RCCrawler Forums

cheapjeep2 · 12-21-2005, 01:50 PM

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this
is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

WHAT?!

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either!

4u2nv · 12-21-2005, 01:59 PM

LMAO............Thats great. That's the best thing I've read on here in a long time.

BENDER · 12-21-2005, 01:59 PM

LMAO!! You're officially cut off Troy!!

Good stuff!!

PinchFlat · 12-21-2005, 02:02 PM

Excellent

RodyRazorBackc5 · 12-21-2005, 02:05 PM

That was awsome dude ! I thought I would of got a lil when I got her a new car but then the indefinite words came pouring out her lips " I have my . " I said "What the Fcuk I just bought you a $38,000 car for just being the best thing in my life and I can't even get a lil 1 on 1 with you " mean while I was having this "discussion" in the line waiting for HER car to come back from getting the final detailing done. Needless to say I still surfed the red sea that night from behind (of course)and was very happy with my gift the next morning........................................... ...............Dual 42'' Phillips flat screen Plasma's.

I don't think I could of went through all that with my girl like what you did I would be laughing my a$$ off the whole time. Great story man and you did a good thing for all man .

bulletproofcustoms · 12-21-2005, 02:08 PM

Yea for someone that is married you sure arent a wise person

I can see it now silent treatment all the way home LMAO and slleping in the garage

thats some funny ****

braceysdad · 12-21-2005, 02:20 PM

If you really want to seal the deal tell her she can't cut you off and that she is just missing her turn in the rotation

TwistedCreations · 12-21-2005, 02:43 PM

LMFAO.. that's good

cheapjeep2 · 12-21-2005, 02:48 PM

Yea when I read that I was LMAO as well, I acutally got it from a co-worker but I think we've all been there at one point. It was too funny to not share.

1BadJeepBruiser · 12-21-2005, 03:02 PM

I salute you mr. I tell my chick how it is and I dont give a rats *** about the consequences!!! LMAO dude that is some serious funny ****, I dont think I would have big enuff balls to pull that off.

Mike

Madcratebuilder · 12-21-2005, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheapjeep2

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either!

Not tonight, not tomorrow night, not next week. Maybe next month.
That was great.

Unimoger · 12-21-2005, 03:57 PM

good stuff, that is funny shiat....

Crawlsalot · 12-21-2005, 04:56 PM

i wasnt expecting that. very funny

AdamF · 12-21-2005, 06:00 PM

Freakin' hillarious!

polyophio · 12-21-2005, 06:03 PM

that's ****ing hilarious. I would be headed for divorce court if that was me.

RIPPER357 · 12-21-2005, 09:57 PM

Funny beyond all words! Even if I had the sack to do that (and I KNOW I'm not the only one), theres no way I'd be able to keep a straight face.
Oh, and I'd unload her .45 before we left the house... and all mine too just to be safe.

I'm still laughing!

JasonInAugusta · 12-21-2005, 10:22 PM

You guys wanna know how to make your wife scream during sex?

Call her up and tell her where you are.

12-21-2005, 01:50 PM	#1
cheapjeep2 Rock Crawler Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Driving the Troysion Stick up the BIG BOY line! Posts: 958	Just hold me.... I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep... The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?! I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either!

12-21-2005, 03:02 PM	#10
1BadJeepBruiser Sinking with the ship Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: El Capitan...sole survivor and sinking fast Posts: 8,864	damn I salute you mr. I tell my chick how it is and I dont give a rats * about the consequences!!! LMAO dude that is some serious funny **, I dont think I would have big enuff balls to pull that off. Mike

12-21-2005, 01:59 PM	#2
4u2nv RCC Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Minnesota Posts: 1,516	LMAO............Thats great. That's the best thing I've read on here in a long time.

12-21-2005, 01:59 PM	#3
BENDER 2006 2.2 National Champ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Big Bear Lake Posts: 8,328	LMAO!! You're officially cut off Troy!! Good stuff!!

12-21-2005, 02:02 PM	#4
PinchFlat Say hello to my dactylion Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: On the Boat to Whore Island Posts: 4,470	Excellent

12-21-2005, 02:05 PM	#5
RodyRazorBackc5 Pebble Pounder Join Date: May 2005 Location: United States Of America Posts: 157	That was awsome dude ! I thought I would of got a lil when I got her a new car but then the indefinite words came pouring out her lips " I have my . " I said "What the Fcuk I just bought you a $38,000 car for just being the best thing in my life and I can't even get a lil 1 on 1 with you " mean while I was having this "discussion" in the line waiting for HER car to come back from getting the final detailing done. Needless to say I still surfed the red sea that night from behind (of course)and was very happy with my gift the next morning........................................... ...............Dual 42'' Phillips flat screen Plasma's. I don't think I could of went through all that with my girl like what you did I would be laughing my a$$ off the whole time. Great story man and you did a good thing for all man .

12-21-2005, 02:08 PM	#6
bulletproofcustoms Quarry Creeper Join Date: May 2004 Location: Boobslando, florida Posts: 323	Yea for someone that is married you sure arent a wise person I can see it now silent treatment all the way home LMAO and slleping in the garage thats some funny ****

12-21-2005, 02:20 PM	#7
braceysdad Adilynsdad too! Join Date: May 2004 Location: G ville Posts: 8,844	If you really want to seal the deal tell her she can't cut you off and that she is just missing her turn in the rotation

12-21-2005, 02:43 PM	#8
TwistedCreations Colt Python/SR9c Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: out in the shop, reloading ammo! Posts: 8,626	LMFAO.. that's good

12-21-2005, 02:48 PM	#9
cheapjeep2 Rock Crawler Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Driving the Troysion Stick up the BIG BOY line! Posts: 958	Yea when I read that I was LMAO as well, I acutally got it from a co-worker but I think we've all been there at one point. It was too funny to not share.

12-21-2005, 03:57 PM	#12
Unimoger I wanna be Dave Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: G6'N Posts: 7,391	good stuff, that is funny shiat....

12-21-2005, 04:56 PM	#13
Crawlsalot Rock Crawler Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: wyckoff, NJ Posts: 639	i wasnt expecting that. very funny

Sponsored Links

12-21-2005, 06:00 PM	#14
AdamF RCC Addict Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Cincinnati Ohio Posts: 1,673	Freakin' hillarious!

12-21-2005, 06:03 PM	#15
polyophio Quarry Creeper Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Wheeling Posts: 279	that's ****ing hilarious. I would be headed for divorce court if that was me.

12-21-2005, 09:57 PM	#16
RIPPER357 Newbie Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Anchorage Posts: 43	Funny beyond all words! Even if I had the sack to do that (and I KNOW I'm not the only one), theres no way I'd be able to keep a straight face. Oh, and I'd unload her .45 before we left the house... and all mine too just to be safe. I'm still laughing!

12-21-2005, 10:22 PM	#17
JasonInAugusta 06 Super National Champ Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Stark Industries Bar and Grill Posts: 11,361	You guys wanna know how to make your wife scream during sex? Call her up and tell her where you are.

RCCrawler Forums

Thread: Just hold me....