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badtodabone · 01-06-2006, 05:07 PM

Why Men Pee Standing Up :

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in his bag so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.

He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up.

"It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you would like that."

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy.

So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it.

So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited.

He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's
the other thing and I guess you can have it."

"What's it called? Eve asked.

"Brains" God said

Frakk · 01-06-2006, 05:38 PM

then why do all the men have the brains today?

Crawlerguy851 · 01-06-2006, 05:48 PM

Hahahahaha! That just cracked me up so much. Totally correct in some manners.

syco133 · 01-06-2006, 08:13 PM

Chicks cant pee standing up? Highmarks last girlfriend could.

badtodabone · 01-06-2006, 09:32 PM

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them
Suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and dials 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead, what should I do?"
The operator in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
Easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he is dead."
There is a silence ... Then a gun shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"

slugzracing · 01-06-2006, 10:11 PM

If I wasn't winning the gender war at work I might tell that to my coworkers (all women).

Plays_with_Toys · 01-07-2006, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badtodabone

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them
Suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and dials 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead, what should I do?"
The operator in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
Easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he is dead."
There is a silence ... Then a gun shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"

Bwahahahahahahahaha

k9popo · 01-07-2006, 04:46 PM

I heard the same joke but, instead of brains it was multiple orgasms....

SlammedMini469 · 01-07-2006, 05:11 PM

lmao at both of them...

k9popo, i can see why he didn't use that....u know, considering there are several kids on this site.....

JasonInAugusta · 01-07-2006, 05:34 PM

A boy and a girl are arguing about who can do what better.

The girl is winning the argument so the boy drops his pants and says "Maybe so, but I've got one of these and you don't!"

The girl leaves, tells her mom, comes back later and drops her pants.

"My mom says that with one of these I can have as many of those as I want!"

demonoid369 · 03-03-2011, 01:54 PM

bump

entropy · 03-09-2011, 08:18 AM

Men are designed to pee standing up, cause if we did it laying down, we would get it all over ourselves

gunnar · 03-09-2011, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by entropy

Men are designed to pee standing up, cause if we did it laying down, we would get it all over ourselves

Unfortunately, most men aren't very good at aiming, since every public bathroom I've ever been to(and a lot of private ones too) have pee everywhere, on the floor, the seat, the tank, everywhere except the bowl.

One of my first jobs was cleaning houses, and I also had to clean two bar bathrooms-that was a downright nasty job most times.

maxmus · 03-09-2011, 09:22 AM

Hahahaha funny. Thanks for starting my morning with great laugh.

JeremyH · 03-09-2011, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunnar

Unfortunately, most men aren't very good at aiming,

Like when training a toddler.....put some Cheerios in the bowl. We need an entertaining target....

slobin3d · 03-09-2011, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunnar

Unfortunately, most men aren't very good at aiming, since every public bathroom I've ever been to(and a lot of private ones too) have pee everywhere, on the floor, the seat, the tank, everywhere except the bowl.

One of my first jobs was cleaning houses, and I also had to clean two bar bathrooms-that was a downright nasty job most times.

Back in the day I did a stint as a part time janitor, And from My experience the womens room was way nastier then the mens room. I don't know how they did it. I think they try to hoover over the seats then just let it go where ever!

gunnar · 03-09-2011, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slobin3d

Back in the day I did a stint as a part time janitor, And from My experience the womens room was way nastier then the mens room. I don't know how they did it. I think they try to hoover over the seats then just let it go where ever!

When I cleaned the bars, the women's rooms were much nicer. Maybe the women that went there were just neater.
I did clean this one house that a crazy old woman lived in once. The boss said he would give me "hazard pay" for this one, so I wasn't sure what I was in for

I peeked in the bathroom and saw an enema bag hanging on the shower nozzle. When I saw the brown rings in the bathtub I started laughing. Then I started seeing a lot more brown stuff-all over

Then it wasn't funny anymore. Apparently her "aim" wasn't very good either. By far the most nasty bathroom ever, I think she only flushed the toilet like once a week, to save water- I told you she was crazy right?
I cleaned it up, then quit the job shortly after.

