RCCrawler Forums

entropy · 02-22-2011, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rig Rocker

Read about the Amygdela. Its a switch in your brain that literally makes every thought light, or dark. If you can figure it out you can put yourself in a positive mood and pull yourself out of a dark place when you need to.

Being able to control your thoughts, or as the Good Book says. "hold them captive" can be really amazing. If one can learn to control, or restrain/modify some thoughts, it can alter feelings, and it can help you control or alter actions, and reactions. Hard thing to do. I just noticed it in me a few weeks ago. It was because of this thread. Strange thing was that I was not even really aware I was doing it at first.

ghtpdm5 · 02-22-2011, 12:10 PM

been a shit few weeks for me...long story short, wife is being a bitch. couple weeks ago something went wrong, like it always seems to for me, i call her and need to talk. well she doesn't care at all about what is going on here. then, she quit calling at all. now, when she calls, i get yelled at for doing just about anything, last night i was saying that i was going to go pick up some boxes today to pack and get ready to move to arizona. the shitstorm after that...i don't even know. basically the whole conversation was her telling me i'm a damn idiot for wanting to pack my own stuff instead of having the military (who has done nothing but pack sand up my ass about everything they promised while she's be gone) do it. also, last week, saw a transmission for a losi comp for sale, 60 bucks...for 2 hours i got told how it was stupid, and then she begged for me to order a 550 dollar computer. today, i wake up to 3 guys on facebook commenting on every picture of her saying she's sexy, so her cheating on me is probably a sure bet with her responses of googly eyes and shit. i'm basically ready to leave, but then the tears come out that she needs me. worst thing is i'm stuck in this situation because of my health, i can't get hired by anyone once they hear my issues, and she knows it. just really pissing me off and putting me in a manic depressive spiral that i just can't get out of. on top of that, being alone in the great white north is really starting to wear on me.

entropy · 02-22-2011, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ghtpdm5

been a shit few weeks for me

pm comin brother!

slowlearner · 02-22-2011, 03:56 PM

Normally wouldn't wade into something like this, it's not something I like a lot of people knowing about......and that's half the problem. Only certain family members know about it, only 1 good friend. I found out while I was sitting with my dad a couple days before he passed away that he also had battled depression all his life. The look on his face when I told him about things and that I was on the same meds he had been on most of his life, the look of absolute terror on his face is something I'll never forget. I say terror, because dad had been there, had those thoughts and now his son was there. The terrifying thought for me is will my son be affected in years to come??
Like most, I've tried to muddle my way through things for a long time, before having a breakdown a few years ago. For me, it was mostly uni studying, working long hours and father duties all at the same time which over-loaded a head already full of crap. Along comes that straw to break the camels back and hospital quiet room here I come. Doc's gave me Zoloft, but there was still always something there. It took the edge off, but not enough. The thing is too, the meds had other side effects that made things worse. Trying to have 'relations' with the wife, yeah right...short term memory, gone.....energy during the day, gone....regular sleep pattern, gone...The supposed benefits of meds was made redundant by what negative effects they had. That's just me though, I'm sure they work for someone out there.I remember driving to an appointment to see the doc for a check-up for this, listening to SLIPKNOT, yelling, screaming , flogging the shit out of the steering wheel, kicking the firewall,etc etc, when I got there I felt abso-bloody-lutely great.
Years and years before meeting my wife, I had "harmful" thoughts, like "how hard could it be to just wander the car onto the wrong side of the highway?", "what would happen if I just didn't brake at the lights?". Those thoughts are still there occasionally, not so often, but still there. If I'm honest, I don't believe I have the courage to ever do something, but I don't see it as healthy for me to think like that. That's not as bad as others get, or the same sort of thing that others go through, that's just me....we're all different.

Thinking about it now, the only thing that has kept me sane lately is working on my crawler. I haven't driven it in about 9weeks, just constantly working on it. It's how I keep my mind off things. My wife, like others it would seem, doesn't understand, even though she has fought through this as well. Most of the time I keep things bottled up, which is not good either, because it comes out as anger and rage later on and is dirrected at her and the young fella, which in turn makes me feel worse because I'm being a prick of a husband and father.
Been of the Zoloft for a while now, I think it's completly out of my system. I've been trying to get myself fit to see if that helps, trying to cut back on the alcohol, trying to get the body healthy. I'm of the opinion, what works, works. It's different for all of us. Doc's can help, but not fix.

