How about anyone fighting depression

[Mudturd]

Rat1, I have battled and suffered with depression my entire life. I inherited it through my genes, and got a double dose of it, because of the trauma I experienced growing up with parents who suffered with it. In the most recent years I have had the pleasure of experiencing anxiety attacks to top it all off. But, I now know that, even though it has been a very dark, painful, and scary ride, I have not suffered in vein. It is because of people like you, that I am grateful I have walked through those fiery trials. Because, when I say to you, you can and will make it through this, my words have the ability to penetrate your feelings of hopelessness. I could not have made it through life this far without God and having others that have gone through the same thing reach out and encourage me.

I am currently in the process of grieving the death of my father; he committed suicide this past October. He did what you and I have contemplated many times ourselves; he shot himself in the head with a handgun. He was very sick with severe PTSD from Vietnam, depression, and intense anxiety, and he stayed isolated and bottled a lot of it up.

I wanted to share that with you, because the affects have had a devastating effect on me and my family. Your children may need you one day, because they may inherit depression themselves. When you get through this, and with the right help you will, the impact of your encouragement, that you will be able to give because of your personal experience, could some day save their lives. Not to mention the other lives of the people God will place in your life to help guide them through the storm.

I can not tell you how important it is to stay connected and reach out to people who have been down this road and survived, even if it is just in a forum on the internet. You need to talk to people who understand, and avoid talking to people who can not relate. People who have not been through depression will unintentionally say things that will make you feel worse. I have had loved ones that did not understand say things to me like, "you are being ridiculous", and it literally almost pushed me right over the edge. I have since realized that loved ones will often say things out of fear of losing you, hoping it will shock you out of your depression. They are often desperate to see us happy again, and don't know what to do to help. It can be helpful to do some research and find articles that can help educate your loved ones.

I do not practice any religion, I simply have faith in God. It was during those painful times I sought Him, found Him, and began to understand that real happiness and peace came through my relationship with Him. No one in this life escapes pain, and if you never find the purpose behind it, pain will scream to you that life is hopeless and empty, so just go and seek pleasure and relief however you can get it. But when I followed that idea, my return was bitter emptiness, and I became even more depressed. Once I realized that the pain God brought me through had a powerful message of hope that could help lift people out of that pit of darkness, my pain turned into an unspeakable joy that fleeting happiness pales in comparison to.

I want you to know that for the past few days, the pain of losing my dad has been crushing and almost paralyzing at times, but when I saw this thread it gave me joy again. God reminded me that even the pain from my father's suicide has a purpose too. Even if is just to tell another father who is at the end of his rope to hang on.

Thank you for reaching out; it helped ease the pain of losing my dad.

[CaptainSafety]

My best friend committed suicide on 11/20/10 at about 1:45 am. self inflicted gunshot behind his right ear with a 45 caliber glock with hollow points. I literally cleaned my best friends brains off of the road in front of his house. Paramedics said he didn't die instantly and likely suffered for some time. He was trying to breath when the paramedics got there. I got the call about 3:30 am and rushed to the hospital

Why am I being so graphic? Because you have no idea what the people that care for you go through after something like that. He left behind a loving wife and 16 year old daughter. And dozens of close friends. I personally lost the best friend I will ever have that night.

He had been fighting depression for some time, was medicated , and loved good beer. His death was likely the result of medication alcohol and a fateful decision he couldn't fully comprehend at the time.

Suicide isn't the answer.

Steve, I love you like a brother, I miss you. May you rest in peace.

[Knarly Nerd]

Originally Posted by Mudturd

Rat1, I have battled and suffered with depression my entire life. I inherited it through my genes, and got a double dose of it, because of the trauma I experienced growing up with parents who suffered with it. In the most recent years I have had the pleasure of experiencing anxiety attacks to top it all off. But, I now know that, even though it has been a very dark, painful, and scary ride, I have not suffered in vein. It is because of people like you, that I am grateful I have walked through those fiery trials. Because, when I say to you, you can and will make it through this, my words have the ability to penetrate your feelings of hopelessness. I could not have made it through life this far without God and having others that have gone through the same thing reach out and encourage me.

