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kris · 07-28-2006, 07:39 PM

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct
......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Scattman · 07-28-2006, 07:42 PM

Now thats funny!

slobin3d · 07-28-2006, 07:53 PM

swamp_rat · 07-28-2006, 09:16 PM

now thats the best

slowrockr · 07-28-2006, 11:09 PM

MGS511 · 07-28-2006, 11:18 PM

x2 wow dident see that coming

ColquittCustom405 · 07-28-2006, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MGS511

x2 wow dident see that coming

Floyd you need to have sex with a girl (Palmula does'nt count) before you can understand these "Adult" jokes.

Mad Scientist · 07-29-2006, 09:49 AM

That last paragraph is a little different than the actual version -

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic, and will not freeze.

Funny, though.

That's a clever kid, right there.

07-28-2006, 07:39 PM	#1
kris RCCRAWLER TEAM DRIVER Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Voiding warranties Posts: 418	Hell explained HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

07-28-2006, 07:42 PM	#2
Scattman Official Cook of the ECC Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Hawthorne, Florida Posts: 2,653	Now thats funny!

07-28-2006, 07:53 PM	#3
slobin3d I'm a stupid C U N T! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In the Garage! Posts: 4,307

07-28-2006, 09:16 PM	#4
swamp_rat Quarry Creeper Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: boondocks Posts: 253	now thats the best

07-28-2006, 11:09 PM	#5
slowrockr I wanna be Dave Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Under the 4444 Posts: 2,345

07-28-2006, 11:18 PM	#6
MGS511 Quarry Creeper Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 355	x2 wow dident see that coming

07-29-2006, 09:49 AM	#8
Mad Scientist RCC Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Saginaw Posts: 1,721	That last paragraph is a little different than the actual version - So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic, and will not freeze. Funny, though. That's a clever kid, right there.

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