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Best movie quotes ever, EVER...

Boondock Saints:

Ivan Checkov: I am Ivan Checkov, and you will be closing now.
Murphy: Checkov? Well, this here's McCoy. We find a Spock, we got us an away team.

Rocco: ****in'- What the ****in'. ****. Who the **** ****ed this ****ing... How did you two ****ing ****s...
[shouts]
Rocco: ****!
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

Donna: You killed my... my...
Rocco: Your what?
Donna: My...
Rocco: Your ****in' what? Huh? Your what, bitch?
Rocco: [puts gun to his own head] I'll shoot myself in the head, you can tell me that cat's name! Go ahead! Your what? Your precious, little...
Donna: Skippy! Skippy!
Rocco: Oh, Jesus! What color was it, bitch?
Rayvie: Don't you ****ing yell at her like that you prick!
Rocco: [turns gun on Rayvie] Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you ****ed!

Snatch:

Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell ***** and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old *****, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no ***** here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns...
[Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which indeed has "REPLICA" etched on the side; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at the sides of their guns]
Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O"...
[Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Written down the side of mine...
[They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has "DESERT EAGLE .50" etched on the side]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... **** off!

Errol: ****face, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?
Turkish: ****face... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm climbing off yer mum.
 
Life of Brian
Brain: Are you the Judean Peoples Front?
PFJ Leader: F**K OFF! We're the Peoples Front of Judea!
Brian: Can I join?
PFJ Leader: I don't know....you gotta hate the Romans....
Brian: I do hate the Romans!
PFJ Leader: ...how much?
Brain: Well....a lot!
PFJ Leader: Alright, you're in.


The Big Lewbowski
Cop: We found your car lodged up against a bridge abutment.
Lewbowski: Lodged in a what?!?

The Princess Bride
Inigo: Let me explain....there's too much.....let me sum up.

Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Inigo: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

O' Brother Where Art Thou
Pete: <whispering>Do not seek the treasure.
Delmar: <whispering>We thought you was a toad.
Pete: <long pause, whispers louder>Do not seek the treasure!
Delmar: <whispering louder>We thought you was a toad.

Delmar: You work for the railroad, Grampa?
Blind Seer: I work for no man.
Delmar: Got a name, do you?
Blind Seer: I have no name.
Ulysses Everett: Well, that right there may be the reason you've had difficulty findin' gainful employment. You see, in the mart of competitive commerce...

16 Candles
Farmer Ted: <waking up in Rolls Royce> Where are we?
Jakes Girlfriend: We're in a parking lot across the street from my church.
Farmer Ted: You own a church?

Raising Arizona
Evelle: Do these balloons blow up into funny shapes?
Elderly Shop Keeper: Not unless you think round is funny.

Ed: You mean you busted out of jail...?
Evelle: No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
Gale: What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.
 
"That's what I love about these high school girls...I get older, they stay they same age"
"thumbsup"


Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some ****in' muscle.
-----------------
John Hirschfelder: I was getting there! I had my hand under her shirt!
Tommy Houston: Hear that, he was 'getting there'. Son, you wouldn't even know what to do if you got there.
------------------
Dawson: Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
 
forest gump-
but i cant leave bubba
jennnnnay
my momma always says life is like a box of chocolates
lieutenant dan

and who could forget from full metal jacket

i gonna rip off your head and $hit down your neck:twisted:
 
"I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue"


"You ski the K-12 dude, and girls will go sterile just looking at you!"


Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder


Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!!!!
 
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You keep those guns pointed at me, And ill finish you off faster than the birthday cake at a fat chicks f%^kin party. Undead
 
From Vacation. I'm goofy, I always loved this movie -

"I think you're all ****ed in the head! We're 10 hours from the ****in' fun park and you want to bail out! Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun.

I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much ****in' fun we'll neep plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zippity Do-da' out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrammage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!"
 
Smokey and the Bandit

Jerry Reed.....
"Hoss you ain't gonna believe this,.......but that crazy sob just tried to drive right under my truck!"

Jackie Gleason...
"Don't go home,...don't go to eat,......and don't play with yourself, it wouldn't look nice on my highway"
 
Smokey and the Bandit

Jerry Reed.....
"Hoss you ain't gonna believe this,.......but that crazy sob just tried to drive right under my truck!"

Jackie Gleason...
"Don't go home,...don't go to eat,......and don't play with yourself, it wouldn't look nice on my highway"

I love that movie man.
Expessially the part where jackie Gleesons role looks at his son and says.

Junior, When I get home. Im gonna punch yo momma right in the mouth
 
Christmas Vacation-

Clark: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Clark:Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?
 
Warriors

Can you count.....suckas?? I say the future is yours......if you.....can count. Well, look at what we have here before us.......we've got the Saracens next to the Jones Street Boys.....we've got the Moonrunners right by the Van Cortland Rangers.......nobody is wasting nobody...... that.......is a miracle.....and miracles are the way things ought to be.....You're standing right now with nine delegates from 100 gangs and theres a hundred more......that's 20,000 hard core members.....40,000 counting affiliates and 20,000 not organized but ready to fight......Sixty thousand soldiers.......now there aint' but 20,000 police in the whole town!!! Can you dig it??? Can you dig it???? CAN YOOOOUUUU DIG ITTTTTTT ???????

Now here's the sum total..........ONE GANG!!!! could run this city.......ONE GANG!!!! Nothing would move without us allowing it to happen......we tax the crime syndicates......the police.....because we got the streets, suckers!!!! CAN YOU DIG IT!!!!???

The problem in the past has been the man turning us against each other.....We have been unable to see the truth because we have been fighting for 10 square feet of ground.......our turf.......our little piece of turf. That's crap, brothers!!!! That turf is ours by right, because it's our turf......all we have to do is keep up the general truce.....and take over one borough at a time........secure our territory......secure our turf......Because it's alllll ourrrrr turf!
 
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smokey and the bandit


give me a...diablo sandwhich a doctor pepper and make it fast i'm in goddamn hurry......YOU WANT SOMIN JUNIOR.....HUSHPUPPIES DADDY...WE AINT GOT NO TIME FOR THAT CRAP...dum sum bitch

here ya go moondog.......thank ya nice lady. lol

the truckstop seen i think was the best part. Gleason was funnier than hell.
 
[returning Austin's personal property after reanimating him]
Quartermaster Clerk: One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
Austin Powers: [to Vanessa] That's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
Quartermaster Clerk: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.
 
Cannonball Run:
CHP Officer; "I've never seen a god damn Rolls Royce do 130mph, what's that thing got in it?"
Sheik's guard; "Stock" (while wiggling hand)

Brock Yates about Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.; "Those guys are more juiced up than that Ferrari!"

Whole cast to Farrah Fawcett; "FOYT!!"

Mel Tillis to Terry Bradshaw; I, I, I can't see shit can you?

Brock Yates; You know your headlights aren't on.
Roger Moore; Why advertise.

Dom Deluise; It only hurts when I point.
 
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