Internet dating.

[BUBBA069]

bah.. got divorced 7 years ago (and that was 2 years too late) done the on online dating thing off and on since.... Match, POF, OKCupid, Tinder, coffee meets bagel....

Out of all of them Tinder can be the most entertaining if you are close to a big city. It uses FB (first name only, also to make sure you are real) and location. Requires a 2 way "like" to get to talk, but its the profiles that are a riot to read. The profile pictures can get interesting. My work is near an airport, man some interesting things have show up in that app LOL.

Match was the worst. They do everything they can to bleed money from you.

The hard part for the online thing is that being a dude you're behind the 8 ball from the start. An average female (5/10) starts a profile inside of a hour she has over a 100 messages, hotter the girl faster the messages come and higher the number.

As a guy that is not a super model, that same 100 messages a month plus. That is due to guys that never quite learned the proper way to talk to a girl. Here is a nice collection of the crap the females deal with https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/

The ones with the crazy list of requirements, those can be be helpful. Both in saving loads of time asking questions, and well if the list is nutty enough, so you don't waste your time at all.

[TexasSP]

I used eharmony. I was over the going out to places seen to meet others, the singles group at church was full of weird desperate women, and a friend recommended it. Been married 10 years now so it was a good experience for me.

eharmony did seem to help me weed out the weirdos better than the other sites I tried. I hated match.com, complete waste of time, worse than a bar. It was always "I want a man who makes 100k plus, must love cats, my annoying possessive friends, ride up on a white horse, have ripped abs, drive a mercedes/bmw/lexus, etc"

There were a couple of nutty ones on eharmony, but it was easy to figure out before ever getting to the "meeting them" part. Like when one told me she loved the 700 club......

[johnnyh66]

I LOVE internet dating!
I've had great success on Match and even better on okcupid... and ok cupid is free.

I've dated women from all walks of life thriough internet dating... definitaly had a few duds.
I went out on a date with a woman who must have been Chris Farley's twin... or stunt double.

But like all things, what you get out is related to what you put in... and location.
The dating pool in a place similar to where I live, Chicago... is pretty damn good. This city is full of beautiful, intelligent woman and the web makes them more approachable. It let's them feel a bit safer than chatting them up in a bar or just off the street... which can also work, if you are as charming as I am.

Which brings up point number 2, you have to come through as charming and witty... and be able to keep their interest because there is a lot of competition. So if you can write... you're in.

I met my current lady on Tinder, the phone app.
I highly recommend Tinder.
It's so easy and you can set a radius and it only connects people who are attracted to each other and are on at the same time... so you can use it for late night booty calls too.
Tinder worked better for me than all the websites.

[thecrusader]

^ prince charming hey. haha.

I'm clever with words, thing is I'm not really looking for a hook up. If I was,
tinder would be the go. I know a lot of people that have luck with that one.

It's all in the profile and photo's. If you can grab their attention, you know what you
want, and your a bit clever, you can get women on there.

It's not just the expectations, i don't think half the women on there want any men.
I'm a bit old fashioned, but I think it's great women are independent these days,but
I think it's gone too far. They don't even need us anymore. haha

TexasSP, where is this church???

I don't want get a woman, drag her back to my cave and that's the rest of her life.
But it would be nice to have a woman that wants a man, who is a man, to be a man
in the relationship. Not just an equal bread winner with good chemistry that conveniently
has the tools to procreate. Something for her to manipulate into what she wants.

Sitting through brunch, in some fancy tosser café with her friends, in clothes she picked out
for you and you just wished a plane would come crashing into the restaurant at any minute.

No thanks.

[KJ10]

Originally Posted by thecrusader

^ prince charming hey. haha.

I'm clever with words, thing is I'm not really looking for a hook up. If I was,
tinder would be the go. I know a lot of people that have luck with that one.

It's all in the profile and photo's. If you can grab their attention, you know what you
want, and your a bit clever, you can get women on there.

It's not just the expectations, i don't think half the women on there want any men.
I'm a bit old fashioned, but I think it's great women are independent these days,but
I think it's gone too far. They don't even need us anymore. haha

TexasSP, where is this church???

I don't want get a woman, drag her back to my cave and that's the rest of her life.
But it would be nice to have a woman that wants a man, who is a man, to be a man
in the relationship. Not just an equal bread winner with good chemistry that conveniently
has the tools to procreate. Something for her to manipulate into what she wants.

Sitting through brunch, in some fancy tosser café with her friends, in clothes she picked out
for you and you just wished a plane would come crashing into the restaurant at any minute.

No thanks.

