dont know what to do... wife related

[jetboat]

Heres the basics...

wifes been very distant for a couple months, hiding her phone when txting, answering every question with "nothing". She works allot of overtime (pay check says she is really there). This weekend she is driving so she asks me to use her phone to send a txt to her sister. I had great timing because she got a txt from a coworker at the same time. Before she yanked the phone away i saw enough to know something was up. Last night i got my daughter to bring me mommies phone. I read the txt and basically he wants her to leave me. He says that even though he has had 3 failed marriages he knows god brought them together for a reason.

i confronted her about it and she said she told him she wasnt ready to leave me yet. And thats all she would say.

i found the scum bag on her facebook, good fat ass christian, list his church right at the top of his page (same chain store church she goes to different city).

Ive been pissed and depressed all day. I dont know what I should do or think.

[johnnyh66]

Talk to a lawyer before she does.
"not ready to leave yet" is not a good place to be man... yes it sucks, but life goes on.

[STANG KILLA SS]

yep, don't drag it out.
sucks and hurts, but no need to make it worse.
get out, be free.

[WHITE-TRASH]

Yup first stop is lawyerville. She's already mentally gone and for a woman there is no coming back.

[taco08jk]

Well speaking from experience( my first 2 both left me for other men) I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but she said " not ready to leave you yet" to me that means she's already got one foot out the door. My advice is get a REALLY good lawyer, it will be damn near impossible to get full custody of your little girl. I hate to hear your going through this man.

[badhoopty]

it aint him man... its her.

sounds like shes already moved a little on and its just a matter of time.

RIGHT NOW is the time to look at your relationship and maybe yourself and see if theres anything you have done, or havent done, that would make her heart move away from you.

and if its something that you dont feel you contributed too, maybe its best she goes away so you can find the right person who will stick around.

its tough man... i have dripped soldering flux in my eye thinking it was visine, and i'd much rather feel that pain again over getting heartache. i did read a little while ago that pain killers can actually relieve heartache a bit. so pop some bayer and see if you cant make things right by having an honest and civil discussion.

[johnnyh66]

it'd be hard to not call him out in front of his church... but that probably won't help your case.

[BigSki]

"yet"?? and she won't talk to you about it? Her mind is made up, she's just working out the details. It sucks and it's gonna hurt, just prepare yourself for it and try to keep your kid(s) out of it as much as possible. Separate and close any joint acc'ts and find an attorney.

[Dostradamas]

Indeed sad to hear sir.

She has made her decision and has began grooming her back up to become the primary.

Damage control

Get to the lawyer ASAP

Be very careful, the law is set up to send you to jail while she decides how things will be.

You can navigate this if you keep your head and figure out what her true motivation is (women are generally after security.)

One blow up and call to 911 and your whole life could go down the toilet.

Get a room, an attorney, and get filing.
She has proven completely untrustworthy.
I would not sleep in the same house with her again (I am a paranoid SOB)

COVER THY ASS

[Crank]

Just went through it my man, almost the same story.
It didn't take me long to figure out that nothing could save it, so like
Johnny666 said I was first to a lawyer.
My kids were from my first marriage and I know that makes it much harder.

I repeatedly told her at first she could come back anytime and we could work it out.
Now a few months later, I'm starting to enjoy doing what ever i want when I want.
Do I still miss her? Well after 12 years I will say hell yes, but it's getting easier everyday.
My advice is if you do split up stay away from any social media trying to keep tabs on her and what she is doing, it will only bring you down, trust me I know.
I was so sick of people telling me it gets easier because I was different, but they were right.

[WHITE-TRASH]

Originally Posted by johnnyh66

it'd be hard to not call him out in front of his church... but that probably won't help your case.

I would absolutely expose him for what he is. Would I want to beat his ass? Sure but i wouldn't because it would hurt my case. A calm chat with his pastor would make me feel better though.


Also do not move out of the house! Treat her like a roommate but don't bad mouth her in front of your daughter.

[jetboat]

I ran to the parts store just as i knew she would be getting home to buy myself time... now im home and i cant even look at her.

[MCW24]

wow you guys sure all about the relationships, if you love her and think their is still a chance i would go for counciling. it worked for the wife and i. we've been very happy since we went and talked out are issues, did it suck sure did almost punched the chick in her face. but now we don't talk the way we did to each other and now i can express myself with out going into a blind rage. if you think its done then go and beat the living shit out of ole churchy boy

just my 2 cents

[sally1800]

Maybe just maybe nothing has happen yet.. Maybe this guy is trying to talk her into this. Maybe

Talk to her as civil as you can. I'm sure this might be hard but you do have a lot of year together.

Might be worth a try for your family.

[Dostradamas]

Originally Posted by jetboat

I ran to the parts store just as i knew she would be getting home to buy myself time... now im home and i cant even look at her.

What do you want?

You want her to stay and work it out?

Do you think it is already over?

[DickyT]

Originally Posted by jetboat

wasn't ready to leave me yet.

Get a lawyer, file, and get out of that marriage asap.

Not yet? then when...

And yeah, you have every right to be pissed off, but don't do anything stupid.

There is always the counseling route, but with words like YET being thrown around, if it were me, I'd be out...

[Dostradamas]

Good luck.

If you have a child keep focused on what is important, the child.

My ex was more concerned about her life than our child's well being.

I survived turmoil that surely would have landed me in jail or dead because I had to keep it together for the kid.

Very tough times ahead. Stay strong & focused.
Keep control

[Krakker]

Outing the douche to his churched pastor would help. Let him know you know and you want your wife. See how they treat him, maybe he'll start seeing the evil of his ways and back out himself. It will show you mean business if it goes to court. Wont make a difference, but still.

[bob1961]

"I'm not ready yet" could be she is seeing what she can get from you, yeah sucks but women are just that way....been married twice and not gonna find out if the 3rd time is really a charm ....go for a no falt divorce ....

[The Violator]

empty the bank accounts, hide anything good you do not want her to have, and hire the biggest scumbag lawyer you can find.