I am currently in the process of grieving the death of my father; he committed suicide this past October. He did what you and I have contemplated many times ourselves; he shot himself in the head with a handgun. He was very sick with severe PTSD from Vietnam, depression, and intense anxiety, and he stayed isolated and bottled a lot of it up.

I wanted to share that with you, because the affects have had a devastating effect on me and my family. Your children may need you one day, because they may inherit depression themselves. When you get through this, and with the right help you will, the impact of your encouragement, that you will be able to give because of your personal experience, could some day save their lives. Not to mention the other lives of the people God will place in your life to help guide them through the storm.

I can not tell you how important it is to stay connected and reach out to people who have been down this road and survived, even if it is just in a forum on the internet. You need to talk to people who understand, and avoid talking to people who can not relate. People who have not been through depression will unintentionally say things that will make you feel worse. I have had loved ones that did not understand say things to me like, "you are being ridiculous", and it literally almost pushed me right over the edge. I have since realized that loved ones will often say things out of fear of losing you, hoping it will shock you out of your depression. They are often desperate to see us happy again, and don't know what to do to help. It can be helpful to do some research and find articles that can help educate your loved ones.

I do not practice any religion, I simply have faith in God. It was during those painful times I sought Him, found Him, and began to understand that real happiness and peace came through my relationship with Him. No one in this life escapes pain, and if you never find the purpose behind it, pain will scream to you that life is hopeless and empty, so just go and seek pleasure and relief however you can get it. But when I followed that idea, my return was bitter emptiness, and I became even more depressed. Once I realized that the pain God brought me through had a powerful message of hope that could help lift people out of that pit of darkness, my pain turned into an unspeakable joy that fleeting happiness pales in comparison to.

I want you to know that for the past few days, the pain of losing my dad has been crushing and almost paralyzing at times, but when I saw this thread it gave me joy again. God reminded me that even the pain from my father's suicide has a purpose too. Even if is just to tell another father who is at the end of his rope to hang on.

Thank you for reaching out; it helped ease the pain of losing my dad.

Wow!

[TEDROCKZ]

Sarah told me a bit about her fathers ordeal at the Turkey Crawl at LRC and it is really a touching story. I may be one of those who accidently says one of those wrong things that you mentioned from lack of just not knowing. If I were ever too just call me on it.

I will say this! You are an awesome, beatiful person and spirit. You make everyone around you feel a little better. Just do what you need to do to keep going cause we really need you around to keep us guys in check. If you guys ever need anytning that I can provide please LMK.

Steve/TEDROCKZ

Originally Posted by Mudturd

Rat1, I have battled and suffered with depression my entire life. I inherited it through my genes, and got a double dose of it, because of the trauma I experienced growing up with parents who suffered with it. In the most recent years I have had the pleasure of experiencing anxiety attacks to top it all off. But, I now know that, even though it has been a very dark, painful, and scary ride, I have not suffered in vein. It is because of people like you, that I am grateful I have walked through those fiery trials. Because, when I say to you, you can and will make it through this, my words have the ability to penetrate your feelings of hopelessness. I could not have made it through life this far without God and having others that have gone through the same thing reach out and encourage me.

I am currently in the process of grieving the death of my father; he committed suicide this past October. He did what you and I have contemplated many times ourselves; he shot himself in the head with a handgun. He was very sick with severe PTSD from Vietnam, depression, and intense anxiety, and he stayed isolated and bottled a lot of it up.

I wanted to share that with you, because the affects have had a devastating effect on me and my family. Your children may need you one day, because they may inherit depression themselves. When you get through this, and with the right help you will, the impact of your encouragement, that you will be able to give because of your personal experience, could some day save their lives. Not to mention the other lives of the people God will place in your life to help guide them through the storm.

I can not tell you how important it is to stay connected and reach out to people who have been down this road and survived, even if it is just in a forum on the internet. You need to talk to people who understand, and avoid talking to people who can not relate. People who have not been through depression will unintentionally say things that will make you feel worse. I have had loved ones that did not understand say things to me like, "you are being ridiculous", and it literally almost pushed me right over the edge. I have since realized that loved ones will often say things out of fear of losing you, hoping it will shock you out of your depression. They are often desperate to see us happy again, and don't know what to do to help. It can be helpful to do some research and find articles that can help educate your loved ones.