Wish I could do more than just "like" this but, I'm at the exact same point in my life.

edit: And I have no answers.

[wings_of_fire]

In the name of independence things have indeed gone way too far.

The usual process is

Daddy's princess > Boosting self confidence from age 8 - 14 > Chatter chatter with friends = inflated ego and self esteem from age 14- 20 > A dose of feminism + immaturity + The world owes me from age 20 - 25 > Somethings wrong + Second dose of feminism + Confussion = Need to boost more ego and self worth from age 25 - 30 > Something is indeed wrong + where is my white knight + frustration + impulsive anger + third dose of feminism from age 30- 35 > Holy F**k + desperation + facepalm + feminist friends input + go girl you are strong = Sperm bank from age 35- 38 > Pregnancy + Birth + Finally ship reaches shore = Sigh of relief from age 38 - 40 > Increasing expenses + Child responsibility + exausted + clinging on to feminism with bitter taste in mouth + searching for provider man + revolution for more sperm banks = where am I? from age 40 -50 > Axe on foot + Reality strikes + eyes open + self assesment = A matured person from age 50 - 58 > Feminism is evil, I dont want it + I wish I had.... from age 58.

[thecrusader]

Well i'm stuffed then. lol.


One thing i'm noticing about this site i'm on is the pick up lines. Even if your funny
and clever there seems to be some rule with it.

I can see why there are hermit guys who just eat junk food and wank all day.

[Robbob]

I was playing with POF and Match after my divorce, figured my liver would like it better that way then the bar scene. Sent a lot of winks out and got a lot of 'big' girls winking back ........ and Im not a big guy either.

Saw one that caught my eye and figured give it one last try before I just gave up ........ almost 2 years later and she still talks to me

Its a crap shoot but so's going to the bar and waking up sober next to someone you just met

[Habanero]

A lot of people on those sites have mental issues so it's very wise to pay attention to early warning signs. It also depends on where you live for the # of replies- I live in a major metropolitan area so got lots of matches. It can get expensive so instead of dinners meet them for coffee in the morning and tell them up front you only have an hour for an escape plan. I met my current gf on eharmony.

[Natedog]

Originally Posted by Habanero

A lot of people on those sites have mental issues so it's very wise to pay attention to early warning signs. It also depends on where you live for the # of replies- I live in a major metropolitan area so got lots of matches. It can get expensive so instead of dinners meet them for coffee in the morning and tell them up front you only have an hour for an escape plan. I met my current gf on eharmony.

Damn good advice! For men and women. Yes, you can often tell just over coffee (much cheaper and can set time limit beforehand) whether somebody is of any interest at all.

Fortunately I met my wife when she was visiting with a mutual friend. I have several male and female friends who have all said pretty much the same thing...they want a good person for long term relationship and possible marriage...but they are having lots of trouble finding that one special person. Seems most of these sites are better for pickups than real relationships. You wouldn't believe some of the lame pickup lines, etc. that my friends have received in their pm boxes...then there's the sexting and straight up stalker types...male and female.

Good luck and it ain't easy finding a good partner these days. EDIT: I think it's easier to find somebody when you're not really looking, it just kinda happens. But for this to work, you gotta get out and meet people, somebody mentioned MeetUp as a good site for meeting people of similar interest and I agree, but one local meetup group in particular got fawked up. Couple guys would just hook up with every woman who showed up to our group, then kinda move on and then the women would stop attending our group activities because they felt embarrassed or whatever. But....the couple sleezer dudes in particular carried on as usual with every woman possible. :/

Originally Posted by allanon1965

Met my wife on Mirc, an internet chat room client..we will celebrate out 17th anniversary on the ninth of this month

Ah Mirc that brings back memories.

[thecrusader]

All very good, interesting points.

I think i'm having more trouble with the way things work these days
than either the site or meeting the women. Things like loyalty and respect
are just void. Seems like i'm in a world full of selfish people who just play on their
phones all the time and are worried about themselves.

Not trying to generalise but I see this and shake my head at other peoples
behaviour out and about and no one gives a shit about anyone else.

Personally I think half the women on that site just want an ego boost
and have no intention of meeting anyone.

I've already had one woman in my life lie to my whole family, even talk about
marriage then screw around and betray my trust. Doesn't seem to mean much
to a lot of people these days. Makes it very hard to let someone in again.

[Habanero]

A funny thing about eharmony is that I know people who were actually rejected by it; refused to take them as customers. They ask you a ton of questions about yourself and they will block you if the algorithm detects you are being dishonest ( there for the wrong reasons - just to hook up or scam people ). Regardless of my ACTUAL work history/performance I have been refused countless jobs by these evil robot gatekeepers but eharmony never figured out I was married haha ( soon to divorce ).

