christmas tree takes 3 hours and most of the ornaments end up about waist high.

....you have one of those dang Elf On A Shelf figures you have to try and remember to move before you leave for work.

....you have almost ruined a perfectly good pair of underwear trying to open a toilet lid lock in a hurry.
 
You Might Be The Parent Of A Toddler If....

you've silently cussed friends/family for giving a present that makes noise or playdoh.
you've plotted to steal a toy because it was scale.
you realize the door knob is sticky more often then your own:cry:
 
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