I do not practice any religion, I simply have faith in God. It was during those painful times I sought Him, found Him, and began to understand that real happiness and peace came through my relationship with Him. No one in this life escapes pain, and if you never find the purpose behind it, pain will scream to you that life is hopeless and empty, so just go and seek pleasure and relief however you can get it. But when I followed that idea, my return was bitter emptiness, and I became even more depressed. Once I realized that the pain God brought me through had a powerful message of hope that could help lift people out of that pit of darkness, my pain turned into an unspeakable joy that fleeting happiness pales in comparison to.

I want you to know that for the past few days, the pain of losing my dad has been crushing and almost paralyzing at times, but when I saw this thread it gave me joy again. God reminded me that even the pain from my father's suicide has a purpose too. Even if is just to tell another father who is at the end of his rope to hang on.

Thank you for reaching out; it helped ease the pain of losing my dad.

[Badd]

Originally Posted by Mudturd

Rat1, I have battled and suffered with depression my entire life. I inherited it through my genes, and got a double dose of it, because of the trauma I experienced growing up with parents who suffered with it. In the most recent years I have had the pleasure of experiencing anxiety attacks to top it all off. But, I now know that, even though it has been a very dark, painful, and scary ride, I have not suffered in vein. It is because of people like you, that I am grateful I have walked through those fiery trials. Because, when I say to you, you can and will make it through this, my words have the ability to penetrate your feelings of hopelessness. I could not have made it through life this far without God and having others that have gone through the same thing reach out and encourage me.

I am currently in the process of grieving the death of my father; he committed suicide this past October. He did what you and I have contemplated many times ourselves; he shot himself in the head with a handgun. He was very sick with severe PTSD from Vietnam, depression, and intense anxiety, and he stayed isolated and bottled a lot of it up.

I wanted to share that with you, because the affects have had a devastating effect on me and my family. Your children may need you one day, because they may inherit depression themselves. When you get through this, and with the right help you will, the impact of your encouragement, that you will be able to give because of your personal experience, could some day save their lives. Not to mention the other lives of the people God will place in your life to help guide them through the storm.

I can not tell you how important it is to stay connected and reach out to people who have been down this road and survived, even if it is just in a forum on the internet. You need to talk to people who understand, and avoid talking to people who can not relate. People who have not been through depression will unintentionally say things that will make you feel worse. I have had loved ones that did not understand say things to me like, "you are being ridiculous", and it literally almost pushed me right over the edge. I have since realized that loved ones will often say things out of fear of losing you, hoping it will shock you out of your depression. They are often desperate to see us happy again, and don't know what to do to help. It can be helpful to do some research and find articles that can help educate your loved ones.

I do not practice any religion, I simply have faith in God. It was during those painful times I sought Him, found Him, and began to understand that real happiness and peace came through my relationship with Him. No one in this life escapes pain, and if you never find the purpose behind it, pain will scream to you that life is hopeless and empty, so just go and seek pleasure and relief however you can get it. But when I followed that idea, my return was bitter emptiness, and I became even more depressed. Once I realized that the pain God brought me through had a powerful message of hope that could help lift people out of that pit of darkness, my pain turned into an unspeakable joy that fleeting happiness pales in comparison to.

I want you to know that for the past few days, the pain of losing my dad has been crushing and almost paralyzing at times, but when I saw this thread it gave me joy again. God reminded me that even the pain from my father's suicide has a purpose too. Even if is just to tell another father who is at the end of his rope to hang on.

Thank you for reaching out; it helped ease the pain of losing my dad.

Sara , I sit here reading this with tears rollin' . Knowing you and knowing you are a great person helps me say that . I to have fought depression & anxiety for about 10 years . The last year or so has been much better for me . I'm not sure why or what changed . But I hope to stay in this state of mind . Believe me it is not easy to say this on here .

[Mudturd]

Originally Posted by TEDROCKZ

Sarah told me a bit about her fathers ordeal at the Turkey Crawl at LRC and it is really a touching story. I may be one of those who accidently says one of those wrong things that you mentioned from lack of just not knowing. If I were ever too just call me on it.

I will say this! You are an awesome, beatiful person and spirit. You make everyone around you feel a little better. Just do what you need to do to keep going cause we really need you around to keep us guys in check. If you guys ever need anytning that I can provide please LMK.

