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12-21-2007, 01:58 AM
| #1 |
| Rock Crawler Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Nor*Cal
Posts: 663
|  If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly..... Deer Senta, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa ******************* ********************************** Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his a$$ constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays? I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the a$$es of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one? Love, Timmy Dear Timmy, That whiney begging sh** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa ************************************************** ** Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house. How do yo u get into our home? Love, Marky Dear Mark, First stop callling yourself 'Marky', that's why you're getting your a$$ whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa Last edited by Echodawg; 12-21-2007 at 02:00 AM. |
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12-21-2007, 06:46 AM
| #2 |
| I wanna be Dave Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: clarksburg
Posts: 2,009
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I dont know what to say? ,,,, , , ,,,,,VERY DISTURBING?!><:"@#$%^&*(){}|
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12-21-2007, 07:05 AM
| #3 |
| Pebble Pounder Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Viva Your Mom!!
Posts: 167
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i like the marky one,lol
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12-21-2007, 07:15 AM
| #4 |
| Powered by Awesome   Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Parker, Colorado
Posts: 3,622
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eh eh eh... "like a screen door in a hurricane".. thats some good stuff....
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12-21-2007, 01:25 PM
| #5 |
| Rock Crawler Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: White Lake
Posts: 764
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That made my day today.
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12-21-2007, 04:08 PM
| #6 |
| I wanna be Dave Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando
Posts: 7,420
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Low budget porno films!.......
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12-21-2007, 04:18 PM
| #7 |
| Quarry Creeper Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: VARCOR
Posts: 466
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OMG, I was rolling on the floor, great stuff...
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12-21-2007, 04:49 PM
| #8 |
| I wanna be Dave Join Date: May 2006 Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 3,377
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Dear Santa, Please have Rudolph drop a turd on Echodawg. Love, Thor |
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12-21-2007, 05:39 PM
| #9 |
| varcor.org   Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: 757
Posts: 1,073
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that was freaking awesome!!! LMAO...
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12-21-2007, 07:23 PM
| #10 |
| I wanna be Dave Join Date: May 2007 Location: Taylors Falls just hanging with the MNRCRC crew.
Posts: 7,843
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That's a very funny posting you must be a comedy writer on strike.
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12-22-2007, 07:58 AM
| #11 | |
| Pebble Pounder Join Date: May 2007 Location: South Africa
Posts: 142
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Linear Mode
