why men pee standing up

[rockcrawlerman]

Originally Posted by badtodabone

Why Men Pee Standing Up :

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in his bag so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.

He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up.

"It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you would like that."

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy.

So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it.

So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited.

He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's
the other thing and I guess you can have it."

"What's it called? Eve asked.

"Brains" God said

LOL!

[paintballer9876]

Originally Posted by badtodabone

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them
Suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and dials 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead, what should I do?"
The operator in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
Easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he is dead."
There is a silence ... Then a gun shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"

http://

Here ya go

[Duuuuuuuude]

A guy is at a bar, and has been drinking all night. Suddenly he pukes all down the front of his shirt.

"Oh my god" he says to the bartender. "My wife is going to kill me! There's no way I can get out of this one..."

The bartender says "Yes there is. What you do is stick a $10 bill in your pocket, and when you get home, pull it out and tell her someone else puked on your shirt, and gave you $10 to have it cleaned.

"Thats a great idea!" replied the drunk guy, and headed home.

A short while later he is met by his wife at the front door, still completely hammered.

"Where the hell have you been and what the hell did you do to your shirt?!"

The guy reaches into his pocket for the money to show his wife and says "Oh, well, you see, this guy puked on me at the bar, and he gave me $10 to clean my shirt".

His wife looks at the money and says "But thats a $20."

"Oh, yeah...he crapped in my pants too."