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Understanding Women

Every. Damn. Day. :ror:

She's also gotten mad at me because she had a dream that I cheated on her.

Gotta love that one.
I got slugged one night for that dream.
She told me it was because I was looking at the hottest wife thread.... :shock:
 
So one day a genie appeared to a man and gave him one wish, riches and eternal life were not options. The man thought about it and said
I have never been to Hawaii because i am afraid to fly. If I could drive I would go. Build me a bridge to drive across to the islands. The Genie thought about it for a second and said that may affect too many people, come up with something else.
The man said help me understand women.
The Genie said Did you want that bridge 2 or 4 lanes?
 
A few years ago I started upon the quest to try to understand WTF the woman was talking about ( at least some of the time) so, at the advice of my brother, I read the book 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus'. Upon completion of said literature, I looked at the woman and say- 'I know what the issue is: you're a fawkin alien! ' :lmao: yep, I slept on the sofa for about 10 days after that stunt.....
 
Understanding women: Cliffnotes

If it has tits or tires, it will give you problems.

No....It's

"If its got tits, tires, or tracks, you're gonna have problems" a friend of mine says this all the time, he is a heavy equipment operator.

You know what they say, the biggest problem with *****......is, it's attached to a girl. :roll:
 
Every. Damn. Day. :ror:

She's also gotten mad at me because she had a dream that I cheated on her.

Another sleep-on-the-couch conversation: INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY, DO NOT ATTEMPT

Me: WTF is wrong?

Her: You cheated on me, in my dream last night.

Me: Who with?

Her: (names her hot easy friend)

Me: Well shit, call her up. If I'm gonna get in trouble for it, might as well do it.

Her: (that look)

Me: 3-way?
 
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Another sleep-on-the-couch conversation: INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY, DO NOT ATTEMPT

Me: WTF is wrong?

Her: You cheated on me, in my dream last night.

Me: Who with?

Her: (names her hot easy friend)

Me: Well shit, call her up. If I'm gonna get in trouble for it, might as well do it.

Her: (that look)

Me: 3-way?
:lmao::lmao::lmao:definately something I would say!
 
Every. Damn. Day. :ror:

She's also gotten mad at me because she had a dream that I cheated on her.

I hate that one. My wife has dragged that one out to days. Makes me think, maybe I should have cheated and made this all worth it.

That's how.my girlfriend is about directions she'll be like get over ill ask which way she says there I say I don't know where there is I need a left or right she says well I was pointing.

My wife is the same way. I say, " If you want to make it there alive then open ur f&$@ing mouth and tell me the direction. Or I could watch ur hands the whole time and get bitched at to WATCH THE ROAD. "
 
Well for one, I have to say I am kinda glad to see that I am not the only one with the 'ol lady having dreams of us cheating. Kinda because I know now that mine isn't a "special" crazy:lmao: I still don't wish those mornings on anyone.

As far as directions, don't point me left and right. Don't even tell me to turn left or right either. Just tell me where we are going. Women usually have a bass ackwards way of getting places anyways. :roll:

And do I really have to listen to your day when you get home, I have 50 million texts and phone calls about every little thing that happened all day anyways, I don't need a recap. Since I left work at work, she wonders why I don't talk about my day. :shock:
 
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