Steve/TEDROCKZ

Originally Posted by Badd

Sara , I sit here reading this with tears rollin' . Knowing you and knowing you are a great person helps me say that . I to have fought depression & anxiety for about 10 years . The last year or so has been much better for me . I'm not sure why or what changed . But I hope to stay in this state of mind . Believe me it is not easy to say this on here .

Guys, you can't even begin to know how you just blessed me by saying what you said...thank you!!!

Something people should know when giving anti-depressants a try:

1. Alcohol’s effect on anti-depressants.
2. Giving up before the trial period suggested on medication.

I will always be burdened by the thought of not knowing if my dad could have gotten better on a medication. He would often drink while on an anti-depressant, or give up before the full 4/6 week trial period you are suppose to give it for the full benefit to kick in, or mix it with other prescriptions. Alcohol acts as a depressant, and it will undo the benefits of an anti-depressant, especially in a moderate to heavy drinker. I like beer too, but because I can tell after only one beer, that it starts removing the benefits of my anti-depressants, I very rarely take a drink. And because I saw my dad’s struggle over the years. It even played a roll in his suicide. The night he shot himself he had come off a medicine he had been taking cold turkey, started a new one, and drank a bottle of wine.

I have been on and off meds several times myself. I have had to try about 6 different ones, and go to several different doctors, until I found the one I am on now. I had even successfully come off my meds for several months at one point, and I had been in therapy, eating better foods, and exercising regularly…I thought at last I had overcome my battle, and thought it had only been situational depression from some of my painful childhood experiences. Then out of flippin’ nowhere comes the worst depression, and it brought a terrible dose of anxiety with it!! Talk about disappointment and fear…it was awful to put it lightly!!!

To sum it up, after much self-education from the internet, therapist, and doctors I realized I had clinical/ hereditary depression. People with clinical depression can sometimes go a few months feeling just fine, and then fall back into the depression. I had a long family history of depression and mental illness to tip me off that I had inherited it, because some of my grandparents and great grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins had the same problem.

A person can be born with a brain that has weak chemical valve system, just like someone born with diabetes has a mal-functioning pancreas. I finally became comfortable with receiving help from a medicine in order to live, just like a full blown diabetic has to take insulin if they want to live. If a person’s heart, liver, kidneys, intestines, pancreas, or any other part of the body can mal-function or get sick, why is it so hard for us to consider that the brain is not exempt from getting sick or mal-functioning. In fact, as complex as the brain is, it is probably on of the most vulnerable organs we have for getting sick.

Keep in mind everyone is different. There are different levels and types of depression, and different ways to treat it. Some are born with it, some experience bouts of it during the loss of a loved one or a difficult time like a divorce or breakup. Some people’s brains can be permanently damaged by a severe traumatic experience, as this was my dad’s case. He had never suffered from depression before the war, but because of the horror he experienced there, he was never the same optimistic, outgoing, and happy person he had been prior to those events.

Bottom line, reach out, educate yourself, and seek help and a solution until you find it. Give things time to kick in, and try not to mix it with the alcohol.

[droopmodmrc]

This is one of the best bands imo for anyone fighting depression give them a shot.Every time im ready to hang it up. I listen to all there songs. and they are so positive it lifts you right up and you dont feel alone anymore please listen to it more than once THIS CAN HELP YOU


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_bc7IT4u7s

LYRICS:i know the sink and the rot gut feeling "is this happening to me" and i know what it's like to want to end it all driving home between the lines in the road i swear that i've been through this before when nothing makes much sense except for doing yourself in razor blades are hard to hold when we're hit in the heart with problems that won't shift it's hard to admit that we're afraid when we're hit in the head with unanswered questions that repeat "how could i ever live after this day" we can take the hits and grow tougher collect ourselves to live longer and find there is no need to be afraid because we all have more to offer when we struggle to cope with whatever it takes to make the says we all have what it takes to make it home (thank you so very much HOT WATER MUSIC for saving my life and I am sure many others)

[entropy]

Alcohol being mixed with anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs, and altering how they work, can be the least of our worries. A little alcohol with your meds can get rid of your depression and anxiety FOREVER!