I used to think dpression was a load of crap until I thought back on my life and realised I'bd been living with it in some form since my early teens. Now when I hear of someone with depression, they have my full attention and sympathy and support.

Like I say, not the sort of thing I let out much, but this being the thread it is, feels like I can put it out there without the sort of shit I'd get from friends and family.

entropy · 02-22-2011, 04:07 PM

man! Glad you are here, welcome to our bag of mixed nuts

!

Its good that you feel comfortable opening up somewhere.

You have some really good experiences that you shared of your journey- very useful, and things we often overlook, or dont think about enough. Thanks for adding to the knowledge of this thread!

entropy · 03-18-2011, 03:05 PM

Hey Guys,

We have another member we need to make room for in the boat. Hes got a lot of weight on his shoulders.

I Think I have Depression

Gonna try to bring him on over.

djjiz · 03-18-2011, 05:07 PM

I'm just checking in to say thank you to all who have been a part of this thread and my life. I haven't talked to anyone about this shit and help came from areas I never expected.. Rccrawler being one of them and the friends I have made from this great forum being the other. Support has been great.

I'm off everything except benidril and mirtazapine and cut back on the weed.. Even started to see a specialist and so far so good.

Again.. Thank you..

entropy · 03-18-2011, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djjiz

I'm just checking in to say thank you to all who have been a part of this thread and my life. I haven't talked to anyone about this shit and help came from areas I never expected.. Rccrawler being one of them and the friends I have made from this great forum being the other. Support has been great.

I'm off everything except benidril and mirtazapine and cut back on the weed.. Even started to see a specialist and so far so good.

Again.. Thank you..

Thats excellent brother! You are very welcome, and thank you for being part of this thread and our lives. We all have something, that others can take away from this.

slegh · 03-18-2011, 06:00 PM

ok guys, forgive me for about i am gona say. but i am ass and will be one. pull your heads out of your ass we all get depressed some a hole hell a lot more than others. depeanding on how the person deals with things or the situation of things. live in your hobby we have a hobby or hobbys to mentaly help us. the more the suck meter goes up the deeper you should go into your hobby and not care what anyone says for it is a form of therapy. unless your penney less. well then your boned wich realy sucks. but just rember there is always away to turn your problems around even it takes time. if your in the take time situation just reveal in the fact there is hope to be had.

again please forgive my harshness.. i mean the best out of it.. just reading this thread thought i would give my two cents to what some people are over looking or being deverted from fun, passion and cheaper and longer lasting therapy than a head docotor

djjiz · 03-18-2011, 06:04 PM

Now what about the guys that put 4+ hours a day into crawling?

slegh · 03-18-2011, 06:10 PM

crawler me a river?

or crawler me some more.. or pick another hobby crawl longer or short corse or go chase down varmits with sleage hammer

basicly go out and have intense long lasting fun.

djjiz · 03-18-2011, 06:17 PM

Look at all the money I just saved.

djjiz · 03-18-2011, 07:27 PM

I honestly felt bad for the kid.. After realizing how ignorant he is to the situation and seeing a broken Subaru in his sig I knew he needed help..

entropy · 03-18-2011, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djjiz

I honestly felt bad for the kid.. After realizing how ignorant he is to the situation and seeing a broken Subaru in his sig I knew he needed help..

DJ, you are a beautiful man

!

djjiz · 03-18-2011, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by entropy

DJ, you are a beautiful man

!

Thanks.. My superpower is getting the benefit of the doubt.

entropy · 03-18-2011, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djjiz

Thanks.. My superpower is getting the benefit of the doubt.

Oh, man! Stinkin superhero too!

You know we dont let superheros in here

Wish I had superpowers!

slegh · 03-18-2011, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djjiz

I honestly felt bad for the kid.. After realizing how ignorant he is to the situation and seeing a broken Subaru in his sig I knew he needed help..

my wrx is broken because i keep on spending most of my money on my hobbys because life just sucks but what else is new?

oh yeah i guess was trolling so yeah i am gonna stfu

djjiz · 03-18-2011, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slegh

my wrx is broken because i keep on spending most of my money on my hobbys because life just sucks but what else is new?

oh yeah i guess was trolling so yeah i am gonna stfu

Let me be the first to say Welcome.

Your intro was a little shaky but you should fit right in here.

