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Dirty Joke

jc052685

Rock Stacker
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
79
Location
houston
"thumbsup"

A couple are at home while thier daughter is out on a date. The husband is eating peanuts while watching tv and his wife is paying bills. As he tosses one up in the air his wife comes into the room and asks him a question and as he turns to answer her, the peanut lands in his ear. The more he tries to get the peanut out, he further in it goes and after trying for 2 hours they finally agree to give up and go to the hospital. Just as they are leaving their daughter comes home with the boyfriend. The boyfriend looks at the husband, sticks his fingers up the husband's nose and says "blow". In doing so, it pops his ears and the peanut comes out. The daughter and boyfriend head into the kitchen to get some dessert for a reward and the wife approaches the husband and says "Oh wow, isn't he smart? What do you think he'll be when he grows up?" The husband looks at her and says "Well, judging by the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law."
 
ok here one
a man is jogging one morning before going to work he looks at his watch and sees he is going to be late for work so he decides to cut through the cemetary as hes passing through the cemetary there is a man crouched down by a tombstone the jogger runs past and says mornin guy looks back and says no just taking a shit
 
When I was younger I knew a girl with a seashell tattooed on the inside of her thigh. It was pretty realistic, too. I could put my ear up to it and smell the ocean
 
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A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy wants some dirty fun and says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he hits a tree with the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn’t because she didn’t have any clothes on. He replies, “Take my shoe and cover your cooter with it, and go for help!

She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replies, "I’m sorry, I think he's too far in."


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A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy wants some dirty fun and says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he hits a tree with the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn’t because she didn’t have any clothes on. He replies, “Take my shoe and cover your cooter with it, and go for help!

She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replies, "I’m sorry, I think he's too far in."


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thats a good one...
 
ooo i got one...

this guy walks into a bar and orders 7 shots..the bartender asked the guy "are you alright man?" the guys respons "no i just caught my gf and bestfriend in bed" the bartender says "aww man that sucks" the bartender asked the guy "what did you do to your gf?" the guy responds "sent her packin" the bartender asked "what did you do to your bestfriend?" the guy said "i tied him up sat him down and said BAD DOG!"
 
I got one

This dad says to his son, hey go run down to the doctor and get dads fun pills, son says ok! as hes runing he says "get dads fun pills, get dads fun pills", then he falls down and gets back up and says "get dads sex pills, get dads sex pills". Kid gets to doctor and said "I need my dads sex pills" doctor gives them to him and says to tell his dad to only take one every 24 ours, so the kid is runing back home saying "one every 24 hours" falls down gets up and says "take 24 every hour" he gets home and tells his dad to take 24 every hour.

A couple days later the doctor calls to check up and the kid answers and asks how the dad is doing, he replies "well my moms dead, my sisters pregnant, my butt hurts and my dads running around the house saying here kitty kitty kitty!"
 
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