I really encourage people to self-educate, as we are not experts in the workings of the human mind, neuro-transmitters, etc. There are numerous reasons behind our conditions. There are a few things that have been brought up that might be a bit questionable (not going to get into them and have someone start an argument). Just remember, not everything we say is Gospel truth, nor may it be correct or accurate in all/many/some cases. Dont think Im preaching. The same goes for what I say. Im no shrink, nor a neurologist.

An important thing to remember that a very common reason for these conditions is fear - though it may manifest as sadness, anger, dark thoughts, agitation, and even physical side effects - tired, fatigue, lack of energy, weakness, dizziness.

The best way to get information is to get it from the experts.
Information that shares what people are going through and have gone through is great. If someone has had serious problems with a med, or really good luck, thats good info, but when you encounter forums, Q&A's etc., and people are all complaining about meds, and how they decide they are going to take them, or not take them. You really need to stay away from that crap. There is a reason the dram vials say, "do not stop taking immediately". These drugs can produce nasty withdrawls, or worse. Also, read up on the concept of Nurture vs. Nature, or Nurture and Nature. You cannot separate the two, but dont assume it is one causing it, dont assume its both causing it. There are so many neurological disorders, and for many one cannot claim - "thats how I got it". Also check out Chronic Fatigue Syndrome", now thats an interesting and controversial thing to throw in the mix.

[entropy]

So how are you guys doing???????????????

[brokennib]

Originally Posted by entropy

So how are you guys doing???????????????

How you doin?

[entropy]

Originally Posted by brokennib

How you doin?

No, how YOU doin?


Eh, not bad. Spent some time at a skate park with the RC's with some friends. One is a family friend from up north. He's got Parkinsons, so being able to see him when he is down is always good, even though hes really slowin down. Hes neat guy.

Beat the snot out of my Rattler Slash body - cracks everywhere. Good part is even though I am very type A, very aggressive, and have a nasty temper, I was really mellow about the whole thing. Nothin that cant be fixed.

Got some easy work projects commin, so money area will improve. Washer motor is dying, but again, nothin that cant be fixed, and the work will cover it! Get to get some stuff on my car fixed to. So things could be a whole lot worse.

I would like some more rain though!


I gotta say that this post has left some good things in my noggin. Funny, sometimes you need to listen to your own advice, and you really need to see that some struggle less than you, and others, make your life look like a walk in the park. The good part is, we are all there together!

[brokennib]

Originally Posted by entropy

No, how YOU doin?



I gotta say that this post has left some good things in my noggin. Funny, sometimes you need to listen to your own advice, and you really need to see that some struggle less than you, and others, make your life look like a walk in the park. The good part is, we are all there together!

I'm glad to hear it, there's a lot of people out there that aren't able to see that. I wish you much mellowness in the future.

[entropy]

May you have peace as well.

[Rat1]

Originally Posted by entropy

Anyone know or hear from Rat1? I have PM'd him a couple of times, but no response. Worries me a bit.

I don't check in very often anymore. Too much chit going on in life to sit on the keyboard much.

I have my ups and downs but the downs pretty much out number the ups. Lots of family issues these days but not with the wife and kids. The best thing right now is my little boy. He is just over a year now and he keeps me smiling when I am home and he is not at daycare.

My physical health is taking a dive lately. Had another heart issue a few weeks ago. Been doctoring every week since then. I have a feeling it is going to effect my career as a truck driver and that is killing me. Need to drop 50+ lbs get my sugars and BP back under control again.

Been trying to get out and do some walking etc but these freaking temps are not great for outdoor stuff these days. My 43 year old body can't seem to take the cold anymore.

Summer is around the corner and I have my Harley tore down for a 95 inch kit and some other goodies. I was going to do some paint work also but the boy decided to give the tops of the bags some signature with a yardstick and I decided to leave it as is. His mark is better then any pait work.

The RC stuff has taken a back seat for now. The boy and I play with the mini and micro losi once and awhile but the custom stuff is idle for now.

[djjiz]

Best thread I have ever read..

[soundcolor]

Brother. I hear ya.

I. Have battled depression all my life.

It killed my grandfather and my uncle. Both of em took a bullet.

It never really does any good to hear that you have alot to live for, and it doesn't help that people will miss you. You already know that. And while you know those things, it doesn't make it any easier for ya.

Trust me, I know.

The only thing I can tell you is...