[BUBBA069]

Originally Posted by Natedog

....Yes, you can often tell just over coffee (much cheaper and can set time limit beforehand) whether somebody is of any interest at all. .......

Met a gal for a drink at an Applebee's. It was dead slow, I was there 10 minutes early to make sue we had a table so we didn't have to wait. She ended up being 15 minutes late. So all the servers kept coming by and asking "you want something other than a drink while you wait?"

She finally showed up, bitching about the babysitter being late. Got our drinks and one of the other servers (not ours) was going by and heard her complaining about the baby sitter. The two then spent next 10~15 minutes talking about child support, crappy baby daddy's, which migrated to how to screw over any guy for child support, baby daddy or not. Needless to say it was the one and only time in my 39 years that I pulled the "I've got to use the restroom" maneuver. On the way out, found our server handed her a $20 and told her I'm out. She replied "we were wondering if you would stay when we seen those two talking."

I was in my car and going around the building and could see the two talking still. I was 20 minutes down the road when she texted me wondering where I went.

Dick move? Maybe. Did I lose and sleep over it? Nope.

[Sarra]

Originally Posted by BUBBA069

Met a gal for a drink at an Applebee's. It was dead slow, I was there 10 minutes early to make sue we had a table so we didn't have to wait. She ended up being 15 minutes late. So all the servers kept coming by and asking "you want something other than a drink while you wait?"

She finally showed up, bitching about the babysitter being late. Got our drinks and one of the other servers (not ours) was going by and heard her complaining about the baby sitter. The two then spent next 10~15 minutes talking about child support, crappy baby daddy's, which migrated to how to screw over any guy for child support, baby daddy or not. Needless to say it was the one and only time in my 39 years that I pulled the "I've got to use the restroom" maneuver. On the way out, found our server handed her a $20 and told her I'm out. She replied "we were wondering if you would stay when we seen those two talking."

I was in my car and going around the building and could see the two talking still. I was 20 minutes down the road when she texted me wondering where I went.

Dick move? Maybe. Did I lose and sleep over it? Nope.

Sometimes, you just gotta jump ship. Jumping ship like that is better than making a scene... So yeah, no blame from me there.

[DVS]

Originally Posted by BUBBA069

Dick move?

No, No it wasn't, What she did well............

[bob1961]

I have used my local sunday paper dating pages that were free, met a few girls that way....lived with one for a few years, shouldn't be any different online....just as long as it's not craigs list ....

[Natedog]

Originally Posted by wings_of_fire

In the name of independence things have indeed gone way too far.

The usual process is

Daddy's princess > Boosting self confidence from age 8 - 14 > Chatter chatter with friends = inflated ego and self esteem from age 14- 20 > A dose of feminism + immaturity + The world owes me from age 20 - 25 > Somethings wrong + Second dose of feminism + Confussion = Need to boost more ego and self worth from age 25 - 30 > Something is indeed wrong + where is my white knight + frustration + impulsive anger + third dose of feminism from age 30- 35 > Holy F**k + desperation + facepalm + feminist friends input + go girl you are strong = Sperm bank from age 35- 38 > Pregnancy + Birth + Finally ship reaches shore = Sigh of relief from age 38 - 40 > Increasing expenses + Child responsibility + exausted + clinging on to feminism with bitter taste in mouth + searching for provider man + revolution for more sperm banks = where am I? from age 40 -50 > Axe on foot + Reality strikes + eyes open + self assesment = A matured person from age 50 - 58 > Feminism is evil, I dont want it + I wish I had.... from age 58.

Little bit of this too, but I want a woman who is my equal to share responsibilities with and who can deal with problems if need be.

[rubiconrockkrawler]

I have tried a couple online dating sites, and so far of the few i went to meet, their pics were from when they were younger or looked a lot different than they do now. I have zero luck with females and my job, merchant mariner, doesn't help in meeting any either.

[thecrusader]

After my disappointment with the site and a lot of the people on it, i'm
thinking if I need certain services to just pay for them. After paying for fuel,
dinner, drinks, other things and whatever on dates your easily ahead cutting out the b/s.

I feel a bit bad for some of the women on there but a lot are on there for free meals
and whatever. I'm certainly not down for playing their stupid little games.
Not at the moment.

[wings_of_fire]

You have the right psycology to isolate yourself from the time wasters. :thumbup:
Don't give up. After turning a thousand stones, one finds a jem. Same with life;)