Murphy’s Laws For Prison Guards

[run2jeepn]

Most of these will go for any job. Pretty funny and true...

Murphy’s Laws For Prison Guards

1. You are not Superman.

2. Murphy was an optimist.

3. If it’s stupid, but works, then it’s not stupid, stupid.

4. If it’s stupid and doesn’t work, it’s most likely Policy.

5. The logical way of doing things violates Policy.

6. The important things are always simple.

7. The simple things are always hard.

8. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

9. Experience is something you don’t get until after you need it.

10. No riot-ready institution has ever passed a Program Review.

11. No Program Review-ready institution ever passed a riot.

12. If you are short of everything except convicts, you are in a riot.

13. No riot plan survives initial contact with the inmates.

14. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

15. Teamwork is a lot of people doing what the warden says.

16. Teamwork is essential. It gives the captain other people to yell at.

17. Doing the right thing is no excuse for not meeting the scheduled deadlines.

18. The project you are working on is so important, you can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.

19. Communication is a real problem, but the administration is not going to discuss it with the employees.

20. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

21. Success always occurs in private, but failure occurs in public.

22. Your radio will fail as soon as you desperately need anything.

23. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

24. If you have a 50-50 chance, there is a 90% chance you will be wrong.

25. Always keep an exact list of specific unknown problems you will encounter.

26. No one will believe you solved a problem in one day, so go act busy for a few days until it’s time to tell them.

27. Anything and everything you do can get you in trouble, including doing nothing.

[chrisjlittle]

The main one for the corporate world:

[BJoe]

Boy, most of those would work for retail too.