Built a fence, build a bridge, chop down a tree.

See, running.errands doesn't work, and neither does going to work at your 9-5. Your on autopiolot when your doing.those things.

I have found that pouring my heart and soul into some real, outside physical labor clears things up pretty well. At least for a while. Bro, yyour always going to get down, and low. Its the way guys like us are wired. It sucks and its stupid, but its the way it is.

I understand when you say you can't do something. I know.

Call up some buddies and get to work on that fence. He'll, cut down the trees for wood yourself..

I have always found that finding a place, or somethi.g that just gets my mind clear for a while helps so much. And really that's what your after.

See bro, your looking for a way to get away from the demons, just for a while. Im not telling you anything you don't know when I say that its never going to stay away forever. Shit, you know that.
But the reason that colt is weighing heavy is because you need it to stop for a while. Just so you can relax. You don't want to give up the.fight, but you can't struggle forever.

So, shit man, go do work. Just go do it.

Don't do something you like, that's just more of.the same. Like something you do. Do something that you normally wouldn't do. And work hard at doing it right, the old fashioned way. With nothing but tools and your hands. Get out in the sunlight, get some fresh air in ya.
Let those feelings melt away with the sweat that pours putts ya.

It'll help.


And look bro, if you need to just shoot the shit for a while, or just say what's on your head, and don't want to have someone judge you, shoot me a pm and ill give you my.number.


Later,
D.

[entropy]

RATMAN!,,

Great to hear from you!

It sounds like the time you are getting to spend with your son is great.
This is not meant to be about me, its just some perspective. Im a wee bit
younger than you, and the wife and I have not been able to have kids yet.
I would love to have a son to do stuff with. Concentrate on the happy things you have.

The weight issue, when I say its easy, I dont mean, its a snap, but you can loose 50lbs! I know you can.

As far as the thought of your truck driving career ending and that it is just killing you, maybe it is. Maybe the truck driving is part of the problem - not sure what distances you travel, but can be lonely, sedentary, etc. I know how bad the economy sucks, and how hard it is to find jobs - in a very personal way. Cancer can knock you out of the market for a few years. Im slowly getting started again. It is a bit different this time. Maybe there is something else, something new out there for you. I know there are the things we do, but sometimes that changes to things we really dont, or even havent.

Stay busy, do projects. The weather has definitely limited some things.
Do what you can do.

Last, I guess would be - STAY IN TOUCH MAN!

We all have this problem in some way. It just takes a couple minutes just to check in and let us know how you are, say hi, or to spill a bit. Its important for you, and its important for us. When you drop off of the grid for a while, kinda makes people wonder and worry about ya!
We just want to know you are here, and we want you to know that we are here.

Take care brother, and anytime.......you know where to find us, and where to find me.

Peace to you.

[entropy]

Originally Posted by soundcolor

It killed my grandfather and my uncle. Both of em took a bullet.

D.

I know that you know what I am saying, but for various reasons I want and need to say it. You need to be sure that your diet remains lead free!

[entropy]

Originally Posted by djjiz

Best thread I have ever read..

Its been great, hasnt it?! I have found out somethings that I knew, things that work, advice I had given, have in a few areas, have really crept inside my head and have been making small changes that I have noticed. Its kinda cool.

The dots are all on a wall in front of us. We have the pencil, but we often lack the focus to connect them. Sometimes we just need to talk about things. We often have the answers, we just dont know it yet. When someone, can repeat things that we have said back to us, especially a good professional, its amazing. You think, well hey, I knew that, you just didnt realize it, to what extent, and how things related. At times its like they are able to put a pair of glasses on you for certain things, and then the pattern of the dots is more apparent.


Sometimes after we chit chat back and forth for a bit in a small period of time, I find my self so tired, sometimes exhausted. After a short time, it leaves, and I feel so good inside. We may all be in a little life raft in a big ocean, but we are all in that raft together - we are not alone!

[Rig Rocker]

Lost mine to a self inflicted 9mm bullet. It's hell for everyone around afterwards. Keep your head up and don't stop fighting.

Read about the Amygdela. Its a switch in your brain that literally makes every thought light, or dark. If you can figure it out you can put yourself in a positive mood and pull yourself out of a dark place when you need to.

R.I.P. - K