Surviving the clown uprising

[Sr.Irie]

This tutorial was made to help all survive in these scary and trying times. I have survived the vampire take over and the zombie apocalypse (most recently) just to name a few. If I can help just one person with this tutorial survive a clown attack, then it will be worth it.

We will start with knowing are enemy, Clowns.
Being a person who liked clowns until these dark times we are in now. I know a little something about the enemy we are facing. There weakness, there faults, things we may use to are advantage. There noses and love of color are the ones we will being focusing on today.

The nose.
If a clown sees a big stupid brightly colored flower they must smell it, usually resulting in water in the face or a big red glove hitting them. Also many clowns explode when hit in the nose hard enough. Knowing this can help in sticky close combat situations. But you end up with pieces and matter on you. So we will be doing this from a distance.

Love of color
Clowns really love color, obviously. We will be using this more of a camouflage today. There is no way to blend in with them better then to ware bright colors. Usually big bold patterns that do not match and fit poorly, fashion since is not there strong suit.

Parts needed:

Weapon
Today I am using a good old work horse 870 wingmaster. Had it left over from the zombie apocalypse but you can use your weapon of choice, or what you have lying around. Maybe that stake that has been sitting in the closet since Edward was around.

Big stupid Flower
Now this is key. We will be using this to draw them in so the bigger the brighter the better. If your using a gun as I am you will want a flower with a hole in it. So the projectile can exit the weapon without loosing your flower, or it is just a one shot deal. When your waste deep in red shoes and polka dots your going to want more shots than one.

Bright colors
You need some sort of brightly colored ribbon, raping paper, cloth or some of that new fancy colored duct tape. It just needs to camouflage the weapon so you do not arouse any suspicions of what is in store. Have fun here use what you have around the house. Get the kids evolved it can be a family project.

Assembly
Assembly is very strait forward flower on the end and camo it up the best you can. Paying close attention to the auction and moving parts, also think about heat. When your rattling of rounds the barrel will be hot. You do not want something binding or catching afire in the middle of a clown attack.
Here are some pictures of mine made with just things laying around the house, (to help the imaginationally challenged). If nothing else this project gives your family piece of mind in this trying time.




See you all out there and do not forget your cotton candy and swirly straws.

[Dostradamas]

Ween said it best.



Dance clown, dance.

[NoobCrawler]

I survived Y2K...I think I can handle clowns.

[BUBBA069]

in case embed doesn't work https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CsvdaIlWYAAMFJc.jpg:large

[Peaker]

Just dont vote for their leader, and they will soon be gone.

[travis c.]

Originally Posted by Peaker

Just dont vote for their leader, and they will soon be gone.

Unfortunately whichever way we vote, we are still voting for their leader.

[Sr.Irie]

Originally Posted by Peaker

Just dont vote for their leader, and they will soon be gone.

With the candidates we have to choose from your going to have to be more specific.

[BJoe]

If you guys don't mind me quoting myself here.............

Originally Posted by BJoe

You know, I was just watching some of a "haunting" show and realized something............




Would it really be wise to kill a clown? After all, you might be haunted by a pissed off clown ghost for the rest of your days, and it's not like you can use a gun against a ghost

[hpiguy]

Maybe we should just waterboard the clowns then, but do it with a huge version of one of those squirting flowers they're so fond of?

[Sr.Irie]

Originally Posted by BJoe

You know, I was just watching some of a "haunting" show and realized something............




Would it really be wise to kill a clown? After all, you might be haunted by a pissed off clown ghost for the rest of your days, and it's not like you can use a gun against a ghost

Now your just being ludicrous , clowns do not have souls.

That could work out to be cool anyway, as I said I like clowns generally

[BJoe]

Originally Posted by Sr.Irie

Now your just being ludicrous , clowns do not have souls.

That could work out to be cool anyway, as I said I like clowns generally

I think it would be quite funny, dead clown showing up in mirrors, windows, as shadowy figures in the night and/or fog, maybe pointing a finger at the guilty......actually, that could make for an awesomely bad horror movie

[Sr.Irie]

I would watch it. As for day to day life, it sure would be more interesting.

[BigSki]

Lets hope the clown ghosts don't get WT's truck..

[BJoe]

Originally Posted by Sr.Irie

I would watch it. As for day to day life, it sure would be more interesting.

True, watching the haunted gradually melt down day after day, week after week..........wonder if they would even last a month?!

[Sr.Irie]

Originally Posted by BigSki

Lets hope the clown ghosts don't get WT's truck..

I remember watching that movie

Bring it on, I have a rather large truck as well.