Locked Up · 03-09-2011, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slobin3d

Back in the day I did a stint as a part time janitor, And from My experience the womens room was way nastier then the mens room. I don't know how they did it. I think they try to hoover over the seats then just let it go where ever!

I used to bartend in a college bar near LSU and the cleaning crew said the same thing...

Sure, the men's room had pee in stupid places but the "ladies" room had multiple items of interest all over. Everything from smokes & clothing to cell phones and shoes in the toilets.

I never understood how drunk you'd have to be to not notice you are walking around in a bar with only 1 shoe or not notice a "draft".

entropy · 03-09-2011, 02:06 PM

Too many things coming out of chicks. Too many products for who knows what.

sloppy · 03-09-2011, 02:16 PM

The best public restrooms are unisex ones.. I dont know why it is you would think getting men, women, and god knows what all using the same crapper it would be a mess. but they are always nice.

01-06-2006, 05:07 PM	#1
badtodabone bendforthebone Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Jamul Posts: 680	why men pee standing up Why Men Pee Standing Up : Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in his bag so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you would like that." Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy. So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited. He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while. God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's the other thing and I guess you can have it." "What's it called? Eve asked. "Brains" God said

03-09-2011, 08:18 AM	#12
entropy Quarry Creeper Join Date: May 2009 Location: Under Communist Occupation Posts: 271	Men are designed to pee standing up, cause if we did it laying down, we would get it all over ourselves Last edited by entropy; 03-09-2011 at 02:02 PM.

01-06-2006, 05:38 PM	#2
Frakk Pebble Pounder Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 171	then why do all the men have the brains today?

01-06-2006, 05:48 PM	#3
Crawlerguy851 Rock Crawler Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Clarkston, MI Posts: 661	Hahahahaha! That just cracked me up so much. Totally correct in some manners.

01-06-2006, 08:13 PM	#4
syco133 RCC Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Green River Kentucky Posts: 1,067	Chicks cant pee standing up? Highmarks last girlfriend could.

01-06-2006, 09:32 PM	#5
badtodabone bendforthebone Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Jamul Posts: 680	A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them Suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and dials 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead, what should I do?" The operator in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it Easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he is dead." There is a silence ... Then a gun shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"

01-06-2006, 10:11 PM	#6
slugzracing I wanna be Dave Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Hiding from Goodall Posts: 2,518	If I wasn't winning the gender war at work I might tell that to my coworkers (all women).

01-07-2006, 04:46 PM	#8
k9popo I wanna be Dave Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: * Posts: 2,877	I heard the same joke but, instead of brains it was multiple orgasms....

01-07-2006, 05:11 PM	#9
SlammedMini469 Rock Crawler Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Hardin, KY Posts: 976	lmao at both of them... k9popo, i can see why he didn't use that....u know, considering there are several kids on this site.....

01-07-2006, 05:34 PM	#10
JasonInAugusta 06 Super National Champ Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Stark Industries Bar and Grill Posts: 11,361	A boy and a girl are arguing about who can do what better. The girl is winning the argument so the boy drops his pants and says "Maybe so, but I've got one of these and you don't!" The girl leaves, tells her mom, comes back later and drops her pants. "My mom says that with one of these I can have as many of those as I want!"

03-03-2011, 01:54 PM	#11
demonoid369 RCC Addict Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: gervais Posts: 1,715	bump

03-09-2011, 09:22 AM	#14
maxmus Newbie Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Socal Posts: 21	Hahahaha funny. Thanks for starting my morning with great laugh.

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03-09-2011, 02:06 PM	#19
entropy Quarry Creeper Join Date: May 2009 Location: Under Communist Occupation Posts: 271	Too many things coming out of chicks. Too many products for who knows what.

03-09-2011, 02:16 PM	#20
sloppy I wanna be Dave Join Date: May 2006 Location: akron Posts: 4,054	The best public restrooms are unisex ones.. I dont know why it is you would think getting men, women, and god knows what all using the same crapper it would be a mess. but they are always nice.

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