how do you sign your credit card ????............

[bob1961]

I'm talking bout those swipe machines with the touch screen, you love this one ....

Over the past 6 months, I have been playing a fun game with my credit card company. The game finally backfired on me today and led me through the most hilarious moment of my life. Most people would have been embarrassed, but me, I'm a little twisted, so I laughed all the way through it like an ass hole.

With any story, there is a setup process. Here is the setup to this story. About 6 months ago, I was making a purchase with my credit card and when I went to sign the electronic signature machine, it was broken. By broken, I mean that when I touched the pen to the machine, it went crazy and didn't look anything like my signature. It looked like a drunk 4 year old signed my name for me. It accepted the signature without any problems. So this really made me wonder what I could do to give my credit card company something to laugh about. I mean, they obviously don't review the signatures since they never called me or declined a purchase. For ****s sake, it could have been a stolen card.

I started out modest by signing with a line or an "X". Occasionally I would do last name first. After a couple of months, I became bolder. I wrote goofy ****, drew pictures, etc. Here's a list of some of my favorite signatures over the past few months:

I AM NOT KINGPIN

I STOLE THIS

**** OFF

**** YOU

WALMART SUCKS

CALL ME

CROTCHY CROTCHINGTON

MY BALLS ITCH

911

I'M A CRIMINAL

THANKS FOR THE STUFF

Today at Walmart I went the extra mile. When it came time to sign my name, a thought popped in my head. I should draw a picture. But what picture should I draw? I smirked as something completely juvenile came to me. This is a rough drawing of the signature that I provided:



insert penis drawing here


Yes, I know, it's not my best artwork, but I didn't have the time to be elaborate with the drawing. I had to look like I was providing a signature. Right after I hit "OK", there was a pause. The register then said "COMPARE SIGNATURE ON SLIP TO CARD." One thought popped in my head: "OH *!"

It then printed the receipt and there in black and white was my drawing of cock and balls. The lady at the register didn't immediately look at it. She asked for the card. I handed her the card and she flipped it over. Then she brought up the receipt and she smirked, but then took a stern tone and said "These signatures don't match."

At this point I was in tears from trying to hold back my laughter. I tried to explain to her why I had done it, but it didn't matter. I probably didn't make sense as I laughed hysterically through the explanation. She then paged the manager and I erupted in laughter. The guy behind me in line got a glimpse of my signature on the receipt and began laughing. The manager comes up and the woman from the register begins whispering to him. I then hear a few words "he drew a penis..." as she holds up the receipt. The manager blurts out a short laugh and then controls it. He turns to me and I'm out of breath from laughing and I'm still giggling like a schoolgirl.

Manager: Sir, your signature...heh...umm...doesn't match the signature on your card.
Me: I know and there is a good reason for that.
Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.
**The guy behind me bursts into laughter.**
Me: Yeah, I didn't think this would happen. I've been trying to see how far I could go with my signature before the credit card company did something about it.
Manager: I guess you learned your lesson.
Me: Yeah, the credit card doesn't accept penis.
**The guy behind me now can't stop laughing.**
Manager: OK, I'm going to decline the signature and have you sign it again.
Me: Fair enough.
Manager: This time, really sign it.

So I had to sign it again and they wouldn't let me keep my artwork. Those bastards. I had single handedly broken up the monotony of their daily routine and given them something that they will be talking about for years to come and they wouldn't let me keep it. They will tell their grandchildren about the guy that drew cock and balls as his credit card signature.

So I have a plan now. I'm going to get a new credit card and sign the back with my cock and balls drawing. Then I will consistently use that as the signature. That way, if I ever get caught in the same situation, the signatures will match. That will really **** with them.

[EeePee]

Nice Bob! You found something actually funny!

[bob1961]

now come on, you LOL with some of my other stuff as well ....

[Corrupt]

LOL! Thanks for the laugh

-Corrupt

[EeePee]

If laughing at your expense counts, then yes I do.

[BJoe]

I'm sure that will be talked about for years to come, I might see it next time credit card signatures pop up on the Retail comic strip site.





Of course, they'll be talking about the smartass prick who drew their own self portrait when signing for his C.C. purchase and wasting company time that could have been used more constructively.........like for helping customers

[bob1961]

oh come on now ....what bout those PM's saying how funny that shit was I just posted, that you had a REP to protect and not to let the cat outta da bag ....

[Ohioskills]

i do this when i sign for UPS or Fedex

[bob1961]

oh joe ya know you want to do this next time at the store ....

[bob1961]

Originally Posted by bob1961

oh come on now ....what bout those PM's saying how funny that shit was I just posted, that you had a REP to protect and not to let the cat outta da bag ....

oh my I'm sooo sorry I let the cat outta da bag ....

[EeePee]

Quote yourself? I though only I did that.

What? Me? I just searched my 4087 most recent PMs and none has your name on it.

Nor do I know what you're talking about with a REP and a cat.

[crazy nick]

Holy shit is that funny right there!!

[BJoe]

Originally Posted by bob1961

oh joe ya know you want to do this next time at the store ....

I'd be the one on the other side of that counter Bob

[wings_of_fire]

Originally Posted by EeePee

I just searched my 4087 most recent PMs

You are a busy man!

[BigSki]

I usually just roll my eyes when I read most of your posts, but this one literally had me laughing so hard I had tears rolling out of my eyes. "you drew a penis on my credit card machine."

[Hunter711]

Originally Posted by EeePee

Quote yourself? I "though" only I did that.

Check your spelling. Geesh, and you say I can't spell .

[bob1961]

Originally Posted by EeePee

Nice Bob! You found something actually funny!

but yet you did not click the like button ....

[gearhead79]

oh man that was good.thanks for the laugh!!!

[MCW24]

good laugh

[THX_138]

Ha! Thanks for the laugh!!

I am not sure what the laws are where you are, but the last I was told here in Massachusetts, you are allowed to use whatever name you wish, (and or a symbol) and as many as you wish....
Was told as many alias's as you want to have, just so long as you are NOT doing it to attempt to defraud the state or government.

So... With that in mind, I guess you can legally be Mr. Cock & Balls here in the great state of Massachusetts!





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