Funny Pictures

[wings_of_fire]

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."

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In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?
A: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

[Rum_Runner]

Originally Posted by wings_of_fire

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In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?
A: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Yep sounds about right. I'm going on 6 years what happens now?

[CrawlinMike]

Originally Posted by Rum_Runner

Yep sounds about right. I'm going on 6 years what happens now?

You wait for "until death do you part".

[OTHGbronco82]

Originally Posted by CrawlinMike

You wait for "until death do you part".

I thought that was the goal?

[bob1961]

Originally Posted by OTHGbronco82

I thought that was the goal?

nope, that is the boobie prize ....

[wings_of_fire]

...

[wings_of_fire]

After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem." Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”

[wings_of_fire]

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."

[wings_of_fire]

...

[Tossedman]

Who needs a dog?

[bob1961]

[Tossedman]

Nothing like a good high speed chase!

[BigSki]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTRmyXX6ipU#t=146

Wouldn't be surprised if T-sizzle actually said that!

[lunatick]

[bob1961]

that little kid puts off a bigger shadow then the cop cars ....

[4wd4ws]

[johnnyh66]

[4wd4ws]

[1tonscout]

[Duuuuuuuude]

Originally Posted by 1tonscout

UHF (1989) - IMDb