canadianbacon
RCC Addict
Clerks 2: said:
Clerks 2 said:
Clerks 2 said:
Man, this movie is funny as hell.
-
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Best movie quotes ever, EVER...
- Thread starter braceysdad
- Start date
Man, this movie is funny as hell.
Tony Montana: In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.
Tony Montana: I never ****ed anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand?
Tony Montana: I never ****ed anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand?
A Bronx Tale:
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero 'C' Anello: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero 'C' Anello: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
Goodfellas Quote
"Funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to ****en' amuse you? How da **** am I funny? What da **** is so funny about me? Tell me... More »
"Funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to ****en' amuse you? How da **** am I funny? What da **** is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny."
"Funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to ****en' amuse you? How da **** am I funny? What da **** is so funny about me? Tell me... More »
"Funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to ****en' amuse you? How da **** am I funny? What da **** is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny."
CreepyCrawl
I wanna be Dave
Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
Lloyd: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano...I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling, Lloyd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Harry: I can't believe it.
Lloyd: Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, the next minute you're dead meat.
Harry: But he blamed me. You heard him. Those were his last words.
Lloyd: Not if you count the gurgling sound.
Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
Lloyd: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano...I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling, Lloyd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Harry: I can't believe it.
Lloyd: Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, the next minute you're dead meat.
Harry: But he blamed me. You heard him. Those were his last words.
Lloyd: Not if you count the gurgling sound.
"Where all the white women at?" - Blazing Saddles
t_kirl
Been there, done that
Top Three:
1.Turkish: Fawk me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
2. Tom: There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses.
3.Farva: Say car Ram-Rod.
1.Turkish: Fawk me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
2. Tom: There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses.
3.Farva: Say car Ram-Rod.
TattooKenny
Who's your Daddy-0!
"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti" (Silence of the Lambs)
"Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"Brian: Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Dasz ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.
Kenny Davis: That's it?
Thurgood Jenkins: Yeah, get me that thing we used to eat back in the day? It came in a box. What was it............ oh yeah, pusy!" (Half Baked)
"Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"Brian: Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Dasz ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.
Kenny Davis: That's it?
Thurgood Jenkins: Yeah, get me that thing we used to eat back in the day? It came in a box. What was it............ oh yeah, pusy!" (Half Baked)
rtousley
Quarry Creeper
Army of Darkness
<HR width="30%"> Duke Henry: You Sir, are not one of my vassals... who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.
Ash: Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
The Boondock Saints
Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day, we will spill their blood till it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal, these are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil, we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three. And on that day, you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.
[Murphy and Conner join II Duce behind Yakavetta]
Connor, Murphy, Il Duce: And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
Il Duce: In nomine Patri.
Connor: Et Fili.
Murphy: Spiritus Sancti.
Paul Smecker: Now, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing.
Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.
Donna: God.
Rayvie: What?
Donna: Why?
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.
can't wait for the second saints to be released
<HR width="30%"> Duke Henry: You Sir, are not one of my vassals... who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.
Ash: Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
The Boondock Saints
Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day, we will spill their blood till it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal, these are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil, we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three. And on that day, you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.
[Murphy and Conner join II Duce behind Yakavetta]
Connor, Murphy, Il Duce: And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
Il Duce: In nomine Patri.
Connor: Et Fili.
Murphy: Spiritus Sancti.
Paul Smecker: Now, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing.
Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.
Donna: God.
Rayvie: What?
Donna: Why?
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.
can't wait for the second saints to be released
team3six
www.team3sixrc.com
Simpsons movie quotes.
Homer Simpson: Spiderpig, Spiderpig, Does whatever a spiderpig does.
Can he swing - from a web - No he can't, he's a pig.
Look out! He is the Spiderpig!
Ned Flanders: <Q>Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield. Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky!</Q>
Bart Simpson: <Q>Oh yeah.</Q>
Marge: What's the point of going to church every Sunday if someone we love has a genuine religious experience we ignore it? Right Grandpa?
Grandpa: I want bananas on my waffles!
Cheif Wiggums: Sorry, no dumping in the lake.
Fat Tony: Fine. I'll just take my yard trimmings into a car compacter.
Eddie: Sir, I think there was a dead body in there.
Cheif Wiggums: Yeah, I thought that too, until he said 'yard trimmings'. You gotta learn to listen.
Homer Simpson: Spiderpig, Spiderpig, Does whatever a spiderpig does.
Can he swing - from a web - No he can't, he's a pig.
Look out! He is the Spiderpig!
Ned Flanders: <Q>Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield. Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky!</Q>
Bart Simpson: <Q>Oh yeah.</Q>
Marge: What's the point of going to church every Sunday if someone we love has a genuine religious experience we ignore it? Right Grandpa?
Grandpa: I want bananas on my waffles!
Cheif Wiggums: Sorry, no dumping in the lake.
Fat Tony: Fine. I'll just take my yard trimmings into a car compacter.
Eddie: Sir, I think there was a dead body in there.
Cheif Wiggums: Yeah, I thought that too, until he said 'yard trimmings'. You gotta learn to listen.
Super
Rock Crawler
Happy Gilmore:
Could you get me a warm glass of milk? It helps me to sleep.
You could ask me for a warm glass of shut the hell up! You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. You're in my world now grandma.
Could you get me a warm glass of milk? It helps me to sleep.
You could ask me for a warm glass of shut the hell up! You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. You're in my world now grandma.
Tupers
Rock Crawler
Life of Brian:
Brian's mother: He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
-----------------
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, **** off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we **** off, O Lord?
-----------------
Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.
The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in crowd: I'm not...
The Crowd: Sch!
-----------------
Brian?s mother: What star sign is he?
Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
Brian?s mother: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man #1: King of the Jews.
Brian?s mother: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man #3: No, no, that's just him.
Brian?s mother: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
-----------------
Brian: What will they do to me?
Ben the Prisoner: Oh you'll probably get away with crucifixion.
Brian: CRUCIFIXION?
Ben the Prisoner: Yeah, first offense.
Brian's mother: He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
-----------------
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, **** off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we **** off, O Lord?
-----------------
Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.
The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in crowd: I'm not...
The Crowd: Sch!
-----------------
Brian?s mother: What star sign is he?
Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
Brian?s mother: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man #1: King of the Jews.
Brian?s mother: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man #3: No, no, that's just him.
Brian?s mother: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
-----------------
Brian: What will they do to me?
Ben the Prisoner: Oh you'll probably get away with crucifixion.
Brian: CRUCIFIXION?
Ben the Prisoner: Yeah, first offense.
CreepyCrawl
I wanna be Dave
Whether you dig British comedy or not, that right there, is one of the funniest scenes in film history.
Thanks for the good laugh to start my day "thumbsup"
STEEL_CITY_CRAWLER
RCC Addict
Dante Hicks: Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!
jetboat
I wanna be Dave
This is my BOOM stick...
Jeckler
Rock Crawler
The Princess Bride:
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
A Christmas Story:
Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
Mr. Parker: Oh, yeah
Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Anyone: You'll shoot your eye out kid!
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
A Christmas Story:
Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
Mr. Parker: Oh, yeah
Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Anyone: You'll shoot your eye out kid!
wrx-n-ktm
Rock Crawler
"I came here to do two things, kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum,"
Rowdy Roddy Piper from the classic movie They Live
Rowdy Roddy Piper from the classic movie They Live