I share the "life sucks" road with most everyone in this thread and I can't speak for them but I too have spent all my '70 truck money on my crawler. I wanted to be on airbags by fall but I'm to the point where I don't care if I drive it this year and hope crawling, traveling, and crawling friends, is the key to some happiness this summer. I have back up plans.. But crawling is my main goal.

Just writing this little bit to you helps me cope. I suggest that when the time is right for you to just freestyle your guts out. Anything. Everything. Whatever man.. I did.

twisted · 03-18-2011, 08:38 PM

been awhile since i checked in the thread.everyone deals with this in thier own way but i think a common thing we share here is talking about what is bothering and the simple fact that sharing helps.

they recently changed my meds and im doing better but man i can tell ya this, i have a hard time thinking. for instance i had to stop here several times just to think of a word or to finish a sentence. sometimes i come back to what i typed and cant believe i wrote that. looks like i have the grammar skills of a ten year old.

brokennib · 03-18-2011, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twisted

been awhile since i checked in the thread.everyone deals with this in thier own way but i think a common thing we share here is talking about what is bothering and the simple fact that sharing helps.

they recently changed my meds and im doing better but man i can tell ya this, i have a hard time thinking. for instance i had to stop here several times just to think of a word or to finish a sentence. sometimes i come back to what i typed and cant believe i wrote that. looks like i have the grammar skills of a ten year old.

Believe me, I know what you mean, on bad days i have trouble focusing and get confused pretty easy- it's kinda hard to kick-start the brain. But your post sounds fine to me.

02-22-2011, 04:07 PM	#145
entropy Quarry Creeper Join Date: May 2009 Location: Under Communist Occupation Posts: 271	man! Glad you are here, welcome to our bag of mixed nuts! Its good that you feel comfortable opening up somewhere. You have some really good experiences that you shared of your journey- very useful, and things we often overlook, or dont think about enough. Thanks for adding to the knowledge of this thread!

03-18-2011, 03:05 PM	#146
entropy Quarry Creeper Join Date: May 2009 Location: Under Communist Occupation Posts: 271	Hey Guys, We have another member we need to make room for in the boat. Hes got a lot of weight on his shoulders. I Think I have Depression Gonna try to bring him on over. Last edited by entropy; 03-18-2011 at 11:24 PM.

03-18-2011, 06:10 PM	#151
slegh Pebble Pounder Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Salinas gang central of california Posts: 110	crawler me a river? or crawler me some more.. or pick another hobby crawl longer or short corse or go chase down varmits with sleage hammer basicly go out and have intense long lasting fun. Last edited by slegh; 03-18-2011 at 06:14 PM.

02-22-2011, 12:10 PM	#142
ghtpdm5 Defy Gravity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wells, mn Posts: 2,326	been a shit few weeks for me...long story short, wife is being a bitch. couple weeks ago something went wrong, like it always seems to for me, i call her and need to talk. well she doesn't care at all about what is going on here. then, she quit calling at all. now, when she calls, i get yelled at for doing just about anything, last night i was saying that i was going to go pick up some boxes today to pack and get ready to move to arizona. the shitstorm after that...i don't even know. basically the whole conversation was her telling me i'm a damn idiot for wanting to pack my own stuff instead of having the military (who has done nothing but pack sand up my ass about everything they promised while she's be gone) do it. also, last week, saw a transmission for a losi comp for sale, 60 bucks...for 2 hours i got told how it was stupid, and then she begged for me to order a 550 dollar computer. today, i wake up to 3 guys on facebook commenting on every picture of her saying she's sexy, so her cheating on me is probably a sure bet with her responses of googly eyes and shit. i'm basically ready to leave, but then the tears come out that she needs me. worst thing is i'm stuck in this situation because of my health, i can't get hired by anyone once they hear my issues, and she knows it. just really pissing me off and putting me in a manic depressive spiral that i just can't get out of. on top of that, being alone in the great white north is really starting to wear on me.

02-22-2011, 03:56 PM	#144
slowlearner Rock Stacker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: tamworth, nsw, australia Posts: 93	Normally wouldn't wade into something like this, it's not something I like a lot of people knowing about......and that's half the problem. Only certain family members know about it, only 1 good friend. I found out while I was sitting with my dad a couple days before he passed away that he also had battled depression all his life. The look on his face when I told him about things and that I was on the same meds he had been on most of his life, the look of absolute terror on his face is something I'll never forget. I say terror, because dad had been there, had those thoughts and now his son was there. The terrifying thought for me is will my son be affected in years to come?? Like most, I've tried to muddle my way through things for a long time, before having a breakdown a few years ago. For me, it was mostly uni studying, working long hours and father duties all at the same time which over-loaded a head already full of crap. Along comes that straw to break the camels back and hospital quiet room here I come. Doc's gave me Zoloft, but there was still always something there. It took the edge off, but not enough. The thing is too, the meds had other side effects that made things worse. Trying to have 'relations' with the wife, yeah right...short term memory, gone.....energy during the day, gone....regular sleep pattern, gone...The supposed benefits of meds was made redundant by what negative effects they had. That's just me though, I'm sure they work for someone out there.I remember driving to an appointment to see the doc for a check-up for this, listening to SLIPKNOT, yelling, screaming , flogging the shit out of the steering wheel, kicking the firewall,etc etc, when I got there I felt abso-bloody-lutely great. Years and years before meeting my wife, I had "harmful" thoughts, like "how hard could it be to just wander the car onto the wrong side of the highway?", "what would happen if I just didn't brake at the lights?". Those thoughts are still there occasionally, not so often, but still there. If I'm honest, I don't believe I have the courage to ever do something, but I don't see it as healthy for me to think like that. That's not as bad as others get, or the same sort of thing that others go through, that's just me....we're all different. Thinking about it now, the only thing that has kept me sane lately is working on my crawler. I haven't driven it in about 9weeks, just constantly working on it. It's how I keep my mind off things. My wife, like others it would seem, doesn't understand, even though she has fought through this as well. Most of the time I keep things bottled up, which is not good either, because it comes out as anger and rage later on and is dirrected at her and the young fella, which in turn makes me feel worse because I'm being a prick of a husband and father. Been of the Zoloft for a while now, I think it's completly out of my system. I've been trying to get myself fit to see if that helps, trying to cut back on the alcohol, trying to get the body healthy. I'm of the opinion, what works, works. It's different for all of us. Doc's can help, but not fix. I used to think dpression was a load of crap until I thought back on my life and realised I'bd been living with it in some form since my early teens. Now when I hear of someone with depression, they have my full attention and sympathy and support. Like I say, not the sort of thing I let out much, but this being the thread it is, feels like I can put it out there without the sort of shit I'd get from friends and family.

03-18-2011, 05:07 PM	#147
djjiz RCC Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,765	I'm just checking in to say thank you to all who have been a part of this thread and my life. I haven't talked to anyone about this shit and help came from areas I never expected.. Rccrawler being one of them and the friends I have made from this great forum being the other. Support has been great. I'm off everything except benidril and mirtazapine and cut back on the weed.. Even started to see a specialist and so far so good. Again.. Thank you..

03-18-2011, 06:00 PM	#149
slegh Pebble Pounder Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Salinas gang central of california Posts: 110	ok guys, forgive me for about i am gona say. but i am ass and will be one. pull your heads out of your ass we all get depressed some a hole hell a lot more than others. depeanding on how the person deals with things or the situation of things. live in your hobby we have a hobby or hobbys to mentaly help us. the more the suck meter goes up the deeper you should go into your hobby and not care what anyone says for it is a form of therapy. unless your penney less. well then your boned wich realy sucks. but just rember there is always away to turn your problems around even it takes time. if your in the take time situation just reveal in the fact there is hope to be had. again please forgive my harshness.. i mean the best out of it.. just reading this thread thought i would give my two cents to what some people are over looking or being deverted from fun, passion and cheaper and longer lasting therapy than a head docotor

03-18-2011, 06:04 PM	#150
djjiz RCC Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,765	Now what about the guys that put 4+ hours a day into crawling?

03-18-2011, 06:17 PM	#152
djjiz RCC Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,765	Look at all the money I just saved.

03-18-2011, 07:27 PM	#153
djjiz RCC Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,765	I honestly felt bad for the kid.. After realizing how ignorant he is to the situation and seeing a broken Subaru in his sig I knew he needed help..

03-18-2011, 08:38 PM	#159
twisted I wanna be Dave Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,386	been awhile since i checked in the thread.everyone deals with this in thier own way but i think a common thing we share here is talking about what is bothering and the simple fact that sharing helps. they recently changed my meds and im doing better but man i can tell ya this, i have a hard time thinking. for instance i had to stop here several times just to think of a word or to finish a sentence. sometimes i come back to what i typed and cant believe i wrote that. looks like i have the grammar skills of a ten year old.

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